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“I don’t think I realized how much I closed myself off. I told myself it was me growing up and being mature, but really it was me protecting myself the best I could. I’m glad I’m here now though. It’s hard, but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt at peace inside myself. I also feel like the girl I used to be who had the whole world open to her. I want to explore and live life.”
“The world is open to you in so many ways. I’d love for you to show me more of it. I haven’t traveled much, but I’d love to explore with you. If you could take me anywhere, where would it be?”
“Scotland,” I say without a second thought. I’ve already decided when my mom dies, we’re taking a trip there to spread her ashes. I truly think she’d love that. “Also Portugal. But that’s only like three hours away from Scotland by plane, so we could totally do both. I’d love to introduce you to the family I always stayed with.”
I recently got back in touch with them. They were sad to hear about my mom, but excited to hear about Emmie and the wedding. I told them they’re always welcome to visit, and they extended the same offer to me—and I fully intend to take them up on it.
“I’ll go anywhere with you, and I will trust you to calm my anxiety when it hits.”
I laugh at that. “Once you get used to it, you’ll be okay. It’s all about making the first experience a positive one, and since you’ve got a seasoned traveler on your side, you’ll be fine.”
“I can’t wait. First, we conquer Arizona.”
Emmie wiggles in her high chair and hits the tray, crying out for more food.
Miles dumps more fried rice on her tray, and we watch as she picks up handfuls and stuffs them into her mouth.
Miles slides his hand down and squeezes mine as we watch her go to town.
This is the best birthday I’ve had in a long time. Next week we get to celebrate with all our friends and family at our wedding. Tomorrow, I get to celebrate with the girls for my bachelorette party. Tonight is quiet, simple, and everything I need.
“Okay, ready for your final card?” Hyla asks.
We’re having a semi-boozy brunch at Dani’s house for the first half of my bachelorette party. Semi-boozy because Chelsea and I are still breastfeeding, and Rae and Sarah are pregnant.
The incredible tribe of women who have taken me in are all here. Dani, Rae, Sarah, Mackenzie, Amanda, Chelsea, and Hyla—who is doing tarot readings for us.
We were going to watch cheesy rom-coms and having a relaxing morning, but we changed our minds and decided we needed some sisterhood vibes instead. Wanting something fun and not depressing—someone mentioned Beaches and I will not subject myself to that today—we opted for Practical Magic, which then led to a discussion of all things witchy, and now tarot cards.
“Yes, please.” We’re doing a simple three card spread for each person with a focus on where we are or what’s to come in the short term. We’re keeping it light and fun. Dani and Sarah have already gone, and I’m on my third card. I’ve already gotten The Empress—which has to do with motherhood, so that tracks—and the two of cups which is all about connection and partnership. Also on brand for right now. She flips the final card, revealing the ten of cups.
“The ten of cups can symbolize internal happiness and fulfillment and dreams coming true.”
I smile at that, emotion hitting me in the chest. That’s exactly how I feel right now. “Wow. That’s kind of perfect.”
Hyla squeezes my hand. Then she grabs her champagne flute of orange juice and raises it. “Here’s to Amelia. We are so lucky to have you as a part of our tribe, and even luckier to watch your journey to and through motherhood and your love story with Miles blossom. Here’s to all the beautiful things ahead. We love you.”
“Hear, hear!” Dani cheers, raising her glass. Everyone else does the same, and I soak in yet another moment of pure love from the incredible women in my life.
When the moment has passed, Hyla looks around. “Who’s next?”
“I’ll go,” Mackenzie says, coming to sit across the coffee table from Hyla. I stand and walk around to the other side, sitting on the couch behind her where Rae is lounging. Rae lifts her legs so I can sit, but promptly drops them back into my lap as I laugh. She’s nine months pregnant. She can do whatever she wants.
Hyla starts shuffling the deck as she and Mackie keep glancing at each other. I’m not sure if they’re trying to catch each other’s gaze or not, but the tension is evident between them.
Mackie told Miles that Hyla asked her to go to the wedding together. I’m not sure if anyone else knows, but the tension between them is palpable.
A card flies out of the deck, landing face down. Whenever a card jumps out, you’re always supposed to pick it up and look at it. It’s supposed to have special or amplified meaning.
The card landed sideways between the two of them, and they both reach for it, their fingers brushing.
“Oh. You should flip it,” Hyla says. “It’s meant for you.”
Their eyes lock, then Mackie slowly flips it over.
The Lovers.
A card about unity and relationships.
