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“You know damn well what I’m talking about.” Michael walked away, speaking over his shoulder. “See you soon, when we get the results.”
“We’re fighting for him, Mikey. You don’t wanna be a father. You wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
There were so many things he wanted to say back, but he bit his tongue and exited the clinic, taking in the cool mountain air. Closing his eyes, he fought the mixed emotions coursing through him. He wanted Jace to be his. And at the same time, it scared the hell out of him.
“So, is that kid yours?” Mitch was sprawled out across the couch when Michael got home from the clinic. He was expecting to see a beer in his younger brother’s hand, but he was holding a glass of water, his other hand gripping the TV remote.
“Won’t know for a few days,” Michael replied with a shrug, sitting in the recliner.
“With all the medical technology they have now, you’d think it’d be an instant thing. Even COVID tests are like fifteen minutes now.”
Michael eyed the TV. “Why aren’t you at work?”
“Used a sick day. Why aren’t you?”
“I went in early and got everything done before the appointment. That damn clinic always ran slow, and I figured nothing had changed. My boss was good with it.”
Mitch sat up and put the glass on the table beside the couch. “Honestly, I took the day off to go see mom.”
The mention of his mother always made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and Michael almost got up to leave the room but stopped himself. Part of being in recovery meant listening, understanding, and eventually forgiving, though it was going to take a long time for him to ever consider forgiving her. “Okay.”
“Don’t you wanna even know how she is?”
“Not really.”
“That’s all in the past, Mikey.” Mitch waved his hand and muted the TV. “She wants to see you. She’s pretty upset you haven’t been by. You’ve been out for almost a month now.” Mitch scrubbed his hand down the side of his face. “You haven’t even considered it, have you?”
“Would you if you were me? She never came and saw me in prison.”
“She feels guilty.”
“Good.”
“About everything,” Mitch continued. “She wanted to go visit you, but she has no means of transportation. She’s not well. And she says she lives every day with the regret of what happened to you. What happened to us. You seem to forget you’re not the only one…”
“I got it the most. And I don’t wanna talk about it.” So much of their past had been shoved aside, in the deep recesses of his mind. Being home was bringing it all back up to the surface, and his mother would dig it up completely, making him relive the horrible things he went through as a child. Only Mitch and her knew the whole story… and the man involved. Michael wanted to keep it that way. “You could’ve taken her to see me.”
“Honestly, Mikey, did you want her to show up?”
“No.” He didn’t even have to think about it. “I’m good with never seeing her again.”
“She did the best she could with us.”
Michael stood up and paced to the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, he dreaded seeing the beer that would be tempting, only to be surprised that it had been cleaned out with nothing but some sodas and Gatorade. Closing it, he raked his hand through his hair and stared out the window above the sink.
“The best, huh?” Clicking his tongue, he closed his eyes and shook his head. “Keep on defending her. That’s fine. You were there. You know. And if you wanna see her, that’s fine, but don’t bring me into it. And don’t try and guilt me because it’s not gonna work.”
“You’re a stubborn man, Mikey.”
Michael glanced at his watch. “I gotta head back into town. I have a meeting I need to get to. You’re welcome to come.”
“AA?”
Michael nodded. “And thanks for getting rid of all the beer. That’s a step in the right direction. The meeting will help even more.” He didn’t figure his brother would want to and was surprised when he stood from the couch and slid his baseball cap on.
“Let’s do it. I want you to succeed, and you won’t if I don’t try and change, too.”
Chapter Ten
