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“How can you allow him to go back to that house knowing what’s happening?”
“I can’t give you too much information about this since this is an open custody case. Just know we are investigating the situation. If he was in immediate danger, he’d be placed in foster care.”
“Foster care? Why not with me? I’m his father.”
“Now that we have official paternity results back, it’s a possibility. There’s some investigating that has to happen on your side too. You’re on parole. We have checks and balances we must look into before we can consider you as a placement. I can’t discuss this with you due to the open case. Just know we are making sure he’s safe.”
Michael wanted to say more, but Jace exited the restroom and joined them. He had a skip to his step and a genuine smile on his face. Michael knelt in front of him again, ruffling his hand through his hair once more. “Can I hug you, Jace?”
“Yeah.”
Michael pulled him close, holding him so tight he feared he might hurt him. To his surprise, Jace returned the favor, both locked in a close embrace that made his eyes sting when the worker had to separate them to go back to Marilyn. He had been through many hard things in his life – some so painful he disassociated from them, but seeing the caseworker release his son back to Marilyn ripped his heart out.
He watched from a distance as Jace reluctantly took his mother’s hand and walked back to her car, where her husband was waiting.
“This is all a fucked-up system,” he said loud enough for the caseworker to hear.
“What do you mean?”
“You sat here today and heard him say she’s using in front of him. That she’s leaving him unattended while she does things behind closed doors. You and I both know what those things are.” He used to be the man behind the closed door with her, but he omitted that. And there weren’t kids involved back then. “And then you just let him go right back home with her to have it happen some more.”
“I would not release a child into danger.”
“You just did.” Michael scoffed and had to tell himself to calm down. The woman could document things about him that could be used against him in the custody case as well. “I know what she’s up to. I know what he’s going through. And there’s not a God damn thing I can do about it.”
“You’re doing something about it,” the lady replied.
“I am?”
“You’re trying to get custody. It’s a step in the right direction, and the best thing you can do to get him away from whatever it is you think is happening in that house.”
“I’m not thinking something is happening. I know it is.”
“Be patient. And just know there’s eyes on the situation. Go to your lawyer meetings and get ready for court. Keep on the straight and narrow. That’s the best advice I can give you and about all I can say on the matter.”
Michael raked his hand through his hair and fought the alcohol craving that coursed through his body. This was all for Jace now. Not for parole, not for getting revoked… it was for his child. A child he loved and would do anything for. After just one meeting with the boy, he knew he’d die for the kid if he had to. He’d never felt a love so strong until that moment.
The first person Michael wanted to talk to after his meeting with Jace was Haize. She was who he immediately thought about when he got back to the pickup. He couldn’t figure out why she was who he thought of. She was his sponsor and was helpful when he had a craving, but he quickly pushed aside any desire to get a drink when thinking about his determination to fight for Jace. But he still wanted to talk to her.
Despite knowing it was wrong, he dialed her number, and she picked up on the first ring. His heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice, and he almost hung up but didn’t. She already knew it was him. How stupid would it have been to do that, as if he were a love-struck teenager? He searched for an excuse and stammered on his words like he had never talked to a woman before.
“Hey, Haize. I probably shouldn’t be calling you.”
“Nonsense. I’m your sponsor, Mikey. What’s going on?”
He leaned against the truck window and watched the rain come down. “I just had my visit with Jace.”
“Yeah? How’d it go?”
“It’s bittersweet. It went well and he talked to me, but now I got a taste of it, and I want more, Haize. I want him in my life every day. Not just occasionally during a supervised visit. It’s not enough.”
“You’re taking the right steps to get it that way, Mikey. It takes time and patience, and you’re going in the right direction.”
“That’s what everyone keeps telling me, but it’s so hard.” He gripped the steering wheel with his free hand, still parked in front of the CPS office. “I know what that boy is going through in that home with her. I don’t want him to have to be there another second.”
“That must be really hard for you, Mikey. It’s gonna work out. He’s gonna have a life he never thought possible because of what you’re doing for him right now. He might not know it yet, but he will.”
Michael closed his eyes and felt the burning under his lids. He had been on the verge of tears since Jace had said what he had about the things Marilyn did at home. “I…” Again, he had thoughts he shouldn’t be having. “I need to see you, Haize. Can I see you?”
