Page 29 of Sinner's Vow


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I bite my lip as I debate how to answer. I don’t want to lie to Ben, but they’re not the reason I’m worried about him. “I did talk to them—” I admit, but before I can continue in my explanation, he cuts me off.

“I fucking knew it. The only time you manage to get along with them is when you all decide to gang up on me and make me feel like the fucking deadbeat of the family. Well, you know what, Dani? You’ve got your own baggage to deal with now, so why don’t you climb down off your fucking soapbox already?”

“Ben!” I say, shocked at my brother’s vitriol.

Even during our worst fights as kids, I’ve never seen him like this before.

Huffing, he shakes his head as he looks away from me over his shoulder, as if searching for someone.

“I actually came here to see if you’re alright. Mom and Dad told me you got into a bar fight and pulled a gun on someone. You went to jail. That’s a big deal, and whether you want to believe me or not, I care if you’re okay.”

Ben’s sharp blue gaze meets mine, and his shoulders relax slightly.

“Are you… okay?” I ask tentatively, my heart aching to think of my brother in such a precarious situation. I don’t know any of the details. All I know is that I love Ben, and I want him to be safe—preferably without a criminal record.

“I’m fine, Dani,” he assures me after a long pause, and this time, his voice is gentle, closer to the same big-brother tone he’s always given me.

“What happened?” I ask hesitantly, trying for a new angle. Maybe, if I let him talk about it first, he’ll see I’m ready to listen, and he might then be more willing to listen to me.

“Your fucking boyfriend’s clan, that’s what happened,” he says, his anger spiking once again.

His mood swings are starting to give me whiplash.

“They’re the ones who started it. I was just minding my own business, hanging out with some friends. It’s like they think they own the entire city of New York. Fucking cunts. Going on about how we didn’t belong there. The guy got in my face and yanked me off my stool. He ripped my fucking shirt, making a scene of it. So, yeah, I pulled a gun. I was just defending myself.”

I bite my tongue as my stomach twists in knots.

Of course, I wasn’t there, so I have no clue if that’s the entire story. But for the first time in my life, I’m starting to doubt my brother. I don’t know if I can trust him to tell me the whole truth. Everything changed that night I got a call from Mikhail telling me that Ben was hurt and needed me.

My brother let me walk right into that trap, and I don’t know if he fully understands how deeply he betrayed me. How could he? I’ve never told him what a creep Mikhail is. I need to. It’s not fair to keep the truth from him—even if it’s incredibly uncomfortable to talk about with my brother.

But where do I start?

“Ben, listen. I know you like Mikhail and think he’s a stand-up guy and all, but I don’t think he’s a good person. I mean, look at how you’ve changed since you started working for him. I don’t like hearing you’ve been carrying a gun—let alone participating in a bar fight. You and I were raised better than to use violence to solve our problems, and I just worry that this new aggression is stemming from your relationship with him.”

I know I’ve misstepped as soon as the words leave my mouth. That was definitely the wrong starting point, and Ben bristles defensively as his face twists into a sneer.

“Aren’t you tired of having this same fucking discussion over and over? How about this, Dani? I’ll walk away from Mikhail when you stop fucking Efrem and cut ties with Pyotr and his family.” Ben rises from the steps, brushing off the back of his jeans as he scowls down at me.

Tears sting my eyes as I face the cold, hard truth that Ben and I are unwaveringly on opposite sides of a war that has nothing to do with us. We’ve been pitted against each other in a way I never thought possible, and it tears me up to feel the vast chasm separating me from the one person I grew up worshiping as a hero.

“Ben,” I beg, my voice tearful. “Please don’t let them drag you into their fight. I don’t care whose side you’re on. I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” I say. “I want my brother back, the one I was so close to growing up. We were best friends, and I miss that.”

My heart aches as my brother crosses his arms over his chest defensively, his look almost mocking. “That kid’s gone, Dani. I’ve grown up, and now that I’ve seen the world for what it truly is, I can’t just go back to pretending everything is okay. If you want to be close again, then you’re going to have to wake up. You’re living in a fantasy, pretending that just because you want the world to be rainbows and kittens, that, somehow, that’s how it must be.”

My temper flares as he cuts me down with his words, and in an instant, I’m on my feet. “You’re such an asshole, Benjamin Richelieu!” I shout, the tears starting to flow as I clench my fists.

Ben huffs, his lips tipping into a crooked sneer, like he’s come to expect nothing less of me. Like he knew all along that our conversation would devolve into petty name-calling.

Brushing angrily at my tears, I try one last ditch attempt to talk to my brother, to bridge the massive gorge that stands between us. “Please, Ben. Just think about it, okay? Is this really the person you want to be? Someone so angry they’re willing to take another person’s life to get what they want? That’s not you. I get it that the world is fucked up. And I can see that you’re trying to do your part to make it better. I don’t blame you if you’ve lost faith in our justice system, in the laws that fail to stop the crime we see every day. But this isn’t the way to do it.”

Ben’s face shifts, his expression morphing from contemptuous and spiteful to vulnerable instantly. And in that cracking facade, I see my opening.

“We don’t need any of them, Ben. Let’s you and me figure out a way to make the world right. Just… don’t go back to Mikhail.”

“Dani.” Ben’s eyes clear, his brows pressing together in compassionate concern. “I—”

A sharp crack cuts through the air, stopping Ben’s sentence short. And I flinch at the noise that sounds like a car backfiring.

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