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The depth of the betrayal floors me. How could he know and not tell me? Did he fear I would try and stop it? Of course, I would. I would do anything to save my brother, to keep him safe. How could Efrem let it happen? He must know what losing Ben would do to me. And still, he chose loyalty to his Bratva, to his pakhan. In an instant, my grief shifts to all-consuming anger. I want answers.
14
DANI
“Dani, is everything okay?” Efrem answers his phone, even though he’s currently working.
I hate how good it feels to hear his voice, the immediate comfort that seeps through my body, even though he betrayed me. Then his concern triggers my suspicion. Was he expecting me to call because he knew Ben would be shot right in front of me? The thought sends a shiver down my spine.
Outside, I look up and down the bustling street. Here seems as good a place as any to confront Efrem. It’s well populated, so I know if I need to, I can run, and he won’t chase me. Not that I’ve ever thought he would hurt me before. Then again, I thought I could trust Efrem. And now, all I know is that I don’t know anything.
Looking up at the street signs just outside the hospital, I ask, “Will you meet me at the corner of Washington and Eastern Parkway?” I manage to keep my voice steady, cold, and unemotional, though inside, I’m falling apart.
“Sure. Now?” He sounds anxious.
“Yes, now.”
“Okay. I will be right there.”
He ends the call quickly, perhaps wanting to get off the phone because he has something to hide, and my stomach knots at the thought.
Though the air is frigid outside, I remain where I stand. The biting wind helps keep me grounded in reality and tells me that this is really happening. It’s not just some horrible nightmare. Now that I know Efrem is on his way, I’m not really sure what I’m going to say when he gets here.
I’m so hurt, so angry, all I want to do is scream. But one question keeps racing through my head. Why?
Why Ben? Why did he have to die? Why didn’t Efrem tell me? Why didn’t he do something? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
I feel like I’m cracking, splintering in my heart and mind under the pressure of losing my brother and knowing that someone I’ve thought of as family is responsible. And the man I love kept it from me.
Then it hits me. That’s not love. Someone who loves me wouldn’t stand by and just let my brother be murdered in cold blood. What Efrem and I had was supposed to be special, but I was deluding myself. Ben tried to tell me from the start. Just like Pyotr, Efrem is as cold as ice. Our relationship was purely physical to him. That’s how he could keep it from me.
It’s nice to know he felt an inkling of guilt about it. I could see it in his face the other night when he told me it was best I don’t know everything when it comes to Veles business. I think he thought about telling me, at least. But that’s not good enough. Because Ben’s still dead.
I tremble, and I’m not sure if it’s from grief or cold this time. Shoulders hunched, I stare out at the intersection, willing Efrem to get here so I can get my answers. And at the same time, wishing I didn’t have to know.
“Dani.”
His familiar, deep, accented voice comes from behind me, and I’m so tense, it makes me jump. Turning, I keep my arms crossed over my chest, gripping my elbows to trap what little warmth I have left.
As soon as he sees me, Efrem frowns, stopping in his tracks. His expression shifts to one that looks genuinely like concern, and it makes me want to scream. Did he not think I might mourn my brother?
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his eyes searching me for answers.
They land on the rust-colored stains on my shirt. Ben’s blood that has dried into a hard mat but still smells revoltingly like copper. The reminder brings bile to my throat, and I choke on my words as my emotions spiral.
“Dani?” he presses, closing the distance between us.
He reaches for me, compassion in his eyes, and that ignites the fury within me, burning through my overwhelming pain. Now he wants to pretend he cares? I snatch my hand away like one might after touching a hot stove. I don’t ever want Efrem to touch me again.
“What’s wrong?” I hiss, the potent cocktail of agony and anger choking me. “You want to stand there and pretend you don’t know? At least have the decency to be honest with me.”
“Honest…?” Efrem’s hand drops, his expression growing bewildered, and that only furthers my rage.
“The only reason I asked you to come here is because I want to know why.”
“Why what?” he asks, reaching for me again.
“Don’t touch me!” I scream, unable to contain my emotions as I lash out at him with my voice. My outburst draws the eyes of several passersby, who slow to see what’s wrong.
