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“You don’t need to keep apologizing, Dani,” he reassures me, his warm hands enveloping mine.
“But you didn’t kill Ben. And you didn’t know about it because Pyotr didn’t kill him either. I spoke to Silvia—well, more like she talked sense into me—and I feel terrible because you told me so many times, but I was so hurt and so angry that I refused to listen… I just… I couldn’t allow myself to believe you because, otherwise, nothing makes sense. Why did Ben have to die? Who could possibly have reason to kill him aside from the Veles?”
I feel the knot tightening in my throat and the tears threatening to come again. I thought I’d cried all the tears I possibly could about my brother. But now that I’m with Efrem, and his warm blue eyes are peering deep into my soul, all that pain and loss surface once more.
“Oh, krasivyy tsvetok,” he murmurs, pulling me close as I sniffle, fighting to hold back the flood of emotion.
I wrap my arms around his neck, tucking my face into his shoulder to hide the pain as he lifts me onto his lap. One arm holds me firmly as the other rubs my back.
“He shouldn’t have died. He didn’t need to die. I am so sorry for your loss,” he breathes, his deep, rumbling voice both comforting and also inviting as he lets me grieve without judgment, condition, or expectation.
Like Silvia, his remorse is genuine. Yet, with Efrem, I feel him forming a safe space around me, one that allows me to truly feel the devastating pain that I’ve been trying so hard to control. Because I shouldn’t need more support or sympathy than my parents, who lost their only son. But here, now, I’m allowed to cry, to safely share my pain because Efrem has me, and he won’t let me suffer alone.
Fresh sobs rack my body, and I cling to the love of my life, so grateful for his strength, his constancy. How he can be so understanding and so forgiving is beyond me. And how I’ve endured these past few weeks without him is unfathomable. I need Efrem more than I need air to breathe.
And as I cry freely, I can feel the true relief of knowing someone understands the depth of my grief. He lets me cry and cry, his patience never waning, his embrace strong and steadfast and so gloriously comforting.
Finally, I manage to calm my tears, my breathing growing more steady as they ease. “I’m sorry I keep crying,” I sniffle.
“Dani, stop apologizing.” Efrem’s voice is authoritative as he draws back slightly, though his smile softens the command.
“Sorry—I mean—”
Efrem chuckles. Then his expression grows more serious. “You suffered a serious loss. Ben was a good brother to you… most of your life. And you were very close. You need time to grieve. And everyone does so in their own way. I’m just glad you have decided to stop keeping me at arm’s length. And that you believe I wouldn’t do something as cruel as take your brother from you.”
“I know that now. I never should have accused you.”
“I can’t blame you for considering it. I found myself questioning Pyotr when I spoke to him simply because I couldn’t see anyone else who would have a motive.”
It gives me a modicum of comfort to know even Efrem could doubt Pyotr, though he is the most loyal person I’ve ever met. But it still leaves me with the haunting question of who did kill Ben. And why. I hate how senseless his death seems. Why Ben? Why not me?
“As long as we’re on the topic of accusations you’ve thrown my way,” Efrem says, his voice warm as his hands slide affectionately up and down my back.
I can tell he’s trying to help me out of my pit of despair with a bit of levity. “I’ve accused you of something else?” I rack my brain, trying to recall what he’s talking about.
“I may have fully become the stalker you used to tease me about being.” He has the gal to look adorably bashful, like he thinks I’ll get a scolding.
“You mean you kept standing watch outside my window even after I bit your head off?” My heart warms at the thought.
“I’ve been worried about your safety,” he confesses.
I frown. “Why?”
He shakes his head, his hands gripping me more firmly, as if assuring himself that I am, in fact, safe and here with him now. “If it wasn’t Pyotr who shot Ben, then who would want your brother dead? The only motive I could think of was that someone is targeting your family because of your father’s position.”
I hadn’t considered that. But as unlikely as it seems, I suppose I can’t rule out any possibilities at this point. Beyond that, I’m filled with a deep appreciation and love for Efrem. Through everything, all the venom I’ve flung at him, he strayed true.
“Thank you,” I breathe, running my fingers through his blond locks as I comb them out of his sky-blue eyes.
Their silent question makes my heart swell, and I lean in, pressing a kiss to his full lips.
Sparks ripple down my body at the connection, and my heart flutters at the familiar yet long-awaited touch.
31
DANI
Strong fingers splay across my back, pulling me closer, more firmly against Efrem’s solid chest, and my body responds eagerly, melting against him. It feels like months since I’ve touched him, though, in reality, it’s been mere weeks.
