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His harsh tone and the fact all eyes are on me makes me feel like a schoolgirl, brought to the front of the class to be chastised. It’s not something I ever experienced, of course. I wouldn’t have dared step out of line at school, for fear of incurring my grandfather’s wrath. But I witnessed it happening to other girls and I suspect this level of humiliation is what they suffered.
“Yes, of course.” My voice is little more than a squeak.
Bowing my head, I swallow hard and try not to cry. Alessandro says nothing to defend or console me and an awkward silence descends upon the room. If I wasn’t afraid of the repercussions, I would get up and leave.
“Please, everyone, eat,” Ava urges us, “before it gets cold.”
“It’s beef carpaccio,” Matteo points out. “It’s supposed to be cold.”
“Madre di Dio,” Antonio curses. “Just eat.”
Along with the others, I immediately pick up my fork and sample the food. The thinly sliced beef, served with an arugula salad,is delicious. As everyone shares their appreciation for the food, the conversation slowly picks up. By the time the next course is brought in, the earlier tension seems to have been forgotten by everyone but me. The brothers talk animatedly to each other. I smile and nod politely as Ava and Olivia chat about places in New York Imustvisit.
Popping some of the braised lamb, served with a rich red wine sauce and a creamy polenta, into my mouth, I savor the complex flavors.
“É deliziosa,” I remark to nobody in particular.
“We try to stick to authentic Italian recipes to honor our heritage,” Ava tells me. “Our cook, Marta, is from Ravello.”
Goosebumps rise on the backs of my arms when I hear the name of a town that lies less than thirty miles from my home. Is San Vicente still my home? I may never be able to go back there. That gloomy thought needs to be shelved for now.
“I know Ravello well.”
I wonder if I’ll get the chance to speak to Marta sometime. It would be great to connect with someone from my homeland.
“You’re so lucky.” Olivia lets out a dreamy sort of sigh. “I love that part of Italy.”
“You’ve been?”
“Once or twice, but I never had the chance to explore.”
She flashes a glare at her oldest brother, who’s too busy talking to Leo about a racehorse to notice. I’m guessing she’s mad because he keeps a tight leash on his only sister.
“I wish I could have explored more of my country, butNonnowas really strict.” I shrug in response to Olivia’s sympathetic nod. “When I was little, my parents used to let me play on the beach. They took me all over the north of Italy, to Firenze, Pisa.”
Olivia sighs. “I’ve always wanted to go to Florence. You’ve been, haven’t you, Sandro?”
My husband breaks off from his conversation with Matteo to respond to his sister.
“Yes, Gio and I spent a few weeks there.” He turns to his youngest brother, who’s shoveling food into his mouth like there’s an impending shortage of polenta nobody else knows about. “When was that?”
Gio, who’d appear boyish if not for the haunted look in his eye, purses his lips as though trying to recall.
“Five years ago. We went for my eighteenth.”
“Oh, yeah,” Alessandro says. “Remember that bar we went to, by the river?”
Olivia and I are quickly forgotten as my husband and Gio swap memories of their trip. I don’t mind Alessandro not giving me his full attention. I’m still smarting over the implied threat he issued in the car when talking about Antonio’s wife, and I’m mad at him for sitting back impassively while his brother berated me.
“So, tell me about life in San Vicente,” Olivia says as she dabs the corner of her mouth with a napkin.
I don’t want to talk about my grandfather and thinking about poor Maria who died alongside him makes me sad, so I choose a safer topic.
“Well, I didn’t have many friends, except for Chiara, who I knew since kindergarten. I had lots of cousins, though.” As I speak, I realize my life probably sounds boring to a woman who grew up in a vibrant city like New York. “I didn’t go to college, but I worked in my uncle’s hotel.”
Olivia wrinkles her nose as if she can’t imagine anything worse. “What was that like?”
“Oh, I loved it. I met so many nice people. I mean, not everyone was nice, and it could be hard work at times, but it gave me something to do.”
