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“You’re human, Alice. You deserved to have a human life. If I’d told you about the pack, that would have been your whole life. A secret you would have had keep secret from friends, boyfriends, a husband, your children. It didn’t seem fair to make you carry that burden.”
Fire burns along the bond between my mate and me. It pains me to let her burn, but she needs this. To let go of the neglect she’s felt for so long.
“No,” she yells. “You made me carry the burden of thinking my father didn’t love me. I haven’t had any relationships because I didn’t feel worthy of them. Not worthy because not even my own father thought I was worth his time.”
“Oh, Alice.” He reaches for her but pulls back when she flinches. “I fucked up. I know that now, but I’m ready to do whatever you need me to do to make it up to you.”
Alice pinches her lips shut. Frustration, anger, betrayal screams at me through our bond and I do everything I can to send her my love and support. When I send her my regret and apology for not telling her the truth, Alice turns to me.
I don’t need the bond to know how she feels, I can see the hurt in her eyes. In the tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I need some time,” Alice says as she stands.
“Alice—” I take her hand.
“I don’t want to be angry with you, Kane, but it’s really hard not to be right now.” Alice pulls out of my grip and marches to the elevator door, the only exit.
“Where are you going?” I ask, on my feet.
“Let her go, brother,” Dimitri orders in a firm but caring way. He’s my pack alpha. I’m compelled to listen. “She’s a smart girl. After what she’s been through, she won’t leave the casino. The pack will keep an eye on her.”
I’m reluctant to sit down as the elevator door hides my mate from me. I can still feel her through the bond and I don’t hide my concern for her. She’s hurting. Feeling lost and alone when she couldn’t be further from it. Her father and I are and always have been here for her. It feels like she gets the message, acknowledging it with what feels like a caress down the bond. It gives me the relief to let her go.
For now.
Chapter fifteen
Alice
I’d forgotten the energyof this place. The literal bells and whistles that feed the hungry patrons. Urging them to roll the dice, flip another card, drop another coin and rip another lever. Even just the promise of a win feeding their hope and desperate need to drop another coin in a slot or chip on a table.
As I look around the room, I wonder if that’s why he chose this business as a front for his pack. Their lifestyle that looks and seems to function for all the world like the crime families from movies. All the people are so distracted by their obsession. Drunk on the bright chaos and endless free drinks. They never look twice at the giant, musclebound men with sharp teeth, lurking in every corner.
That makes sense for them, but how did I never see it? When my own father…
With a defeated sigh, I lean on the black marble bar, glowing with soft blue light, reflecting on the wall covered in mirrors and liquor behind it.
I could really go for any one of those bottles right now. Drink until I forget, at least for a little while, that my entire life is a lie.
“Ms. Ferrara,” the bartender says across the bar from me.
I don’t recognize him, but his eyes are wide as though he’s surprised to see me.
Makes sense. Been gone for six months after spending most of my life, hiding in places all around this building I shouldn’t have been, not paying much attention to people and things going on around me.
“Can I get you anything?” he asks me.
“Thank you. No. I was just leaving.” I push off the bar, giving him a little wave as I walk away.
Standing on the edge of the floor, waiting for the elevator to take me up to my old room, I dig through my childhood memories.
It wasn’t a bad life, growing up here. Raising a kid in a casino shouldn’t have been safe, but I never felt otherwise.
Lonely, but safe.
I wasn’t sheltered. Never felt trapped or controlled. I could have gotten into so much trouble, but I never felt the need. Of course, part of that was due to the fact that I fully believed there was nothing I could have done that would have gotten my father’s attention. No matter how bad it was. That’s how little I saw of him.
Damn, if part of me doesn’t want to feel better, knowing nowwhymy father kept his distance. It still pisses me the fuck off, but I can’t say that I blame him. He’d just lost his soul mate. Was left with a toddler that wasn’t his. He could have abandoned me completely, but instead he let me stay and made the choice to protect me the best way he knew how because he loved my mother. A love I don’t doubt for a second he had for my mother since I’ve felt that love so deeply for Kane.
