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“Of course, I did. I know you ache for home, but, baby girl, I’m your home now. In the military, we move a lot, but one thing is for sure. You will always have me, and wherever I will be your home. Okay?”
“Yeah,” she gave him a small smile. “Yeah, okay.”
“Our marriage may never be perfect, but maybe someday, it will be good enough.”
“I think we’re headed in the right direction.”
“You might change your mind after you get your butt spanked for what you pulled today. I still don’t know what you were thinking.”
“Sometimes, I don’t think. I just act. I let my emotions push me over the edge of logic.”
“Well, sweetheart, I will be your guardrail to keep you from going over.”
“I am just, so… angry. I wanted to be there when you got Emanuele. I wanted him to know what he took away from me. I’m angry they are gone. You know what makes me angrier? They took life from my family, not just the physical life but the chance to live. My sisters won’t ever get married and have the babies for my parents spoil rotten. My dad won’t walk them down the aisle. They won’t graduate from college. Yeah, I’m pissed as hell my dad didn’t get to walk me down the aisle, but Iam also just as pissed they took that experience away from him as well. It’s like, my grief is warring with itself. I can’t grieve for what they took from me if I don’t also grieve what they took away from them.”
“I get it. Baby, I get it. I’ve had a lot of the same feelings. Stupid shit, like never being able to beat my brothers in another game of pool or corn hole or having my mother call and nag me about getting married. Then I think about how Patrick will never hold his baby or teach him to catch a ball, and that infuriates me.”
“I’ve been begging God to wake me up from this nightmare, to make none of this true, but I don’t get to wake up, do I?” She was shaking as she asked, and it broke his heart.
“No, sweetheart. You’re awake. Sometimes, the worst nightmares are the ones that occur during the day when you’re awake.”
“I wish I had stayed. I wish my feet hadn’t hurt. I wish I had listened to my mom and stayed there. You know, she wanted me to stay and wait for you.”
“I’m glad you didn’t. You would have died with them.”
“Some days, I think that would have been better. There are so many things I wish I had said, which now, I’ll never have a chance to say.”
“You can still say all the words, sweetheart. You can write them or speak them out loud. It might be helpful. Some believe the dead are still here with us, watching and listening. Helping and guiding us along the way.”
“Do you believe that?”
“I’m not sure. There are definitely times, unexplainable times, when things happen that remind me of those who have gone before me, but I want them to be in heaven, happy, not tied to this earth, stuck to me.”
“None of this is easy, is it?”
“No, grieving isn’t easy.”
“It’s not going to go away, is it?”
“No, sweet girl, it’s not, but I will be here, grieving alongside you. I won’t leave you. I’ll help you. I’ll be there for you.”
“I know, Shane. I know you’re grieving, too, and I’m here for you.”
EPILOGUE
One year later
Shane stood back and watched as Frankie put roses on each of her family member’s graves. Roses she had grown in their backyard garden in California. She nurtured them, and on several occasions, he had found her talking to them.
She fit in well with the military lifestyle. Once settled in, she went to college to pursue a degree in counseling, and Shane couldn’t be prouder of her. She had become good friends with Max’s wife, and together, they got up to a lot of shenanigans. Today, on the one-year anniversary of the massacre, they had returned to Washington State for the first time since the day he had killed Emanuele. She was ready to say her goodbyes, and he wouldn’t rush her.
After placing the final rose, she went to the family mausoleum and beckoned him. Following, he went inside and watched in awe as, with quick movements, she revealed a secret door. Removing a white box from a shelf filled with other boxes, she lifted out the tiara. It was a breathtaking piece of jewelry.
“All the blood that has been spilled for this piece of junk,” she muttered. “A year ago, I didn’t think it was junk. In fact, Ihardcore judged my sister for not valuing it the way it should be. It was more than a piece of jewelry; it was a family heirloom with history attached. Today, I would throw it into a fireplace to have my sister back. They say it points to priceless jewels, gold, and the likes, but who cares? Money doesn’t go with you when you die. I can wear this tiara in my casket, but it still stays on Earth when my spirit leaves my body.” She placed the tiara back in the box and put it back on the shelf. “It can stay here for another few hundred years for all I care. All I need in this life is you. If that’s all I have, it’s enough.”
“I agree.” He kissed her. “We have more than enough with our love for each other.”
“Speaking of love for each other, are you ready to head to Colorado with Max and Brianna to visit Phantom? I love that we’ll be his first couples to test out the place.”
