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"Yuck, I can’t believe I just said that about my dad." Ella makes a disgusted face.
"You want to know what more your father gives me?" I say, leaning closer to her in a seductive manner, sticking out mytongue as if I'm going to lick her face. She screeches playfully, laughing and shooing me away.
"Not my dad! My dad has had sex exactly twice in his life. Once to create moi," she says, batting her eyes and pressing her hand to her chest, "and once accidentally to create my little brother or sister." She pats my midsection playfully, but I’m still smiling at the memory of all the things Jeremy has done to me, how my body tingles every time he is near.
"Accidentally? How do you accidentally have sex?" I ask, not bothering to hide my sarcasm.
"I don’t know, maybe fall down while you’re naked and land on top of someone? All I know is my saintly father isn’t that kind of man. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it."
Fifteen minutes later, Ella pulls into her father’s driveway. I take a deep breath, still grappling with the weight of my decision.
"Come on," she says, trying to encourage me. "He’s gonna be thrilled to see you. And who knows, maybe the two of you will work things out."
I pin her with a measured gaze. "We’re not working things out, Ella. I’m sorry, I hate to keep sounding like the bad guy, but what you’re imagining just isn’t gonna happen."
"Never say never." She sings the song as we head into the house. "My dad should be in his room or his office. I’ll go and call him."
"Don’t worry. I’ll find him if you don’t mind." She smiles sheepishly and theatrically swings her hand, showing me the way. "Clown," I mutter, but she hears me.
"I heard that."
"I know, you were supposed to," I hiss back over my shoulder.
Jeremy’s office door is slightly open, and I find him seated at his desk, working on some files. When he sees me, he stands up and mutters my name inaudibly.
"You know very well that the Jenkins project files aren’t ready," I tease softly, nodding toward his work. He doesn’t laugh. I look around nervously. "May I come in?"
"Yes," he answers simply.
I walk closer to him and then stop, taking a look at the room. The color scheme, the curtains, the furnishings, they’re all strangely similar to his office at our building. I feel a surge of heat as memories of being together in his office wash over me. I can’t count the number of times we made love there, on his table, in the chair with me straddling him, grabbing fistfuls of his hair as my orgasm–
Chloe, stop it! That’s exactly why you’re in this mess!I remind myself.
I flush at the memory and clear my throat. He looks at me, and I can see that’s what he’s thinking about too. The lust in his eyes envelops me, trying to draw me closer.
"I've decided to keep the baby."
"What?" he asks, almost in awe. His reaction is a mix of surprise and joy. "Thank you so much, Chloe."
He rushes around the desk and embraces me, and I return his strong hug. He looks so happy, and I’m so glad he’s happy. But I don’t know what the tightness in my heart means. He lets go of me and I instantly miss his warmth. He retrieves something from his desk and rushes back to me, and then he drops down on one knee.
Oh god, this is not happening. Please don’t let this be happening.
"Chloe, I bought this ring before… before everything turned so horrible. I look at it every day, hoping that somehow this will all turn out right. The only way I know for it to be right is toadmit that I love you more than anything in the world. I cannot imagine a future without you in it. So I’m asking you, please… will you marry me?" He looks up at me with sincerity and eagerness, ready to embrace our future together.
The question hangs in the air, and for a moment, I entertain the possibility. Would it be so bad to have this man as my own? To have someone in my life again who loves me? But as I weigh the complexities of our situation, I know I can’t marry him.
"We don't have to get married just because of the baby. We can, you know, co-parent without tying ourselves to a marriage we might not be ready for."
"But Chloe, I love you."
"You’re just saying that because of the baby. I promise, you’ll be a part of his or her life."
"No, I have never felt this way for anyone. A day doesn’t go by without thinking about you. You drive me insane, and I want you. Not just because of our child. I can’t function without you, Chloe. I love you."
He tries to persuade me, professing his love and a genuine desire to be together, but I have to be strong. I can’t look at him without losing all resolve. I must remain firm in my decision, for my sake and his.
"Jeremy, it's not about not wanting to be with you. Things have just been so hectic between us, from the very beginning. I so wish I could believe that we can just move on and be happy together… but it’s just been too difficult. Too much for me. I’m too shaken, I just don’t have trust in you, in us, anymore…" I see the disappointment in his eyes and it’s killing me.
