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"Chloe…"
I shake my head. "I’m sorry, Jeremy, I can’t."
I turn and walk to the door, then say, "I’ll call you this evening. We can talk about the baby. Okay?"
He can only nod mutely, his hands hanging at his sides. There’s no way I can talk to Ella right now, I’m too much of a mess. I barely make it outside before the tears come.
That night, as promised, I dial his number from the safety of my apartment. Somehow, just having these walls around me gives me the strength to keep refusing him. It’s as if I’m incapable of making a good decision with him standing anywhere near me.
"Hello?" he asks, his voice already carrying a slight edge of ice.
"It’s me," I say.
"I know."
"Do you… want to talk about anything? About the baby, I mean." I feel stupid all of a sudden, completely unsure of myself. This is painfully awkward, but I have to press on.
"Certainly," he says simply. Nothing more.
Finally, I just begin filling him in, refusing to let his distant mood wreak havoc on my emotions. We discuss the upcoming months and the role he should have in them. He insists I move in with him so he can provide for me while I’m pregnant. The offer is tempting, but I know myself. There is no way I’ll see Jeremy every day without crumbling.
"I appreciate the offer, but I need my space. We can figure out the logistics once the baby is here.”
"Whatever you want," Jeremy answers robotically. I can already hear his heart hardening.
"I’ll inform you about all the appointments, the delivery date, all of that. I mean, only if you want to come. You don’t have to."
"I’ll be there. Email me the schedule," he says. His voice is businesslike and distant, just like when I worked for him. Tears sting my eyes, but it has to be this way. My silence gives me just enough time to start crying, but the final blow is when headds, "And Chloe? Let’s stick to texting and email from now on. There’s no reason to call."
And then he hangs up.
19
CHLOE
"Damn, you look worse than my dad," Ella says the minute I step outside. I have a prenatal appointment, and she insisted on picking me up. I swore I was fine going alone, but she wouldn't let me. Ella leans casually by the car, staring at me.
The past three weeks have been hell for me, and I spent days thinking about Jeremy. He sends me everything I need to be comfortable. He makes sure I lack nothing except his presence.
I haven’t seen him since the day we agreed to stay apart. He doesn’t even call me. He talks to me through Ella or delivering agents, and it’s so frustrating. I miss him so much. But this is my own doing. I had my reasons for refusing him, and I have to stay strong.
I sigh at Ella's comment. "You really know how to cheer somebody up."
"How are you feeling today?" she asks as we slide in the car and buckle our seatbelts.
I manage a weak smile, grateful for her presence. Had she decided to desert me, too, I would have gone insane.
"I'm okay, just a bit nervous about the appointment."
"It's normal to feel that way. But girl, you look terrible, and I know this has nothing to do with being pregnant." Her perceptive gaze catches the subtle shift in my mood.
"I just have a lot to process, Ella. The decisions I've made and the road ahead—it's overwhelming."
Ella nods in understanding. "Does this decision have anything to do with you rejecting my dad?" I sigh and avoid answering her question.
As we drive towards the doctor’s office, the car filled with contemplative silence, I look out the window, barely seeing the scenery around me. It reminds me of how I first came to this city, riding in a car with Ella and watching all the sights in awe. That Chloe was so excited to start her new life. What happened to her?
Then my thoughts drift to Jeremy. What is he doing? Does he miss me as much as I miss him? Does he think about me? Does he dream about me every night as much as I dream about him? Has he moved on with his life?
