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That particular question squeezes my heart until it feels like it will burst. Maybe he’s realized that I’m not worth loving. Maybe he’s back to frequenting fancy establishments and picking up women, taking them upstairs to his room and–
Nope. We’re not doing this today, I tell myself, my frustration almost painful.
Ella startles me by nudging me. "Can I ask you something, Chloe?"
I glance at her. "Sure. You know you can."
"Why did you refuse my dad's proposal? I mean, it's clear that you're in love with him. Don’t worry, he didn’t send me and I’m not trying to get an answer and report back to him. I’m just genuinely curious. You’re both absolutely miserable. So, what happened?"
Her words cut through my heart. I ask myself this same question every day. And every day, my reasons for rejecting hisproposal seem weaker and weaker, threatening to fade away completely. Right now, I don’t even know what to tell her. I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts.
"It's not that I don't love him, Ella. I do, but... I didn't want to rush into marriage just because of the baby. We're still figuring out this new chapter, and I want to ensure we do it for the right reasons."
Ella listens, her eyes focused on the road ahead.
"But what if thisisthe right reason? People get married all the time just because they want to, or just because they’re afraid of getting old and being alone. What better reason than a baby? I mean, you and I both lost a parent while we were growing up. You because your dad died, and me because I never had one. Are you really going to do that to your baby just because you don’t want to rush?"
I’m quiet, stunned by her view of things. She’s right, of course. Even when my dad was alive, it was like he was my only parent. And Ella only found her dad after losing her mom. Neither of us ever had a loving home with two parents, no matter who they were.
"I don’t know," I confess, looking down at my hands. Is it my imagination, or are they already a little more in front of me than usual? Is this really the start of a baby bump?
"Don’t get me wrong. I swear I’m not just cheering for Team Marriage. But what if you two are meant to be together, and this is how fate decided to make it happen?" Ella continues.
I look at her pleadingly without answering her question. The truth is I don’t have an answer. All I have is this feeling, and it’s getting weaker every hour of the day.
As she pulls into a parking spot at the doctor’s office, I see Jeremy coming out of his car. It’s as if the world is moving in slow motion, and everything else fades away except for him. I can’t take my eyes off him even as Ella parks the car.
"I think I just got the answer to my question," Ella says softly before stepping out of the car. I hear her, but my eyes are fixed on Jeremy.
He looks effortlessly handsome in jeans and a polo. Emotions spiral within me, a kaleidoscope of feelings that I struggle to contain.
His eyes meet mine, and for an instant, the world contracts into the shared space between us. In that moment, the history we've written together, the love, the struggles, the unspoken connections, play out like a vivid memory.
But just as quickly as the connection is made, Jeremy averts his eyes, a subtle shift in his posture as he walks into the office, letting the door close behind him. My heart shatters soundlessly. Ella glances at me, sensing the emotional turbulence.
"Chloe, are you okay?"
I tear my gaze away from the door, giving her a weak smile. "Yeah, just nerves. Let's go."
We walk across the parking lot, the first cool breeze of autumn making me shiver. Or is it my emotions? Ella links her arm through mine and squeezes it.
"I didn’t know Jeremy was going to be here. He didn’t reply to my message," I tell her.
"He wouldn’t miss this for anything. You know what? Both of you have to stop tormenting each other. You both look miserable."
"He doesn’t look miserable. If anything, he looks as dashing as ever." Ella smiles at me sheepishly, but I frown in confusion. "What? What’s with the smile?"
"Me? Nothing, let’s go."
The interior of the office feels sterile and unwelcoming as I approach Jeremy. I offer a polite greeting, but he nods in response without a glance my way, his attention absorbed by his phone.
The casual dismissal stings, echoing loudly in the lobby.
I glance at Ella, who meets my eyes with an apologetic look, anticipating the silent turmoil brewing within me. She squeezes my hand gently in understanding, and I nod. The nurse calls my name, and then guides us to the exam room. As we walk, Jeremy avoids eye contact, intensifying the ache in my chest. Ella doesn’t follow us, and I wish she would.
In the room, the doctor goes through the routine check-up, explaining where things are with the baby's growth and my health. The doctor’s voice becomes a distant hum as I grapple with the emotional distance between Jeremy and me. I steal a glance at him, but his eyes remain fixed on the doctor, or on his phone.
The nurse informs us of the next appointment, and Jeremy only mutters a curt "thank you." I stand up and leave the room while I follow behind. He says something to Ella and then walks out the door.
