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“Thanks. Totally forgot.”
She just nods. She knows my head is messed up right now. I quickly peel away the formal uniform, pull on joggers and a T-shirt, then tie my hair back into a ponytail. We leave the room together and end up early for breakfast.
I pour a bowl of cereal and chew it idly.
My mind keeps drifting back to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. What a weird location. It’s obvious that my head conjured the image, because Cyrus doesn’t even know what a rollercoaster is, so somehow, I brought Cyrus into my dream.
As Laila talks about how we should go to see Octavia Pax at some point today, I’m pushing beyond the beach, searching for that dark room. But Cyrus is pushing back, trying to keep me out.
It’s not fair. You were in my mind for hours at a time. Now you won’t let me in,I tell him.
“Did you also resurrect a zombie?” Laila asks. “As in… yourself. Are you actually a zombie? Because you look like one.”
I try to smile. “Sorry. Tired. Last night was weird. What were you saying?”
“I was saying that last night was weird,” she says. “You looked so hurt the whole time we were in the crypts.”
“I know it’s stupid, but I didn’t think he’d lie to me.” I poke at my cereal with my spoon. “Like I said. Stupid.”
Laila shakes her head, frowning. “I wouldn’t say that.”
She’s being too nice to me, and it’s making me want to cry. “I’ve fucked up so badly. Now I’ve got to tell Octaviaeverything, and I’m completely screwed. Does anyone ever get expelled?”
Laila stares down at the toast in front of her. “It has happened. Not often, only when someone does something… hateful… against the school.”
I lower my voice. “Like resurrect an enemy of the school?”
“You didn’t mean to do that, Kira.”
“But then I chose to keep it asecret. I’m so flipping screwed. No one has ever been this screwed. I’m going to die.”
“No, you’re not.” Laila sighs. “Look, someone else let those other vampires out, right? So whattheydid is way worse and intentional. Plus, he fed on you. He had a way to manipulate you.”
I squirm in my seat. I hate the thought of Cyrus doing that to me. Manipulating me. Pretending to be someone he isn’t. Using his love-bombing, euphoric blood-ritual shit on me.
An ache penetrates me with such force that I feel it stab straight through the bond and into him. He’s lying down somewhere, alone, in a dark room, and the pain that bounces back to me matches my own.
Kira.
I stand. It’s like an electrical bolt has shot through my limbs and I have to move or I’ll go crazy. Then my heart pounds, hard, like he’s sucking the blood from my veins.
Laila stares at me, her mouth open. A few people sitting around us also turn to stare at me. Slowly, I sit back down. My cheeks warm, and I try to focus on eating my cereal rather than having some sort of meltdown.
Laila’s brows knit together. “Are you okay?”
“Leg cramp,” I say, hoping the lie sounds better to her ears than mine.
The bell rings, and we all get up to leave. I’m dreading our self-defence class without Cyrus in my ear telling me to keep my elbow up or dodge to the left.
But I finally got through to him! I saw him, and the best part is that I think Cyrus lowered his barriers on purpose, because he wanted me. I felt his pain. I felt an ache as deep as mine.
A longing for me that matches the longing I feel for him.
Laila continues to watch me out of the corner of her eye. I give her a smile, hoping to stop her from worrying. I’m probably pale and sweaty right now, because my thoughts and my emotions are all in turmoil like I’ve been transformed into a whirlwind.
I’m kidding myself. If Cyrus let me in, it’s because he wants to manipulate me again. Maybe he overheard my thoughts about telling Octavia.
The truth is that Cyrus lied to me. He pretended to like me in order to use me.
