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“I need to find Ross and Mia. They’re probably wondering where I am.” She pulled her phone from her bag and attempted to text before fumbling and dropping the hot dog toy to the ground. “Shit.”
Sam bent to retrieve it, holding the toy out to her.
“Thank you.” She avoided eye contact, her voice slight. “On second thought, maybe you should give it to Zabe. She’d probably really like it.”
“I’m sorry.”
Her eyes finally flicked in his direction for a moment, but he caught a glossy shine in them. “What for?”
“For the kiss.” Because it was clear she’d never claim him as anyone other thanjusther landlord.
She gave a sniff. “Oh, that.” Luna returned her attention to the phone as though they had been talking about ancient history. She cleared her throat, her words coming stronger, colder. “Whatever. I hope your curiosity was met.”
“Yeah, same to you.”
It was as though a light switch had flicked, and Luna’s old attitude seeped to the surface. She wasn’t looking at him but he caught her rolling her eyes. “Well, it’s not like I even really kissed you.”
His forehead drew together in confusion. “What?”
“I didn’t kiss you back because you’re not someone who I would kiss.”
“Ah, yes, clearly. So, that was just my imagination then?” He didn’t know what upside-down world he’d found himself in, whether she truly regretted the kiss, or it had something to do with her friend, or if she was a snob and was embarrassed. Maybe it was possible all three things were true.
But even if Luna was out of his league, and she certainly was, he refused to pretend it didn’t happen at all. Shehadkissed him. If she regretted everything, that was her problem. Until this moment, he hadn’t regretted any of it. In fact, he had hoped to kiss her again.
“I have no idea what you imagined. I just know I wouldn’t kiss you back.” She didn’t even have the decency to make eye contact, stroking his irritation.
“I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I know when I’ve been kissed, and you were a full participant. In fact, I think you really liked it. But, for whatever reason, you can’t accept it and it’s short-circuiting your brain.”
“Excuse me?” A fiery gaze hit him.
“You heard me. I bet if I pull you into my arms right now, you’d kiss me again.” Not that Sam was going to try. Judging by her current expression, there was an equal chance she’d bite his nose clean off his face, but he was so annoyed at this point, he wanted to make her angry in return.
She stepped closer, her finger jabbing his chest. “I didn’t kiss you then and I will never kiss you. I have standards—”
“Screw your standards.”
Luna looked him dead in the eye, the gaze completely absent of any mischief or humor. A cold chill spread through his internal organs as though they sensed that this particular expression preceded something bad with her. “Look, pal, you could win the lottery tomorrow, buy a mansion, an expensive sports car, get the best haircut money could buy and, even then, you still won’t meet my bare-minimum standards. You wanna know why? It’s because I know your history. I know about the accident and that your drunk driving killed your own brother. And there isn’t anything you can do in your life that will ever change that. That is why nothing will ever happen between us and why I wouldneverkiss you.”
Sam stood there, unblinking, and took it.
He took every word of vitriol as though she was a dragon incinerating him to bone and ash from the firestorm pouring from her mouth.
He took it because he didn’t deserve kisses, or to have a speck of light in his life, or to have someone see him as anything other than the bad person he was.
And the price one paid for taking a small moment of pretending otherwise? Absolute incineration.
Chapter Eighteen
Because Luna stillspent a lot of time working the sales floor at the jewelry store, covering when Aanya wasn’t there, it gave her a lot of time to think. She hated that it was slow, because then she had to reflect on what happened the day before at the fairgrounds. Her reaction to a lot of things wasn’t something she was particularly proud of.
She’d learned a long time ago to hold a little bit of herself back. Never give someone a hundred percent. People may say they wanted honesty, but they rarely wanted the brutal variety. Her brutal honesty was instead kept locked in her skull most of the time, a place where it couldn’t get her into trouble. Because when Luna removed an arrow from her quiver, she couldn’t help but aim straight for the center of someone’s heart.
Honesty: Viggo had, at most, eighty percent of Luna.
Brutal honesty: Eighty percent had been wasted on him. Besides his looks, there’d been nothing special about him, but Luna wanted, more than believed, that there had been something lasting between them. When he’d accepted a new job near San Francisco, she’d gone house hunting in Alameda with him, letting her excitement at finally having a dream house overtake everything else. She’d made it out of her small childhood home, gotten her gorgeous green door, had a successful boyfriend. It was everything she wanted.
But she’d been wrong about him. When she talked about whether they should get a moving truck, he’d laugh. Turned out, he only wanted her designing eye. He was moving on without her. Luna was fun to have around but she wasn’t an Alameda girlfriend type. He needed a clean start, one that didn’t include her, which felt like history repeating itself.
