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By the time I make it to my brother’s lifeless body, my heart feels like it will never beat again.
3
AVERY
Hiding out—that’s exactly what I find myself doing after Remy leaves with Carter Matthews, leaving me to deal with the mess I’ve been trying to run from. I sneak around the camp and down to the dock when the people left are distracted.
Damn, I hadn’t recognized Carter at first. He used to be cute, yeah. Except now, I want to throw my underwear at him even when he tries to arrest me. Then again, he’s always been the town’s golden boy. Football ran through his veins, and he’d always been in great shape. More than once, I’ve stared at his ass in uniform while watching the team play during games.
Now though, he really is panty-melting. Even in the middle of the chaos and destruction I’d caused, I wanted to throw myself at him. Idly, I think about him and the crush I’d had on him even way back then. Last I heard, he’d been drafted into the NFL. As I avoid all my problems, I wonder what would bring him back to Birch Harbor. Not just that, but what would have him putting on the blue uniform of a police officer.
I hear Karen yelling at Deacon from my hiding spot on the far end of the dock, dragging me out of my thoughts and back to reality. She sounds beyond pissed, making me feel better. At least something good has come from my scene. The smile on my face in the reflection of the pond can’t be more out of place mixed with the desolation coursing through my bones. When everything else falls away, the only strains of noise that reach my ears are the faded sounds of music in the distance.
While I sit there, knees pulled up to my chest and my forehead pressed against them, I finally let the tears fall. Even after the chaos and destruction fades, my heart still races against my chest. My head throbs with the feeling of needles stabbing themselves into my skin with every passing second. The small breeze picking up off the pond doesn’t do much to ease the turmoil raging through my veins.
I fucked up. Again. As the tears continue to trickle down my cheeks, the aches and pains from my encounter with Leroy grow until I can’t ignore them. My knuckles sting; they’ll be a constant reminder of my stupidity over the next week. The adrenaline that kept me from breaking down before vanishes, and, in its place, regret flourishes. Regret that I’ve most likely ruined my career as a teacher.
That isn’t even the worst part about the whole thing. Nope, that honor belongs to the fact that I lost control. Yes, Leroy grabbed me, threatened to kill me, and I’d completely lost it. One hit to his throat is all it’d taken to get him on his knees. From there, all I had to do was use my momentum and the badass right hook my brother made sure I grew up with. After that, everything became a blur. The unmistakable crack of his nose breaking hadn’t even been enough to drag me out of my rage-filled stupor.
“You really screwed the pooch on this one.”
Luckily, there isn’t anyone around to hear me talking to myself. Although, with the way my life has been going lately, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least.
I unfold myself and lie back, closing my eyes and silently absorbing the warmth from the fading sun. Fresh air blows across my skin, giving me goosebumps, and, with my eyes still closed, I run my hands up and down my arms before putting them behind my head. Peace seeps into every single one of my pores, until all the tension from earlier vanishes in the same way the adrenaline had.
Occasionally, the creaking of the dock as it shifts in the water disturbs my silence, but as I start to drift off, even that fades until I can’t hear it.
“Dad told her to leave.” Rett plops down next to me out of nowhere.
My heart jumps, and it takes every muscle in my body to keep from jumping up and falling off the dock in surprise.
“Go away…” I mutter despondently with my eyes closed. “I’m hiding.”
For a six year old, Rett is way too observant for my liking. I almost tell him that, too. Instead, I keep it to myself.
“No,” he answers before lying down next to me and curling into my side. “Mrs. Zucker didn’t like it and called him a bad word.” He rolls his eyes and leans against my shoulder. “But Dad said she had to go. That no one ever got away with treating you like that in his world. She yelled a lot, though. It was funny.”
I wrap my arms around the boy that has grown into too much a little man for my comfort. Silently, I send a prayer to whoever is listening to keep him young, just a little longer. Someday, the world will chew him up and spit him out, and my heart aches with the thought that he’ll lose any of his innocence.
“I’m sorry I ruined your birthday, buddy. I didn’t mean to cause trouble.” Apologizing to him hits me in the gut. Of course, during the moment, I hadn’t thought about ruining Rett’s birthday. After, though, I felt like a complete jackass.
Rett sighs, a lot like the world hangs around his neck, reminding me of the way his dad looks when something bothers him. He presses a soft kiss to my cheek and then punches me in the arm.
“A kiss because you’re sad. And a punch because you’re acting like a baby.”
I open one eye and glare at him with my best teacher look, but he isn’t even watching me. Rett is staring at my hands with the strangest expression on his face.
“You didn’t ruin his party.” I turn and roll my eyes when I see Deacon standing there, looking like the world’s least-scary biker. “He’s gonna have a legendary reputation by the time he goes back to school tomorrow.” He crosses his arms over his chest and stares at me pointedly. “I can’t say the same for you, though.”
Rett moves over so that his dad can sit on the dock with me, his leather vest stretched taut across his shoulders when he pushes between me and his son.
“You don’t know that.” I sit up and lean against my big brother’s shoulder. “I’m probably gonna get fired.”
“So what?” Deacon laughs shortly. “You were defending yourself. If they fire you over something ridiculous like that, they don’t deserve you. That school’s bullshit anyways. Do you remember the time Mr. Rosen tried to fail you in fifth grade, because you forgot your homework? I thought Mom was gonna beat his ass.”
“Mr. Rosen sucked,” I sniffle.
“I’m gonna go clean up.” Deacon shoves off the dock a moment later, unable to take the quiet. “Stay around. I’ll have one of the guys take you home.”
