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She bit her bottom lip as something popped into her head. “We can’t do it.”
He grinned. “You have to let me know what it is first, honey.”
“No. I mean, it’s too late.”
“Too late for what?”
She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. “Meeting in a bar and…not telling each other our names.”
He nodded. “Sex with a stranger. It’s common. Especially for women.”
“Why?” she asked. “Why is it common?”
“No judgment. You won’t see him again, so who cares what you do?”
Abby blushed as she thought about the many, many times she’d thought about that scenario. She’d go to the bathroom, and come out and he’d be waiting. He’d push her back inside and rip off her panties. No one would know. It was safe because there were people outside the door. But it was also naughty because there were people outside the door.
But in her fantasy she was never in danger. She never got punched or choked or hurt. “I don’t fantasize about men hitting me,” she said firmly.
“Good because I would never hit you, Abby. And if you wanted that, we would be incompatible.”
“I don’t know much about this,” she admitted. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Okay. We’ll start with the basics. Oral? With a condom, of course.”
Abby’s eyebrows furrowed.
“What?” he asked.
“I’ve never done it with a condom. But then they were always my boyfriends, so…”
Christ. She was negotiating safe, kinky sex with a guy who was not her boyfriend. Could you have safe, kinky sex? Wasn’t that a contradiction in terms? She glazed over the not-her- boyfriend part, choosing not to dwell.
“Anyway,” he said, “it should be off the table, since I can’t do it for you.”
“You can’t?” She had to admit that hearing him say it out loud was a little disappointing.
He glanced at her. “I don’t know you that well, Abby, and we can’t exchange fluids without a medical exam.”
“Oh,” she said, feeling stupid. “Right. Exactly. So, there’s sex. But we already did that. So, I think we’re in the clear. We should just eat the rest of this and I’ll go home and-”
“No,” he said firmly and she immediately quieted. “There’s more to sex than just sex. Have you ever let a man tie you up?”
“No,” she said a little too loudly. “I said no chains.”
Mark smiled. “Abby you have a very narrow view of BDSM. Stop picturing crying women and torture. Did you cry when we had sex?”
“No,” she admitted.
“Did I torture you?”
“No.”
“Okay, so stop letting your imagination run away with you.”
“But I don’t know what to imagine!” she told him. “I’ve never done it.”
“We’ll start with bondage,” he informed. “Something light and easy.”
“What if I don’t like it?”
“Then you have a safeword.”
“A what?”
“A safeword. A word that you say to stop everything. If you get upset or too scared or something’s bothering you, you say the safeword and we stop. For us, your safeword will be ‘cantelope’.”
She stared at him. “Cantelope,” she repeated.
He nodded. “It’s a strange word, out of context. Couldn’t be mistaken for anything else. You say it, I stop.”
Abby continued to look at Mark. She set the container of Shrimp Fried Rice down on the table. “Mark.”
He looked at her, eyebrows raised.
“That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my life!” she nearly shouted. “A word? A safe word? What the fuck about it is safe, Mark? It’s a word! Is it a magic fucking word? Do the chains suddenly fall off and I get whisked away to my own bedroom on a magic, fucking carpet? What the fuck is safe about a word?!”
Mark stared at her for so long she sank back into the couch. “What?” she asked finally. “I’m just supposed to accept that?”
His face broke out into a smile. “No. You’re not. You’re the first woman to ever understand what a stupid concept that can be. I’m proud of you for calling me out about it.”
He was so far from offended at Abby’s outburst that she couldn’t help but laugh.
“But you know me, Abby. We’re friends. And you set up your safe call. I won’t tiptoe around the elephant in the room and not admit that once you’re tied up, I could hurt you for quite a while before your friend knows there’s a problem. I know it’s something you’ve at least considered, or you wouldn’t have called her in the first place.”
He put a hand on her knee. “This is the scary part, Abby. The part where you have to decide whether to trust me or not. But you do know me. You’ve been alone with me a few times. Your weirdo radar never went off and nothing bad happened to you.”
She frowned. “I’m scared.”
“I know. But the question is can you trust me enough to set it aside? I’ll talk you through everything. I’ll explain it all as we go. I’ll show you what I’m going to do and you’ll still have time to decide.”
