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“Is she in pain?”
“We don’t believe so, but her other organs will begin to fail soon.”
“Where do we go from here doctor?”
“I’m sorry to say this but with the amount of damage caused there’s nothing more we can do.”
“Which means?” I ask sounding irritated.
“Ending her life support and allowing your grandmother to pass in peace,” she says placing her warm hands on my cold ones.
“I’m so sorry Caleb. Is there anyone you would like me to call?”
I shake my head.
“It was only just the two of us left.”
“Would you like a minute before I take you to her?” the doctor quietly asks.
“I don’t need a minute. I don’t want her left on her own for a second longer.”
After quickly filling in Suzie I follow the doctor, taking a deep breath before entering the room. A nurse is by nanna’s bedside connecting a bag of clear liquid to a hook above the bed.
Machines bleep all around her.
“I’m here nanna,” I say taking the seat next to her placing her thin hand in mine. A large bruise marks the left side of her face from were she must have hit her head when she fell.
The only movement she makes is in the slight expansion of her chest from the air that being pushes into it from the ventilator machine.
Doctor Matterson places her hand on my shoulder.
“Take all the time you need Caleb. Only you will know when you’re ready to say goodbye.”
I nod trying to hold back the tears I know are close to falling.
“We’ll be right outside if you need us,” she says walking out the door followed by the nurse who gently closes it behind her.
I sit there for the longest time holding her frail hand in mine until I can muster up the strength to speak.
“I never thought anything could ever cause me this pain since the day I buried mom and dad. But this, the pain I feel right now saying goodbye to you feels so much worse. I don’t think I can do this without you.” I cry as the tears come thick and heavy.
“You’re the reason I tried to be better. It was all for you nanna. You were selfless right to the end. I Wish I knew when I heard your voice welcoming me home, that it would have been the last time.“ I pause my voice breaking along with my heart.
“Caleb.” I hear a softly spoken voice call my name.
I look up see Suzie her standing in the doorway, her eyes brimming with tears.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you but is it okay if I sit with you to say my goodbyes.”
I clear my throat and nod. “She would have wanted you to be here with her.”
Walking over to nanna she brushes some hair away from her eyes then takes the seat beside her.
“You were her whole heart, Caleb. You brought her so much joy in a world that should have been filled with pain and suffering after the passing of your mother and grandfather. She lived only for you.”
“I know.” I say pausing. “I can’t bare the thought of her being in pain.”
“She looks peaceful. She’s not in any pain.”
