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She walked the stage. “Is everyone required to do this?”
“No. Only those who choose it.”
She turned her head to look at him. “You chose it.”
He nodded, watching her move. “I wanted to learn. Sex isn’t taboo for us in Elcadia. It’s a part of life, another function of our bodies, albeit a pleasurable one. And I wanted to know about myself, about what I wanted, how to communicate with a partner. How to please them.”
“Did you get to choose your partner, in the Order?”
He shook his head. “They are assigned, but only after time spent learning with the Order. This is only after study and observation.”
“Were you nervous?”
“Of course.” He smiled. “Afraid I might not get things working properly.”
She smiled in return. “Did everything work properly?”
“Quickly.” He laughed.
She blushed but laughed with him. “I don’t think I could do it.”
“What would stop you?”
“Besides the thought of others watching? I need to feel something for my partner.” She pressed her fingertips over her heart, and her eyes lifted to his. A connection sizzled between them, gripping him so hard he nearly grunted with its power. “You’re an excellent kisser, Lucian.”
His belly bottomed out, and his balls tightened. Fuck. “Come. Let’s go somewhere else. We have to talk–”
“Wait,” she said. Her chest rose and fell in rapid bursts as she moved to him. “If I chose, I would choose you. And I’d like that, right now. To choose you. I want to experience this with you,” she said, a blush blooming across her cheeks.
“Even if this is real between us, more than a dream?” he asked.
“Yes, Lucian.” She swallowed.
“With me?” He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t believe it and wanted to kick himself for questioning.
She made a frustrated noise and grasped at his waistband. “Truthfully, Lucian, our sex-dream wasn’t my first with you. I’ve fantasized about you every night since I met you.”
“You have?” Another surprise, though he’d had so many about her. He understood now.
She nodded and slid her hands up his chest. “I want it to be real. And what if–”
“Don’t say it, Brin. Please. Not that.”
Her body flashed for a moment, flickering into nothing, then returned. He’d seen it before—when he’d first returned to the dream. In the woods.
He grasped her face between his hands. “What was that? What just happened to you.”
She stepped away and tilted her face to look into his. “I don’t know how much time I have.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Fear—but not for himself—hit him in the chest.
“The deep gray sleep is tugging on me. I don’t know how long this Dream Walking is going to last, Lucian.”
She was waiting for him to say something, but his heart was in his throat with all the things he needed to say. What he’d learned with Nix and Lexa about her descendants, maybe her mother. That he was pretty sure they were god-yoked. But what would she say? How would she feel? She might want to have a sexual experience with him, but was it because of him or because of the circumstances? Did he care?
“We have now,” she said.
And he realized it didn’t matter. He wanted to be with her. She wanted to be with him. The future wasn’t a guarantee, but they had this. Now.
