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‘Not being able to predict the future, most of us live with that.’ Forrest looks bemused. ‘Imagine if we could, though…’ He’s silent for a moment. ‘Would we change anything? If we knew how long we had, for instance?’
‘Some of us might.’ I’m uneasy all of a sudden. ‘Do you know what’s even more weird?’ I hesitate. ‘I mean, when I barely know you, especially after meeting the way we did, I have absolutely no idea why I’m telling you all this.’
But it doesn’t feel like that. It’s like we’ve known each other forever. As Forrest gazes at me, I want him to hold me, to kiss me again; to never let me go. It’s as if he reads my mind as he takesone of my hands, slowly pulling me towards him. Then his lips are on mine as he kisses me.
After, he pulls away slightly, his eyes still on mine. ‘About your tattoo…’ He seems hesitant. ‘There’s something about it. I mean, I like it. It’s unusual. I’ve only seen one other like it.’ Studying it again, he frowns slightly. ‘Actually, I’m not sure why I said that. I’m not even sure if the other was real or not.’
I shake my head. ‘You’ve lost me.’
‘I’m not surprised.’ He looks distracted. ‘I’m not sure what to make of it myself.’
I stare at him. ‘Of what?’ This is getting weirder by the minute.
His eyes linger on my tattoo, before he looks up at me. ‘If I tell you, you’ll think I’m mad – as well as an arsehole,’ he tries to joke.
‘I don’t think that,’ I say quickly. ‘Not any more.’
‘OK.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘It goes back to the night of the crash. It was snowing when it happened. After, when I came around, I had what I can only describe as a flashback. But I distinctly remember it was summer. The taxi wasn’t there. Instead, there was a Mini.’ He hesitates. ‘I can still picture it. The front was buckled and the windscreen smashed. It was a wreck.’ His face turns pale. ‘There was someone inside. Her name was Lori. Don’t ask me how I know that. I’ve never known a Lori. The sun was shining through the trees and the birds were singing… A car pulled over, presumably to help. As I stood there, I felt dizzy. Then seconds later, everything went black.’ He pauses. ‘When I opened my eyes again, I was sitting in the snow staring at the taxi.’ He gazes at me. ‘Pick the bones out of that.’
I’ve no idea what to make of it. It’s deeply, freakishly weird. Not wanting to worry him, I play it down. ‘Maybe it was the trauma of the accident,’ I say. ‘I don’t think you’re crazy, by the way.’
‘No? Because I’m starting to think I am.’ His words are heartfelt.
‘You were in an accident. You could have banged your head and it caused you to hallucinate or something,’ I say, frowning suddenly. ‘Anyway, what does this have to do with my tattoo?’
‘I haven’t got to that bit.’ He looks evasive. ‘The thing is, it’s happened more than once.’
My eyes widen. ‘Tell me.’
Leaning forward, he clasps his hands together. ‘I keep seeing these images. Of the Mini. Of long denim-clad legs bent up under a steering wheel, which believe it or not, I’m sure are mine. There’s music – “Hey Jude”, by the Beatles – coming from a little radio wedged into the dashboard. I’m feeling this incredible sense of happiness, as if my mind is exploding with joy – and believe me, these are not things I’ve ever felt. It’s like I remember losing control and fighting to stop the car spinning. Then how the crash felt. Here.’ He presses a hand against his stomach. ‘There was a scream that came from beside me.’ His eyes are locked on mine. ‘I remember long chestnut hair; and I know all of this is weird, but this is the weirdest. The girl had a tattoo on her wrist, the same as yours. The Eye of Horus.’
A chill comes over me. ‘You’re talking like this actually happened to you.’
‘It feels like it happened to me. I remember the girl’s face. When I picture her, I get this feeling that I loved her with all my heart…’
I try to make sense of what he’s saying. ‘This is Lori?’
He nods. ‘But I’ve never driven a Mini – and I’ve never known a Lori. It’s like a really odd dream – or I’m remembering something that had happened to someone else.’
I gaze at him, suddenly worried. ‘Did they check you out at the hospital?’
‘I think so.’ He looks confused. ‘I remember the ambulance arriving. But not a lot after that.’
I try to reassure him again. ‘It must be the trauma of the accident. It wouldn’t be surprising, would it? After the crash?’
He shrugs. ‘Still think I’m not mad?’ he jokes.
‘No more than most of us,’ I say airily, trying to hide the uneasiness I feel.
While I wait for the day of my scan to arrive, my imagination runs haywire and the minutiae of work seem utterly pointless. When I’m not at the hotel, I shut myself away from everyone – with the exception of Rae, that is, grateful for our friendship, for her optimism.
‘There’s no point in imagining the worst,’ she says. ‘Not until you know more. You’re probably right. You’ve sprained something in your leg. This time next week, fingers crossed, this will all be behind you.’
I nod, trying to smile, hiding the instinct I have that far from being nearly over, this is just starting.
Trying to distract myself, I change the subject. ‘I saw Forrest again – the lawyer guy.’
‘And?’ Her eyes are round.
