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‘This is Jack – he works here.’ Rae’s cheeks are flushed.
An expression of disbelief crosses Birdy’s face as she looks at me. ‘This is so weird. I mean, you’re Sienna’s gran’s neighbour.’
‘And you’re Sienna’s friend.’ Jack had caught a glimpse of her once or twice. ‘Nice to meet you – er, properly.’
‘You, too.’ There’s amusement in her eyes. ‘Don’t worry about Sienna, by the way. She’s going away soon.’
‘Is she?’ I feel a flicker of relief.
Rae looks at me, bemused. ‘Is there something I don’t know?’
‘You know I told you Sienna had a crush? It was on Jack. How is she?’ Standing next to Marnie’s bed, Birdy’s face clouds over. ‘I was really hoping to talk to her.’
‘Hang around. She may wake up.’ I stand up. ‘Come and keep your sister company. I’ll go and find a vase for those flowers.’
I come back in time to see Marnie’s eyes open, to watch the exchange between the three of them; the love that’s so apparent. The way Marnie’s eyes hold Birdy’s, as though there’s something they share. Like Rae, I wonder where Forrest is. But these last days can be too much for some people. And it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.
Placing the vase on the side, I leave them alone. But as I walk away, the image stays with me, one of those brief moments crystallising that only one thing is important. And that’s love.
35
RAE
These are days like I’ve never experienced before – where life is drawn into needle-sharp focus, the subtlest of moments defined by the finest pen: each breath, her hair that’s multiple shades of brown, the smallest gestures of devotion; the look in Marnie’s eyes when they open, of sadness, gratitude, love.
As her days draw to a close, I realise none of our futures are certain. But it isn’t fear it triggers. Instead, I feel it galvanise something in me. Maybe this is a turning point from which I truly live my life; inhabit each moment, feel grateful for each new day. See it as the gift it is, see the beauty of it, rather than dwell in the sadness of the past.
Without everything that’s happened in my life, I wouldn’t have reached this point, but that, I’m discovering, is the beauty of this life, each episode changing us, shifting us in new directions. As for what’s next for me, I have a multitude of roads to choose from; maybe love, if I’m brave enough. But I have to be brave. In this glorious, expansive universe, isn’t that the point?
Isn’t it the point, too, that none of us knows what lies beyond this life? As the end comes near, I wonder if the veil has lifted, if Marnie can see beyond it as her breaths draw out, slowing,becoming shallow, Birdy and I holding her hands as she slips peacefully away from this world.
36
JACK
A few hours after Marnie dies, Tilly comes hurrying in. ‘One of the gardeners has found a body.’ She looks flustered. ‘I’m just going to call the police.’
I frown. ‘Where was it found?’
‘Some way into the woods – not far from the main road. They went to clear a tree that’s fallen.’ She frowns. ‘They said it looks as though he’s been there some time. I can’t believe no-one noticed.’
Pulling on a coat, I go outside. Overnight, the mist has settled, an impenetrable layer that will probably remain all day, blocking out the sunlight. As I walk across the gardens, the air is heavy with silence. Walking around the lake, I take a path towards the woods.
Through the trees, I see one of the gardeners. Heading towards him, I stop when I see the body in front of him.
‘Been here a while, hasn’t he?’ the gardener says quietly. ‘Poor sod. You’d think someone would have missed him.’
As I know too well, not everyone has someone. Reaching down, I stop. But as I feel in his jacket pockets for some meansof identifying him, the strangest feeling comes over me as I read the name on a credit card.
It’s Forrest.
37
RAE
With Marnie gone, there’s a time of grieving, followed by adjustment, after which life goes on – seemingly the same. But only on the surface. Underneath, our lives are forever changed.
Mine goes on quietly, the same customers coming into my shop, but these days I close on Mondays, when Jack and I help out at the animal sanctuary his goats came from, as Freya and I become friends.
