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Sarah gasps. ‘Are you sure? Absolutely sure?’
‘Yes! I saw them!’ Ivy stamps her foot, her face turning red.
‘I’m sorry,’ Sarah mouths to me before addressing Ivy. ‘Did Grandma see them too?’
Ivy shrugs. ‘Can I have breakfast, please?’
‘It’s okay,’ I say, even though I’m desperate for answers. ‘Don’t push her.’
‘Let me call Mum now,’ Sarah says. ‘Maybe she can shed some light on this.’
While Sarah makes the call, I get the girls’ breakfast ready.
When Sarah comes back, we huddle by the back door, and talk in low whispers.
‘Mum says she can’t remember Ivy recognising anyone, and she’s sure she’d remember that. Sorry, that doesn’t really help, does it? All I can think is that it must have been someone who looks like Max.’ Her eyes widen. ‘Do you think I need to tell the police? Is it relevant that my daughter thinks she saw Alice Hughes at Brent Cross a few weeks before she was found dead?’ She pulls out her phone and I stifle a yell. ‘Let me just check what day it must have been.’ She scrolls through her phone calendar. ‘Oh, here. It was Sunday, two weeks ago. I got called in to cover and had to get Mum to look after Ivy. She wasn’t too happy about it as she’d planned a day out shopping.’
Max had gone into the office that Sunday. He’d told me he needed to be at the office to work on an important presentation for a client. Something he couldn’t do at home, he’d insisted, where Poppy had been running around the house. ‘It definitely wasn’t Max,’ I tell Sarah. I can’t have her suspecting Max, not until I’ve found out for myself. ‘He was at home all day.’
‘There you go, then. Problem solved. It definitely wasn’t Max who Ivy saw. Good. Not that I thought for one second Ivy was right. I have no idea where she gets this stuff from. Sorry. You don’t need this on top of what’s happened to Max.’ She places a hand on my arm. ‘What can I do? Anything, just let me know.’
‘Thanks. I’m sorry he shouted at Ivy. He’s been under a lot of pressure with work.’ I take a deep breath. ‘And now I don’t know what’s going to happen to him. Will he still be able to do his job?’
Sarah pushes my cup of coffee towards me. ‘I wish I could answer that, but we’ll have to see how he goes. It will take time. He might have to relearn things. I know that seems scary. But I’m here. I can help.’ She hugs me again. ‘It’s funny, isn’t it? Usually it’s me coming to you for help. I don’t think you’ve ever needed me for anything major. Is it bad that I’m actually glad I can help you for a change?’
‘I understand,’ I say. I glance at my coffee and realise I can’t stomach anything, even a drink.
‘You’ll work it all out, though,’ Sarah says. ‘Most likely without any help from me. You always do. Somehow you always find a way.’
Only this time there might not be a way out.
I study her face, her kind eyes, always ready to do anything for me, as I am for her. ‘Sarah, there’s something?—’
A cereal bowl crashes to the floor and Ivy bursts into tears. ‘I didn’t mean to!’ she shrieks. ‘It just fell.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Sarah says, rushing to her side. ‘Come on, let’s clean it up.’
‘CanIdo it?’ Ivy asks.
Sarah wets a dish cloth and hands it to her daughter, watching as Ivy mops up the milk.
‘What was it you were saying?’ Sarah asks.
‘Oh, nothing important. Another time.’ The urge to confess all to her has withered away.
‘Actually, there’s something I wanted to tell you.’ Sarah pulls me away from the table, lowering her voice. ‘I’ve been thinking I might try to contact Dean.’
Her comment is so unexpected that it takes me a moment to register what she’s just said. ‘Dean? Is that a good idea? Why now?’
‘I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Ivy’s five now and she’s never even seen him. What if she needs a father figure in her life? It’s been over five years since we last spoke, and he might have changed. He might want to be in her life now. What if he’s divorced? His marriage was a mess anyway.’ She sucks in her breath. I know it’s hard for Sarah to talk about; it almost destroyed her when she realised she’d been sleeping with a married man.
‘Then he knows where to find you. And how can you ever trust him?’ I think of Max as I say this, and I know my viewpoint has been skewed. I’m not in a position to give any meaningful advice to Sarah. ‘Oh, I don’t know. Maybe we need to follow our instinct. Or our hearts. I have no idea if I’m ever doing the right thing.’ I pause. ‘If you think it’s the right thing to do, then I’ll support you.’
‘I’m sorry, Han. Listen to me going on and on about my issues when you’ve got so much to deal with. I’ll sort it.’ She smiles. ‘But if I’ve learnt anything from being your friend, it’s that we get through stuff, don’t we? To hell and back – right?’
But I notice doubt flicker across her face before she turns her attention to clearing the table. ‘Let me have Poppy today,’ she says. ‘I don’t need to be in work until tonight, so it will give you time to go back to the hospital to be with Max. I’ll drop her to you on my way to work tonight. Mum will be here with Ivy.’
As much as I don’t want to accept Sarah’s offer when she’s dealing with her own problems, I don’t know how Poppy would cope seeing Max in the state he’s in. And what kind of wife would I be if I didn’t spend my time by Max’s side? ‘Thanks, I really appreciate it.’
