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It bothered Hawk to get a medal pinned to his chest after surviving that day, a reminder of killing his unit member. The details of Jason’s death had never made it into the report. There had been no mutual agreement among the surviving members not to tell anyone as far as Hawk knew, it had been just generally understood.
Hawk hadn’t felt like much of a survivor, and he sure as fuck wasn’t a hero. So he accepted the medal quietly when it was awarded and then promptly threw it away after the ceremony. If any one of his brothers had kept theirs, they never displayed them.
“I’m sorry,” Tildy said, interrupting his thoughts.
“Just a thing that happened,” he replied.
He reached out and ran his thumb along her bottom lip. Maybe violence was a thing that he would never get away from. “Did he- did he hurt you, Tildy?”
Hawk wasn’t all that comfortable with fixing anything this way. Give him an enemy, a target to take out, and he could do it easily. But this? This felt rife with landmines, and his footsteps were more than a little uncertain. It’s how Chris must have felt, talking to Sarah about what had happened to her. You just wanted it to go away, to get better, or not to have happened at all.
Tildy shook her head, but he wasn’t at all sure she wasn’t just equating ‘hurt’ with ‘rape’.
“Did… ” He hesitated. “Did he put his fingers in you?” Fuck, he hated even asking that. It had happened to Sarah, and Hawk knew it was pretty much just as traumatic as an asshole shoving his cock in. Tildy shook her head, and he was immensely relieved. He had no idea how to make something like that better.
“No,” she told him. “He just wanted to scare me. He took off right after he told me to stay away from you.”
Hawk felt his gaze darken. “You shouldn’t have gotten out of the car.”
Tildy’s lower lip trembled. “I know. I was so stupid. It was my fault.”
“No,” Hawk argued immediately. “That’s not what I meant. It was not your fault, Tildy. I wasn’t blaming you.”
She lowered her gaze to the floor. “I just feel so stupid. I didn’t… I don’t know,” she told him. “I guess, up until that moment, I really thought the only truly bad people in the world were my mom and dad.”
Hawk lifted her chin and looked down at her. “You should never have to know that kind of evil.”
She smiled at him, but there was an edge of sadness in her eyes. “Because I’m an angel?”
Hawk nodded and kissed her on the forehead, just above her other cut.
“I’m not an angel, Hawk,” she said quietly.
“You are,” he argued.
“What if I don’t want to be?”
Hawk leaned back and realized she had her fingers threaded through a lock of his wet hair. Tildy must have realized it too, because she quickly dropped it. “I’m sorry,” she said as her cheeks flushed. “I couldn’t help it.”
He grinned at her. “Trust me, I can relate.”
He stepped away from her and turned toward the bathroom to hang up his towel. “We should go,” he told her. “So we’re not late.”
“Late for what?”
He turned off the bathroom light and shut the door. He grinned at her. “I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you have no idea how to play poker.”
She made a face and shook her head. “No. Crazy Eights with Isabel is the closest I’ve come.”
Hawk laughed. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to be able to convince a bunch of Rangers to play Go Fish.”
Tildy looked indignant. “Crazy Eights!” she repeated.
“Uh huh.”
“It requires way more skill than Go Fish.”
“Uh huh.”
“It’s a cut-throat game, Hawk.”
“I’m certain it is.”
“I would beat the pants off you!”
Hawk turned his gaze on her. “Angel, are you asking me to play a game of strip Crazy Eights?”
Her mouth dropped open and she turned red all the way up to her ears. Hawk didn’t think anyone would ever get tired of teasing her. He grabbed her by the hand and pulled. “Let’s go.”
“Are we taking your bike?”
“Well, we’re not walking.”
He turned to lock his front door and caught her smug grin.
He rolled his eyes at her.
“I get to ride on your bike,” she declared. “Again.”
Hawk twisted the dead bolt and then leaned in close to her. She froze, breath held in anticipation.
“You’re either going to ride my bike or my cock, Angel.”
She gasped. Her eyes were wide brown pools of shock.
“Bike it is,” he announced, taking her by the hand again and leading her to the Harley.
Chapter 29
Hawk drove Tildy up the winding hills to Shooter and Slick’s place just outside the city. Though he didn’t give women rides on his bike as a rule, he was rather enjoying Tildy’s hands pressed into his mid-section, probably because he’d make that cock-riding comment. It was intended to provoke that cute way of blushing she had. Unfortunately, it also had the unintended side effect of him picturing Tildy naked and riding him, her dark hair cascading over his chest as she leaned down to kiss him.
