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I wince, squinting. “Maybe? It depends what your answer is.”
His shoulders shake with laughter he can’t hold back, and now I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe this isn’t the end of me. Maybe I can still come out of this with my life intact. “I know better than to tell you to stop, like I said. And really, at the end of the day, it’s not my business what you do in your off hours.” He narrows his eyes, tipping his head to the side. “Maybe we can meet in the middle.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you think the four of you would be willing to put a pause on your relationship during the season? I’m not saying you have to end it. I’m only saying hit the brakes until the season is over, keep it professional until then. What do you think?”
“Yes,” I blurt out without thinking. I don’t need to think. This means keeping my job, and I know they meant it when they said they wanted to help. This is the only way. They won’t necessarily have to like it, but neither will I. Sometimes, there are more important things.
“Okay, Doc.” He extends a hand across the desk, and I take it gratefully, with tears in my eyes. “Welcome back.”
17
HARLOW
By the time we finish catching up, with the coach briefing me on a few minor issues that have come up since I left, there’s already noise coming from the practice rink. The guys are down there now, warming up for tonight’s game against a team from Texas. After paying a quick visit to my office – I missed it even more than I thought I had, so much that stepping through the door gets me all teary-eyed again – I head straight for the rink. I bite my lip, but it’s no use trying to hide my glee.
I’m back. Things might still be a little awkward with the coach, but I’m back. Emotion swells in my chest when I enter the rink and gaze down at the guys running drills. I didn’t think I’d ever get this chance again. I will never take it for granted, not for a single minute.
For a while, it’s enough just to stand and watch. They don’t know I’m here, giving me the chance to hang back a little and observe. The coach was telling the truth when he said Ash is back to his old self – he’s like a ghost out there, weaving inand out, flying over the ice and making even the skilled skaters around him look slow.
When I think about it, it’s clear we have something else in common now. We both know what it means to get a second chance after we thought all hope was lost. Now, he’s working harder than ever. I intend to do the same.
It’s Danny who sees me first. He comes to a stop, then nudges Max before gesturing my way with his stick. “Hey!” Max calls out, which brings the rest of the team to a stop. “Look who it is!”
I didn’t expect this. It was one thing to hear they missed me, but another to see it. I can’t help but flash a cheesy grin as I walk down the steps, waving to everybody as I do.
“I can’t believe I’m so happy to see your faces,” I joke on reaching the players bench. A couple of the guys skate over and even hug me, and I am more than happy to hug them back.
“Do you maybe have a minute before the game starts?” Danny murmurs before backing away. “I’m kind of stuck in my head, and I tried all the exercises we went over, but…”
“Would you give the woman a minute to breathe?” Max demands, but he winks at me to show he’s joking. “She just walked in for the first time in weeks, and you’re practically on top of her.”
“Where have you been?” I don’t know who asks it from somewhere across the ice, but the question echoes my way. It’s clear from the keen interest in so many pairs of eyes that they want an answer.
“I had some personal stuff come up, but it’s all ironed out now. I’m just glad to be back here.”
“A couple of minutes before the game?” Danny whispers, and I nod before he joins the team at the request of one of the assistant coaches.
Three players in particular have not yet approached. I can understand why, even if they’re the three I want most to see. We have to be careful, now more than ever. It can’t look like I’m singling them out or like they mean anything special to me.
Right now, I’m happy to sit on the bench and watch. I’m just so happy. I want to run and jump and scream, to fill the arena with my joy. I’m back where I belong. Nothing is going to get in the way of my goals. I can have everything I want, including my guys.
Just not on my schedule, is all. But life is full of compromises.
It’s Soren who skates past first, giving me a confused look. “It’s okay,” I mouth, but he still looks puzzled as he continues past.
It’s not another minute before Ash follows the route Soren just took, and this time he pauses and pretends to fix something with his skates. “What the hell is happening?” he murmurs loud enough for only me to hear.
“It’s all good,” I whisper. “I talked it out with him. He’s going to keep it quiet since everything is going so well with the team.”
“It’s that simple?” There’s hope in his eyes when he straightens up to look at me… along with a healthy dose of skepticism. “It’s all over? Bygones?”
“Not exactly.” I glance around, careful not to be overheard. “We have to cool things off during the season. That’s his request. We keep it professional until the season ends.”
“But that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
