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“You’ve got me in the dark here, Coach. I don’t know what to think. I assumed I lost my job, but there hasn’t been any evidence of that. Where do I stand? What are we doing?”
“Hitting me with the heavy questions, eh?”
“You should hear the questions I’ve asked myself if you think that’s bad.”
He runs a hand over his jaw before sighing. “I know I’ve left you hanging.”
“A little bit.”
“I don’t like making rash decisions, and I especially don’t like to make them when it comes to somebody as popular with the team as you are.” The words are barely out of his mouth before his face goes beat red. “I didn’t mean it —"
“Don’t worry about it. I know what you meant.” Even if my cheeks are a little pink, too.
“I guess you know things are going well.”
“Of course, I’ve been following along. I can’t help it. I need to know how everybody’s doing.”
“It’s all thanks to you, and we both know that. And I also know that if I were to tell the boys I let you go, there’d be a riot.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do.” His gaze is steady, unblinking beneath the bill of his ball cap. “They would miss you too much. They depend on you. We both know it. They keep asking about you, too. Wondering where you are. It would be chaos if I told them. I don’t want to do that to them when they’re finally on the right track – and especially when it’s, in part, thanks to you. Everybody knows it.”
“So, you want to keep me hanging in-between to avoid a blowup?”
“You know that’s not what I want – at least, I hope you know.” His shoulders hunch and he blows out a deep breath. “I don’t want to see you go.”
Relief so potent I can practically taste it washes over me and loosens muscles locked up by tension. He has no idea the gift he just handed me. Or maybe he does. “That is a very good thing to hear.”
“What about you? How do you feel about it?”
I don’t have to think hard. “I love my job.”
“And yet you put it, and your whole career, into serious jeopardy, didn’t you? What were you thinking?”
Why not get it all out on the table? He did ask, after all. “Honestly? This might sound bizarre, but it’s the truth; I love them, all three of them.”
It’s clear the thought makes him uncomfortable as he fights to maintain a neutral expression. “I hope you understand. I can’t condone that. It’s… too much.”
“I understand. It took me a long time to get used to the idea, myself. But the harder I tried to fight my feelings, the more impossible it was. Pretty soon, you ask yourself whether or not it’s a waste of time to even try.”
He pulls off his cap and scratches his head, grimacing. “This is a real mess, Doc.”
“I know. And I mean it when I say I’m sorry. I didn’t want any of this to happen, and I would rather cut off my arm than hurt the team. I want you to know that.”
“Well…” He heaves a sigh and shakes his head. “I would hate to see you lose an arm. Let’s leave them where they are, yeah?”
“Okay.”
“I’m not going to tell you to end the relationship, because I’m sure that would be a waste of time. If not on your end, then on theirs. I’ve been dealing with these jokers for too long to fool myself into thinking they’ll fall in line just because I asked them to.”
“They would do anything for you.”
“Yeah. Except staying away from the team therapist. I never came out and told them to do that, but I didn’t think I needed to.”
“What do you think we should do?”
“Are you honestly asking for my opinion?”
