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“What was I supposed to do? All this time, I've been lying. I lied right to his face. Like when he suspected you guys were fighting over a girl. That girl was me, and I stood there and pretended I didn't have the first clue what was going on. That's just one example of how I've betrayed his trust. He wanted so much for me to be here, and I spat in his face. I wasn't going to do it again. I wasn't going to insult his intelligence. I'm not going to do it now, either. It's time for me to show a little bit of character. I'm sorry if you don't understand.”
“So, what? You're going to sacrifice yourself?”
“You're making it sound like I'm doing this because I want to. Do you think I want this? Do you think this isn't my worst nightmare come true?”
No. I’m not giving up. I’m not losing her. Us. I’m not about to stand on the sidelines and let her take the bullet for all of us when we were all in this together. My brain flails around, searching for another way out. “Were there any witnesses when you apologized?”
“Oh, come on...” Ash murmurs.
Ignore him, focusing on her. “Were there witnesses?”
“No, it was just the two of us.”
“There you go. It's still your word against his.”
When she rolls her eyes, there's a familiar heat that rushes through me. Something hotter and deeper than anger. I don't like when I'm not taken seriously—who does? But it's especially hard when I know I'm right. I'm only trying to help her. Why doesn't she see that?
“I can't. I won't.”
“Since when are you this—” I bite my tongue. I bite it hard. I need to get a hold of myself, because I almost called her stupid. She's anything but stupid. Stubborn, determined to drive me out of my skull, but she's not stupid.
“Enough. That's enough.” Soren stands upright and folds his arms, planting his feet at shoulder width. Like he's about to give an inspirational speech in the locker room or some shit. “This is a waste of time. Nobody wants to see this happen, but it's too late to do anything about it. What's done is done. Instead of wasting our time fighting over what can't be changed, we need to figure out how to move forward.”
But that's just it. As far as she is concerned, there is no way forward.
And I don't know if we'll be able to find one no matter how we try.
6
SOREN
This was always going to happen.
I mean, I always knew that. We've been skating on thin ice all this time. Only a child closes their eyes and sticks their fingers in their ears and pretends not to know there will be consequences to their actions. If there's one thing I believe in, it's honesty. If you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with?
It's just a damn shame it had to happen this way.
And it's crushing me to see her like this. Eyes swollen and bloodshot, her nose red, her expression one of total helplessness. She's distraught. She's scared out of her wits. When I try to put myself in her shoes, I understand why. The future is one big question mark.
And she cares too much about what other people think about her to brush this off. I can't look down on her for that. In some ways, she's a lot like me. She's had to bear the weight of her parents’ disappointment. She's not the star athlete her father hoped for. But she managed to carve a path for herself, one anyparent would be proud of. She built something of her own. A career. A life.
And all of that is probably over now. I expect Coach Kozak to come in here any second, ordering her to get out of the building. Maybe it will be worse than that. Maybe he'll send someone from the security team. Talk about an insult. No way would she take that well. I think that might break her.
Yet there she is. Facing it as best she can. Refusing to lie.
I can't pretend not to admire that. And that's why Ryder’s stubborn insistence is working its way under my skin and making it impossible not to snap at him. “Why don't you let her handle this how she feels most comfortable?”
His scowl makes the hair lift on the back of my neck. I don't want to fight with him, but he's testing me. He's damn determined to push my buttons. “What's so wrong with letting her know we have her back?”
“There's having her back, and there's breaking your neck trying to get her to go against her principles.”
“Could you not make me sound like the bad guy in all of this?”
“Could you not make it sound like she's an idiot for wanting to tell the truth?”
“Did I call her that? When did I ever use that word?” He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “You’re a real fucking pain in the ass, you know that?”
I shouldn’t scoff, but some things can’t be helped. “Careful. Your Boston is coming out.”
