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“Saw you made a friend at lunch today,” murmured Jill, breaking the silence between them.
Eli, worn out from the excitement of being around so many people, was fast asleep in the backseat.
“Yeah,” Lawson replied with a tired smirk. “Kid’s got good taste in cars.”
Jill giggled and said, “I’m impressed. You were good with him. Macho man like you—it was nice to see. Have you ever thought about having kids of your own one day?”
His smirk fell as the image of Nora-Jean rushed to the top of his mind without his permission. This time, he didn’t shove it aside, but let himself remember who they’d once been; what they’d once promised each other.Genevieve. Justus. Court.Three kids. That’s the number they’d settled on.
She’d started without him. He thought about the earliest hours of that morning and the look on Evelyn’s face at the sight of his brother in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines most grown-ups found daunting. The longer he thought about it, the more it bothered him—all he didn’t know about her. All Atticusdid.
“Yeah,” he finally muttered. He couldn’t bring himself to look in her direction. “I’ve thought about it.”
Unconsciously, his eyebrows knit together in a frown as he acknowledged the fact that he’d only ever thought about children with one woman. He’d had other sexual partners since Nora; women he’d kept around for the sake of convenience.
As if he was biding his time.
As if he could change the past.
But he couldn’t.
“Well, I hope one day you get the chance,” said Jill. “The world could use more protective men as fathers.”
“Mommy, mommy, wake up!” Evie whisper-shouted.
Nora frowned, her eyes still sealed closed, disappointed Sunday had apparently come so quickly. Late as they’d been out the night before, the wedding reception lasting well past her set-list and Evie’s bedtime, she wasn’t surprised her little one managed to find her way out of her own bed and into Nora-Jean’s bedroom at what was, no doubt, first thing in the morning.
“Mommy,” she repeated, placing a soft, warm palm against her mother’s cheek. “Titan needs to go outside, mommy.”
At the remembrance that she was currently responsible for two small creatures, one of whom could not be trusted to use the bathroom responsibly when left to his own devices, Nora pulled in a deep breath and peeled open her eyes. Evie’s face lit up when she had her mother’s attention, and for a split second, Nora didn’t care what time of day it was.
There was nothing in the world like the joyful expression her child gave simply by being acknowledged. It spoke of a love and a trust so deep it ran through their veins. A love and a trust between a mother and her child she’d never known until Evelyn Belle was born.
As she sat up, Evie hurried out of the room, Titan on her heels as she cried, “I’ll put my shoes on.”
Nora yawned, suddenly craving a piping hot cup of caffeine. She swept a bit of hair behind her ears then forced herself out of bed. Pretty certain it was Evie who decided Titan needed to gofor a walk and not Titan himself, Nora figured she had a good five minutes to spare, and she used each one of them wisely.
After her own trip to the bathroom, she slipped a pair of leggings under her sleep shirt, tossed on an extra-large hoodie, then slid her feet into some shoes before heading for the kitchen. Knowing her daughter, without even peeking into her room, she instructed Evie to don a jacket and then quickly started a pot of coffee. All three of them were ready to go at the same time.
Well—readyin the loosest meaning of the term. Nora and Evie both ventured out into the cool, December morning with bedhead which bothered neither of them. They wandered around the grassy area of the apartment complex for all of ten minutes before Evie got bored and expressed her desire to return home. Titan having seen to his business, Nora was happy to oblige.
It was an hour later, after breakfast had been served, teeth and hair had been brushed, and a second mug of coffee had been poured, that Nora’s morning slowed down enough for her mind to wander. Turning her back to the bowls left dirty in the sink, Nora leaned against the counter, cupping her mug in both hands as she stared at the refrigerator and returned to a memory which was growing more and more familiar as the days passed.
She’d been in Lawson’s presence since he moved back multiple times. Shelby was bigger than a one-horse town, but not nearly big enough for it to be possible for the two to avoid each other. Especially considering the crowd in which they ran. His sister was one of Nora’s closest friends; and not only was his brother one of Evie’s favorite people, but he was also in love with Nora’s favorite fashion designer. Restaurants to living rooms, they’d recently shared the same air. Except, the five minutes she and Lawson spent together under the cover of darkness in Steele’s driveway—it felt different. Different in that way sheknew it shouldn’t. Not after so many years. Yet, she could hardly stop thinking about it.
There was something about being alone with him in the dead of night and under the stars that was unexplainably intimate. No matter how many years went by or how life changed, she would never forget being sixteen, completely in love, and wrapped in his arms in the bed of his truck in the dark of night. She would never forget what it was like to gaze at nothing but the outline of the shadow he cast and yet see all of him. His secrets. His hopes and dreams. His regrets. His disappointments. When they were young, they didn’t need toseeeach other to beseenby one another.
Three nights ago, she’d looked at the shadow he cast in the night, and she’d seen a man who would never quite be a stranger because she still loved the boy who used to live inside of him. She’d stood in that driveway and saw the man she swore she’d love forever when she was only fifteen years old. And it was strange—strange because she didn’t know him anymore. Neither did he know her. Even still, she knew, without being able to see his eyes, that he saw her, too. The stranger she had become. The woman he swore he’d love forever when they were kids.
She couldn’t explain why she kept thinking about it. They had both been exhausted. Nothing significant had been shared other than their relief that Steele was going to be okay. It was five minutes in the dead of night, under the stars. It was nothing—but it was a nothing she sort of wished she could repeat. Another five minutes to remind herself she knew what real intimacy with a man was. Pathetic as it might have been, she hadn’t felt anything like it since him.
“Oh, mommy—aren’t you gonna get dressed?” asked Evie as she stopped at the threshold of the kitchen, hands on her hips.
That morning, she’d opted for a pair of black and white tribal print leggings and the adorable dark green sweatshirt dressNora-Jean had to have when she saw it in the store. Just like her mama, Evelyn Belle had a deep love of prints. Even though she was only four years old, she had an uncanny knack for pairing them with solids.
Still, cute as her mini-me was, Nora arched an eyebrow at her daughter and muttered, “Who you sassin’ with that mouth, hmm?”
This made Evie dissolve into a fit of giggles, which she tried to muffle as she placed both hands over her mouth.
