Page 23 of Steeled


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She tried to calm down. She tried to drive the speed limit. She tried to shake her paranoia, but it all seemed to cling to her like a wad of toilet paper stuck to the back of her heel. Even though she knew she wasn’t being followed, she checked her rearview mirror every two minutes to ensure Creed didn’t know where she was going.

Fuck, she thought to herself as she forced in a deep breath.

It had been so long. She had gotten so comfortable. She didn’t think she’d ever have to worry about Creed following her anywhere. It was the exact opposite. He’d gone running in the opposite direction of her and her precious Evelyn before she was even a sonogram picture. He’d never once attempted to claim his daughter. Not once.

As she sped toward her destination, Nora thought back to one of the hardest conversations she’d ever had to have with Evie. Explaining some families had mommies and daddies, and some only had mommies was heartbreaking for Nora. It wasn’t that she didn’t love their life and their bond. It wasn’t that she wished Creed had stuck around or come back, even if only to bea part-time dad. She was grateful he’d never changed his mind. It was easier. Hard as their life felt sometimes, Creed’s absence made it less complicated.

Even still, it wasn’t the life she wanted for her little girl. Nora knew what it was like to grow up without a father. Worse, she knew what it was like to grow up with a father who chose not to be around. If the best she could offer Evie was a story that some families simply didn’t have daddies, that’s what she would do. She knew such explanations wouldn’t keep—but she’d let it ride for as long as she could. The idea that Creed would bring about that expiration date years before it was due terrified Nora.

In the midst of her panic, Nora-Jean tried to piece together how it was that Lawson had been a part of the scene she’d fled. He knew Creed was in town. He’d come to warn her. He’d been too late, but she didn’t think she could blame him for that. What boggled her mind was that he knew who Creed was. It was no secret amongst their friends who Evie’s father was, but nobody spoke about him; and Lawson hadn’t been around when the whole thing happened.

If he had been, I wouldn’t have Evie at all…

Nora groaned, tightened her grip around the wheel, and shook away the thought. She didn’t have the capacity to think about Lawson just then. She had bigger problems, harder questions, and what felt like impossible decisions.

“Lord, help me,” she muttered as she pulled into the gravel driveway.

She didn’t waste a second after she shifted into park and killed the engine. Habitually snatching up her purse, she strapped the bag over her shoulder and clung to it as she hurried for the front door, lit by the warm glow of the porch light. Before she took a step inside, she sucked in a huge breath and then held it as she let her eyes fall closed. She pictured her daughter’s smiling face and exhaled slowly, forcing her emotions in check.While not entirely calm, she opened her eyes and let herself inside.

“Hello?” she called, walking through the hallway leading toward the kitchen, the light beckoning her there.

“Back here, darlin’,” replied Darlene.

As Nora entered the room, she looked around and saw only her aunt at the island, labeling what looked like at least one hundred jars of jam.

Before she had a chance to ask, Darlene informed, “Evie’s out back in the shed with your uncle.”

“Thank God,” sighed Nora. She visibly deflated as she dropped her purse onto the dining room table. She then pulled out a chair and plopped into it. As soon as she was seated, the tears she’d been trying not to cry welled up and began to fall without her permission.

“Nora-Jean, my goodness, what’s wrong?”

“I was leavin’ work to come here, and Creed showed up. Just like that. Like it was nothin’.” She shrugged her shoulders as she sniffled and wiped at her nose.

“What?” gasped Darlene, her jars instantly forgotten.

Her aunt’s disbelief was somehow a comfort all on its own.

“Apparently, he’s in town somewhere workin’ on a movie. He wanted to drop by to see if I was still around. Then he said he was hopin’ to meethim,or maybe her.” Her anger returned, putting a halt to her tears. Wiping her cheeks dry in frustration, she continued, “I can’t believe the audacity of that asshole! Pardon my language,” she huffed, then continued without missing a beat. “Like him leavin’ me five years ago was nothin’; like he hasn’t been ignorin’ the fact that he’s got a four-year-old kid in the world.

“Wanted to see if I was still around,” she scoffed.

“Well, what did you tell him?”

“I told him he’d meet her over my dead body. I’m not doin’ that to her. No way. No way in hell.”

A frown tugging at her brow, Darlene said nothing but merely nodded. Her silent response was enough to make Nora doubt herself.

“I mean, that’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?”

“I reckon,” she murmured. “But—and I’m not takin’ sides here, you know I’m in your corner—but I wouldn’t blame him for bein’ curious.”

Nora let the thought settle. Darlene had a point. Selfish as he was, curiosity got the best of everyone sometimes. She’d be lying if she said she’d never looked him up on social media. She wasn’t proud about it. It had been years since she’d last done it, and it only happened when she was feeling really low, but ithadhappened. It was during one of her darkest moments when she made the vengeful decision to never post a picture of Evie online. She had thousands of photos of her favorite little human, and she shared more than a few with the people she loved—but she never wanted Creed to be able to glimpse into their lives. He didn’t deserve it.

Though, whether or not he deserved it wasn’t the point. The point was that he was in town, and he was curious. Furthermore, whether Nora-Jean liked it or not, he was Evie’s father. Not officially, of course. His name wasn’t on her birth certificate—but she had his eyes. That was undeniable. The question was, did he have any rights? And if he didn’t, would his curiosity and his proximity compel him to fight for some?

Again, Nora groaned, this time burying her face in her hands.

It was nearly Christmas. All she wanted to worry about was making sure a few of the things on Evie’s list made it underneath the tree. She didn’t need the ghost of regretful relationships haunting her.

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