AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It’s war. Simple as that.
I want to make sense of it—the odds.
Why Tanner? Why not me?
There was a time when my promises of coming home meant more. Sure, mom’s still counting down the days I’ve got left over here. It’s true, Lady Jay all but demands I come home safe. But the woman I love more than any other isn’t hanging on to my promises any longer. I found my purpose in this war and lost my heart in the process. If it had been me today—shot dead as another casualty of war—I’d have left behind memories for all who would mourn me. But Tanner…
Tanner is never going to hold his baby boy in his arms. He isn’t going home to fix the floorboard that creaks in the hallway—the one his wife, Liz, has been complaining about for months. He isn’t leaving behind memories. He’s leaving an undone to-do list. He’s leaving a hole no one else can fill.
It doesn’t make any sense.
Why Tanner? Why not me?
“Law…you okay?”
Justice’s voice brought him back to the present. When he opened his eyes, it wasn’t his boots he saw, but hers. The black leather was worn. The buckles, stacked from the heels up and over her ankles, gave them what she considered badass flare. He stared at them for a full thirty seconds, forcing himself back into the hospital—back home, and away from the war he’d managed to survive.
“Hey…” she murmured, taking another step toward him.
Lawson watched as his sister carefully slid her arms around his middle. The flannel button-up she wore was cuffed at her elbows, revealing her bare left forearm, and a quarter of the tattooed sleeve on her right. It wasn’t until she leaned into him that he let go of the grip he had in his hair, lifted his head, and sought out her eyes—her hazel gaze bloodshot from exhaustion and worry.
Like their mother, Justice was tall, only a few inches shorter than her brothers. These days, his hair was longer than hers. Hers was cut short in the back and long in the front in what she called a pixie cut. Her bangs fell across her forehead, and Lawson felt the soft strands against his own as he let his head rest against hers.
“You okay?” she repeated on a whisper.
He nodded, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, and they stood together in silence for a while. Relief required no words.
Ten minutes later, Gale returned to the waiting room, and it was decided that Justice and Keaton would be the next pair to visit Atticus. Justice might have been the baby in the family, but Lawson didn’t mind letting her go first. He knew Abernathy, his brother’s partner and the reason he’d made it to the hospital in the first place, would be next. Whatever conversation the two would have, he wanted to be in on it—the details of the case they’d been working information Lawson knew Abernathy was sitting on until he could speak to Atticus.
When his father and sister returned, Lawson and Reed shared a silent exchange as they looked at one another, then headed toward the hallway. Lieutenant Carlson followed close behind, but neither Abernathy nor Lawson protested. Atticus’ nurse, on the other hand, was none too pleased to see the three men as they approached the doorway. She tried to protest the three men entering together, seeing as an exception had already been made for Mitzi, who hadn’t left his brother’s side. It was Atticus who convinced her if she didn’t let them in, he’d be forced to have the same conversation twice. With strict instructions that Detective Abernathy and Lieutenant Carlson could stay for five minutes, Lawson awarded the customary fifteen, she left them to talk.
Carlson gave Atticus grief for breaking protocol and not wearing his vest. Worn out as he was, Atticus argued he’d done his duty, acting as fast as he could to get the job done. Unable to argue, Carlson and Abernathy caught him up on all that had transpired with the case since he’d been rushed to the hospital. Then, after what Lawson was sure was exactly five minutes, Atticus’ nurse returned to kick his commanding officer and his partner out of the room.
Lawson watched them go before sliding the tips of his fingers into his jean pockets and settling his gaze down on his brother. For the first time since he’d entered the room, he was reminded of the fragility of life. The form such a reality took with Atticus in a hospital gown, hooked up to machines, his skin pale, and his body weak—it shook him to his core. He’d seen plenty of death with men he considered his brothers. But the threat of a life snuffed out too soon, it had never hit so close to home.
“Three tours in Afghanistan and somehow, right here at home,you’rethe one givin’ mom and Judge a scare.”
“Hardly more than a flesh wound. Everyone will forget it happened in a couple weeks.”
Mitzi scoffed and pinched at his leg. “Did Kendall up your morphine? Because you’re talkin’ crazy.”
Lawson didn’t say it, but he agreed with Mitzi.
“I’ll be just fine,” Atticus muttered.
Lawson gave his brother’s shoulder a squeeze. Looking over at Mitzi, he said, “Either of you need anything, just call.”
“Actually, there is something I could use your help with.”
“What?”
“I’m gonna try and stay as long as they’ll let me. I left Titan at Atticus’ place. Do you think you could stop by with Nora so she can take him home?”
“Uh…yeah,” he agreed, aware he had no choice. He couldn’t take back his offer, even if the thought of being alone with Nora-Jean made his stomach bottom out. “Okay.”
“Thank you. There’s a bag around here someplace with Atticus’ things,” she started to say, looking around for said bag.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got a key.” He ran his fingers through his hair and then glanced down at his brother. “I’ve got work all day tomorrow. I’ll try to swing by after.”
