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"Oh." Realization dawns on her face. "So that's why you're always running around. He must keep you busy."
"Yeah."
I'm slowly gathering my wits.
"Anyway," I give her a small smile, "thanks for this. I should get going."
I'm about to walk away when she suddenly asks, "Do you want to get lunch today?"
I close my eyes, feeling disappointment settle in. "Thanks, but I can't leave the building during lunchtime."
"That's not a problem." Maya beams. "You can have lunch with me in the guard's kitchen. We have a separate kitchen that nobody uses during lunch hours. The cafeteria is always crowded, so I usually eat there, and my sister packs a lot of food for me so we don't even have to get food from there."
I hesitate.
Jonathon made it very clear to me that he doesn't want me socializing with anyone. He likes to place cruel restrictions on me to make me suffer, calling it my penance for what my brother did to their family. However, sometimes I wonder if that is it or if he just enjoys torturing me and flexing the control he has over my very existence.
But ever since I got the taste of rebellion the other day, something in me has begun to wake up.
I don't want to have lunch in the cafeteria all by myself, huddled in a corner. I don't want to eat on the rooftop so I don't seepackmates laughing and talking among themselves. I want to have someone to eat with, at least. I tighten my jaw. What's the worst Jonathon will do? He's already plans to leave more scars on my back because his son has a violent temper. What's a few more lashes?
Maya mistakes my silence for something else, and she lets out an awkward laugh. "You don't have to. I mean, it was just an off––"
"I'd love to," I say firmly, turning to face her.
"Really?" Her eyes widen, making me wonder if I'm the first person to accept her offer.
"Yeah." I try to play it cool, but the excitement is beginning to settle in. "But I don't want to get in trouble with the alpha, so let's just keep this between us."
She doesn't ask why the alpha would care about me having lunch with her, and I'm grateful for that since there is no reasonable explanation I can offer.
There is a spring in my step as I return to my desk. It's childish, but the idea of having a semblance of a friend right now seems like some of my loneliness has abated. I want to smile, but I hold myself back. A friend. I've never had one before.
Lunchtime can't come around soon enough, and when it does, I make sure Jonathon is out of his office before I scurry off toward the security office. The security office is located in the back of the main building, at the very end. Few people go there, so there is little chance of anyone catching me. True to Maya's word, there is nobody in the kitchen, and she's unpacking a huge lunch box. She's set up the table with two plates, forks, and spoons, and the child in me wants to jump from excitement. The adult knowsI'm being foolish, but the child has never even had this much for herself.
"Hey." I give her a cautious smile.
Her eyes brighten when she sees me. "Cynthia! Come in!"
I look at the array of dishes spread out and give her a curious look. "Chinese food?"
She flushes. "My sister loves Chinese food. That's all she cooks. But it's not bad."
I want to ask her if she lives with her sister, but I don't know if it's an appropriate question. As we sit down to eat, I realize the food tastes really good. It's also light on the stomach. Maya's kind of a chatterbox who flits from topic to topic. I kind of enjoy listening to her, but I'm also conscious of the time. I answer her questions about my life and family as vaguely as possible. By the end of the lunch, I managed to learn that Maya lives with her older sister, who’s a sous chef, and their father is no longer in the picture, but their mother is still alive.
Somehow hearing about her normal life with such normal problems jerks me back to reality. I want this. I want this kind of normalcy in my life where my biggest problem is where to buy dinner from. This is why I've been fighting all this time.
"Rory's going to make dumplings tomorrow," Maya says as she packs up her lunch box. "I'll steal some extra sauce for you."
She's taken it for granted that I'm going to be here tomorrow, and my lips curve.
"Sure. I'll bring something as well."
But as I'm about to leave, I hesitate. Looking over my shoulder at her, I debate for a moment before saying, "Maya?"
"Hm?" She looks up at me.
I wet my lips, nervously. "Could you… Let's keep our lunch meetings between us, okay? I don't want you getting in trouble."
