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I couldn’t even look at him, so I grabbed my dick, held it. Whined again.
“Come on, muffin, let’s get you laid.”
I loved that he took charge. That I didn’t even have to think because he just knew. I trusted him to know what I needed, and I needed all of this. His breath against my skin as he kissed down my chest. The scent of his sheets all around me. His bed that had become more than a home. This was the place where I could relax, where my breaths didn’t hurt when they left my lungs. Where life was simple and full of him.
Where his face was now down in my groin, his cheek stroking my dick or the other way around. I didn’t know which, but my dick throbbing, sending shudders through my entire body.
“I love you,” he said. “It’s stupid and too soon, but when I’m with you, those words make more sense than anything else.
“I love you too,” I huffed out. It wasn’t easy to speak when his mouth was suddenly around my dick and there was all this warmth and fire in my body that I was only just learning to control. To use. To share. I flipped him over as soon as he came up for air and climbed on top of him, trying to get my mouth everywhere at once. On his lips, his face, his chest, sucking on one of those nipples as my hand travelled down over his hips, the other fisting his hair.
I needed it all. All at once. All of him and all of me. All of this, in this strange dance of being us.
He smiled and arched off the bed so I could get closer. “Let’s get you slicked up because I’m gonna come if you keep on licking my nipples. They’re very sensitive. And I kind of…ahgrhg…”
OK. Good to know. I moved up, flicking my tongue across his neck then back down to the other nipple, which hardened as soon as I got my mouth on it. Little things like that—who would have known? I whined again and had to hang on to my dick as Matt reached over and grabbed the lube.
“Condom?” I asked.
“Need one?” He wasn’t mocking me, but I still felt stupid.
“Well, I’ve been on PreP for years, and I’ve always used condoms with hook-ups. I got tested after the last time I got laid, but if it makes you feel better, we can use a condom.” He was already leaning over towards the bedside table, and my hand was already tugging at him to come back.
To me.
I wanted this, and he did too. I wasn’t going to question things that didn’t need questioning. The whole thing was so surreal that all I could do was smile and wrap my arms around him, hold him against me as we just breathed.
“I don’t want this to end,” I said. I had no idea where it came from.
“What to end? I just want to have sex with you, but stamina is a thing, muffin.”
“I love that you call me that. Muffin. It’s such a silly name, but it makes me…I don’t know…happy? I want to do this forever. Be with you. Have you lie with me on this bed. I want this to last, and it’s making me all panicky that I don’t know how to do that. How to…make you fall in love with me and want to be with me when I’m just this big clueless oaf who has no idea how to even start making you happy.”
“You already make me happy,” he said quietly. “You make me happy by just saying that. And there’s no need to panic with me. I’m right here. Always right here. You’d have to do something pretty stupid to make me give up on you.”
“How stupid?” I got out before my brain went into melt down. It was hard to think with his expert hands smearing lube all over my dick. I groaned at the sensation of his fingertips firmly moving up and down.
“You’ve never done this?” He already knew the answer, which was as well. I didn’t have the oxygen to reply, small gasps coming out of my mouth as he squirted more lube into his hand and then straddled me, so he was sitting on my stomach. Well. Not sitting as such. My stomach was full of food and my head was full of static, and his dick was just there, proud and erect, smooth skin in a bed of dark curls. So I stroked it, taking it fully in my grip. He rewarded me with a squirt of lube at the tip, one I made full use of. Like a pro.
I was no pro. But I was happy we hadn’t done this the first time around. Or the second. Now, though?
“One day, I will ask you do to this for me. But right now… Conny, I want you inside me…ahhhh…”
His hand was behind his back, and he was humping into my grip. My neck stretched as my dick caught his arse. More lube. I had no idea what he was doing, apart from that my dick was now getting the full treatment from his hand and he was making cute little huffing noises. I wanted to watch, yet all I could do was feel. Groan. Want. Need.
His hand pulled up, squeezing my foreskin together over the tip of my cock, lube bloody everywhere, then he was right there, and…and…
There were no more words left in my head to describe what we were doing. But I suppose that was sex—when words didn’t matter anymore and all that was left was feelings. A massive sense of pressure around my dick. A smooth warmth. More pressure. Those sounds he was making, pushing down onto my length. I was watching now in complete awe, my mouth wide open as I felt myself disappear inside of him. My hands grasped at his hips as he groaned.
“Fuck, you’re big. Everyone wants a big cock, and then when you get the perfect cock, you kind of go…damn…ugh…oh, fuck.”
I loved that he always talked to me, made me smile when I couldn’t even function.
“You OK?” I asked as his head hung between his shoulders. I smoothed dark curls away from his face.
“Yeah. Just need a minute…to adjust…I mean…ugh…fuck…fuck you and your huge cock.”
“My cock is very normal.” My cock was anything but normal. It was happily pulsing inside of him, and the urge to just flip him over was overwhelming. Yet if I did that, I’d have no idea what to do, so I waited patiently while he did whatever he was doing.
