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“Whose phone is this then?” I hacked out, trying to wipe my eyes with the duvet.
“My driver, Dave. Lucky for me, I’d memorised your number. I’ll text you when I get mine back. We’re filming some stupid scene with me standing on top of a cliff at like fuck-this o’clock in the morning and then something else. I just want to come home. I mean, I knew this was coming up, but it was supposed to be weeks away. Then everything got changed around. I never used to mind, but now I have you…”
“Yeah?”
I waited silently as he breathed.
“I don’t like being so far away from you.”
“I know,” I said, my chest warming. I hadn’t realised how much I’d needed those words to come from him. Well, anything really. Just having his voice in my ear had soothed a million worries. “We’re adults,” I said matter-of-factly, like I hadn’t been through a total meltdown today. “Sometimes work will take us away. I have a conference in autumn. Two days in a hotel.”
“I suppose I can…deal with that.”
“And you’ll be doing this theatre thing.”
“I have a driver. I’ll be coming back to you every night. I’ll probably drive you mad waking you up in the early hours, but I’m looking forward to not having to get up at the arse-crack of dawn like I am now.”
“When are you back?” I hated not knowing.
“Two weeks.” The way he almost whispered, it could have been two years. “I asked Aisha if she could bring you up here on Friday so I could at least see you, but we’re shooting all weekend too. It would be awful for you, stuck in my trailer for days in the rain. Good weather for the show, though. I’m going to be caked in mud looking for bodies all week. Fun times.”
“You’re crazy. Your life is crazy.”
“Even crazier when I have you,” he said softly.
“My deranged brother has left a load of messages on your phone. Something about football.”
“Oh.” He giggled and snorted. I loved that sound. For a moment, it was like he was right here beside me.
“I’ll have to text him too then.”
“He said you’re dead famous and that all his mates will be super jealous that he knows you. Swiped your number from my phone.”
“The little shit.”
Yeah. I laughed too. Funny how everything was suddenly brighter now.
Two weeks. I could survive two weeks, couldn’t I?
“Conny?”
“Yeah?”
“We can do this. Can’t we?”
“Of course we can. I’m not giving up on you.”
“So…we just have to have phone sex now?”
He laughed. Coughed. Tried to compose himself. It didn’t sound like he was having much success.
“Matt, we’re not having phone sex on Dave’s phone, but bear with me. If I get signal on top of that cliff tomorrow morning, I might treat you to…well. I don’t know.”
“Don’t fall off that cliff!” I growled.
“I promise.” He was smiling. I could hear it.
“I love you,” he said, and I smiled and said it back, then sank into my pillows, tucking the duvet under my chin the way he always did, and stared out the window. The sky outside was dark, but my room was full of light.
