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Con
IhatedhowIfelt, and the worst thing was I didn’t know how to fix it.
Well, I did, but that would involve running away from set and becoming that ridiculous diva person I had promised myself I would never become. I was a responsible human being, and I would not force Dave the driver to take me to London on a whim. I also knew how much trouble I’d be in if I did, even though the car was right outside my hotel room, so in theory, I didn’t even need Dave. Except I didn’t have a driving licence. Something that had never bothered me before but did now. I was a grown-up, and I was…I didn’t even know what I was, apart from an idiot.
Matt had been upset with me; it didn’t take a genius to figure out why. It wasn’t the same talking to him over the phone, so I had kind of…not called him, which was a dick move, and I would’ve been pissed off with me too if I’d been him.
Now it was Sunday. We’d been here a week, and I still didn’t know what the hell we were doing. I’d had my phone back for days and was sitting on the bed in the room, the week ahead already turning into all my worst nightmares since the light was perfect. I’d barely had any sleep, and now they wanted to drive Caroline and me out to some bog again so they could film us crawling in mud in the dark.
Our director had lost the plot, and I wasn’t the only one complaining. Aisha was too.
And she was supposed to knock.
“Normal people knock,” I snarled at her as she flung the door open and walked into my room. I was not in the mood.
“Yeah, they do, but we’re not normal people. Caroline is threatening to contact the union. I’m dangerously tired, and I don’t care if you’re Kit…whatever his name is…the one with the hair, muscles, brooding face…”
“Connor?” I suggested.
“No…no, the other one.”
“Which other one?” My mind was just fog.
She flopped down next to me on the bed. “This is your thirty-five-minute warning. They want us in the car and rolling. The light’s fading.”
“I can barely move.” Truth. I was cold and aching, despite the long shower I’d had. The day had been too long. My body had had enough.I’dhad enough, and I’d already typedI love youto send to Matt but hadn’t pressed send. I was just so tired.
“Don’t lose your phone again. It’s not in my job description to run around asking everyone if they’ve seen a phone in a nondescript cover with a nondescript background photo. Your phone is, like, the blandest thing I’ve ever seen.” She waved her own phone in my face, the cover full of stickers with too many things hanging off it.
“Suppose that’s me. Nondescript.” I sighed. I had no idea why we were talking about phones. None whatsoever.
“You’re not. You’re Con. But you are kind of bland. At least, you used to be. You’ve been much more fun lately. Need any more shopping?”
I had to smile.
“I kind of need relationship advice.”
“Oh, no.” She stared at me. “You’re asking the wrong person. I’m married to my radio, and my last boyfriend dumped me when I got up in the middle of sex to answer my phone. I love this job, really, but it sucks balls. Big time.”
“I upset…the boyfriend.” I didn’t know how else to phrase it.
“OK.” She picked up her phone, which was making some incredibly annoying noises, and then put it down again. “We’re wanted, but I didn’t see that text…yet. What did you do?”
“I think I may be really bad at being in a relationship, but I don’t know what I’m bad at, but I think I should be, like, telling him things that I don’t.”
“Like what?”
Oh, fuck. I should never have started this.
“Things like, ‘Hey, I’ve just gone away for two weeks.’ I’m not stupid, Aisha. I know I should have told him, but I’m just… Crap. And now I am avoiding texting him because I don’t want to disappoint him further by being a clingy idiot.”
“Ah. Yes. OK. So, we need to step up the flowers and send him large gifts. Is that what you’re suggesting?”
“I don’t know. Should I?”
“Sometimes I wonder who the talent is here.” She shook her head. “No. Fucking hell.”
She sighed and picked up her phone again, stabbed some words into it and slammed it down on the desk next to the bed.
