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“I very much doubt gifts and extravagant gestures will do the trick. If this boyfriend is a nice normal person, then maybe flowers and gin wasn’t his thing.”
“Yeah. That stuff was stupid.”
“Agreed, but also sweet. Romantic. We all need a bit of fluff in our lives. But I think the two of you are past that. Am I right?”
“It’s been…a few weeks.”
“Yup.”
God. It was like pulling teeth. I just needed her help, preferably before being caked in mud and thrown into a bog with a camera up my back.
“Can I suggest something?” she said.
“Anything.” I sighed. “Please.”
“Use your phone. Text the guy, morning and night. Tell him things, even the trivial stuff, and always tell him you miss him. Dudes love that shit.”
“Do they?”
She laughed. “And no more gifts. I know what you need. You need him, and he probably needs you, so let me check the rota and see if I can get him up here for you. Just one night. I may be able to swing that. Does he work?”
“School teacher.”
“Okaaaay.” She smiled. Yeah, driving Matt up here for the night sounded like heaven, but it would be impossible, and I would be exhausted, and people would talk, and did I care?
“Aisha, I really appreciate this.” I did. I wasn’t just saying it. I was in way over my head here, and there was truly…I just…fuck.
“Don’t worry about it. Problem-solving is my entire résumé, which is why I’m still here doing this crap while my flat hasn’t been cleaned for a year and my one and only pot plant has died a cruel, horrible death. My friends don’t even bother texting anymore, and my hotel room in this dive doesn’t even have a window.”
“At least you have a room. Dave’s sleeping in one of the trailers.”
“Yeah. The set coordinator fucked up the head count.”
“I think we all fucked up,” I mumbled. “I hate this. Am I the only one who’s getting pissed off with this whole shoot?”
She stared at me because I was never this candid. I never said anything. I was the one who turned up and did whatever I was told.
“It’s mega fucked up. But we all smile and nod because we have three weeks to go. Seriously, Con. Just do it. But I’ll tell you now, if they think they’re going to ask me back for the next season, they can think again. I’ve worked on every single season for this arsehole show and never once been offered promotion. Aisha’s great, give her a runner’s job. Again. Tell Aisha, she’ll fix it. Again. Then I get the blame when whoever else fucks up. I can do better for myself. I don’t have to settle for what they offer because it’s safe.”
“You’re really good at what you do. Everyone says so.” It sounded so lame, but I felt guilty because I’d never considered it from her point of view. I had Dave, who picked me up whenever I needed to go somewhere. I never questioned it. I had Aisha, who made sure I got everything I needed. Everyone else around me worked like a well-oiled machine making everything happen. All I had to do was turn up and deliver.
And I would deliver again, right now, as Aisha pushed me out the door with her phone glued to her ear, as usual. Her radio crackled in the darkness as I got in the car with Dave and set off down the road.
“You all right?” I asked him.
“Bog tired, kid.”
“This is a clusterfuck, isn’t it?”
He didn’t reply out loud, but he nodded.
I slept all day the next day, and the only thing that got me up was another text from Ollie to get my arse into gear and ring him.
So I did because I needed to do something that wasn’t this. It was Monday. Well, that’s what my phone told me. I’d lost track, wallowing in loneliness and frustration because my boyfriend wasn’t where I was.
Spoilt and entitled wasn’t the start of who I’d become, and it made my head hurt.
“Finally!” Ollie said as the call connected.
