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Ever since Fenrir brought her up, she's all I can think about. It's been a little over three weeks since I've seen her, and right now I feel like a pretty shitty friend.
If I was laying in a hospital bed she'd be there every day, holding my hand.
I quickly get behind the wheel of my trusted five year old Kia Optima and start my journey toward downtown Tallahassee.
As I drive along the interstate, the lights shine bright as I head toward my exit. Rain starts slowly coming down, only a gentle pitter-patter tapping against my windshield.
Within twenty minutes I arrive at the hospital's attached parking garage. I park my car and make my way inside the hospital.
With each step anxiousness rises up within me. As much as I hate seeing her laying in that damn bed, I need to see her. I'm a bad friend if I keep staying away when she needs me the most.
The automatic doors sense my presence and allow me to enter. I walk inside and a warm greeting fills my ears. "Hello dear, how can I help you today?"
An older woman with librarian style glasses sits behind the front desk, her name tag reading 'Brenda'. Her kind eyes meet mine, "Hello, dear. How can I assist you today?"
My nerves start to settle as force a soft smile. "I'm here to see Meghan Simmons. She's on the third floor, in 328."
Brenda nods and begins typing on her keyboard. "Can I see some identification, please? And, what's your name?"
I reach into my back pocket and pull out my phone, which has one of those nifty cases that hold a few cards. I hand it to Brenda, who begins tapping away on her keyboard.
"I'm Starla Jacobs, I should be on the list of people who can come visit her."
Brenda compares my ID to something on her computer, smiles and hands it back to me. "Yes, you are. Do you know how to get up to her room?"
I nod confidently, "Yeah, I remember the way."
Brenda clicks a button on her keyboard and something prints out of the machine on her right. She picks it up and hands it to me, "Stick that on so the guards know who you are."
I peel the sticker off the plastic part and place it on the right side of my chest. "Thank you," I say as I slide my ID back in my phone case and walk off, heading toward the elevators.
With a pounding heart, I make it to the hospital elevators and press the button, waiting for the doors to open.
After what feels like an eternity, the doors finally slide open. A few nurses walk out, exhaustion covering their faces.
I can't imagine working here, dealing with emergencies and dying people. It has to take a toll on you over time.
I head inside and tap the button for the third floor, and no one enters the elevator with me.
As the doors close, I'm left alone and the pounding in my heart gets worse. Why the fuck am I so anxious? The faint hum of the elevator music does little to calm my nerves.
Finally, I reach the third floor and step off the elevator. The sterile scent of hospital disinfectant fills my nostrils as I make my way through the maze of hospital hallways until I reach the one her room is on.
I suck in a deep breath as I reach the entrance to her room. With a trembling hand, I reach for the handle of her door and push it open.
Her room is peaceful, with soft lighting and contemporary music playing in the background. I almost think she'd wake up out of hatred for it. Meghan would much rather be listening to Three Days Grace.
A blonde doctor stands at her bedside, eyed glued to her iPad.
Startled by my presence, she whips her head around to greet me. "Hello there. I was just checking in on Meghan. Are you family?"
I hesitate for a second, but I want an update and this is the only way I'll get one.
"Yes, she's my sister. How is she doing?" I'm almost afraid of the answer.
My eyes dart to Meghan, looking over her body. She's paler than usual from the lack of sun, and it looks like she's losing a little bit of weight since the start of her hospital stay.
I do notice something new, though. Her breathing tube is gone.
