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I watch her, my heart pounding in my chest, waiting for her response.
Chapter Eleven
Mallory
This was not at all what I expected when I woke up this morning.
“You are in love with me?” I ask, uncertain if I heard all that correctly. Maybe I’m having a very strange dream.
The wind picks up again, lashing rain at the windows like it’s trying to get in. Lightning flashes, strobing the dimly lit room.
“Yes,” he whispers, his voice full of emotion.
It catches me off guard, and I find myself unable to respond. I’m not sure what to say. Part of me is thrilled that he feels this way about me, but another part of me is scared. If I give in to this, it could all end in heartache.
More heartache I should say. It’s not like I haven’t been obscenely sad for months.
Thunder booms outside, making me jump. I take a deep breath and try to steady myself.
“I don’t know what to say,” I finally manage, my voice barely above a whisper.
He nods, understanding in his eyes. “I meant to be a little more casual to start. Sort of ease you into the whole I love you thing.”
A transformer down the street explodes, causing the power to flicker for a moment then cease entirely.
“I don’t think there’s a way to ease into that,” I reply, my voice shaking. “Especially when you’re not sure how the other person feels.”
He moves closer, his hands reaching out for mine. “How do you feel?”
I look away, unable to meet his gaze. “Why did you stay away if this is how you feel? Where have you been?” I whisper, my voice barely audible over the crashing thunder.
“I thought I could make it go away,” he admits on a dark laugh. “I’m not built for this kind of thing, you know? The first time I saw you, I was drawn to your innocence because I wanted to taint it. I’m not a good guy. But then you made me feel.”
I want to argue that he’s not a bad guy, either. “Feel what?”
“Feel. Everything. I hadn’t felt anything at all in so damn long. And then you just brought it all to the surface. And I didn’t like it. Not one bit.”
“I don’t understand why you’re here then. If you don’t like it.”
He squeezes my hands, his eyes burning with intensity. “You make me want to be better, for you. Because I want to be the man you deserve. I love you, Mallory, and I’m not going anywhere. Not anymore.”
None of this makes any sense. I’m a preschool teacher. He’s a rock god. I’m not looking for a life of partying to excess and jetting around the world. And he’s not exactly suburban neighborhood material.
“What is it that you want?” I finally ask.
“I want to meet your parents. I want to make cheese omelets with you in the middle of the night. I want to take you to this special island I know and make love to you in the ocean. I want to volunteer as a chaperone when you take your class on a field trip so I can watch you with all those little kids. I want you backstage at my concerts, knowing all the love songs are yours. Iwant to make you come every morning before you’re even all the way awake. Is this too much? Should I stop talking?”
I sort of slide onto the couch, my knees giving out. “No, don’t stop talking,” I say, my heart pounding in my chest. “It’s just a lot to take in.”
“I know it is.” He moves closer, kneeling on the floor in front of me, his hand reaching out to brush a strand of hair away from my face. “But I mean it, Mallory. I want all of that with you. And more. I want forever with you.”
I stare at him, unable to form words. This man, this rock god who could have anyone he wants, wants me. Wants a life with me. It’s almost too much to believe.
But then he leans in and kisses me, and all doubts and fears and insecurities melt away. His lips are soft and warm, his tongue coaxing mine out to play. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, wanting more of him. He groans into my mouth, his hands sliding up my thighs.
We break the kiss, gasping around all the newly available oxygen.
“Wow,” I breathe.
