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“I’m not so sure about that,” she said softly. “I don’t think most people would lift a finger to help someone they hate.”
Everything else faded away as I gaped at her. Hate?
“You think I hate you?” I asked, my mouth suddenly bone dry. She laughed and rolled her eyes, waving her hand.
“It’s okay, Thacker, I hate you too,” she said airily. I winced, surprised at how deeply those words cut me, coming from her lips. “Well, I did, anyway…”
For a second we just looked at each other, the air growing thin between us. When I couldn’t stand the pressure anymore, I cleared my throat and looked away.
“I don’t hate you, Hope,” I said. Of course, I didn’t. I was obsessed with her. Stupid, head over heels in love with her. But with my damage, of course, that love looked like hate to the person it was meant for. That was the problem I’d always had with women. It was like the very fact that I was attracted to them made me forget how to treat them like human beings.
“You don’t?” she asked. I couldn’t look at her. Why wouldn’t she just leave me be? Let me wallow in my well-earned misery.
Damn, I wanted a drink. Anything to numb this pain. Before Hope, a drink was the only thing I’d ever wanted this badly. And if I was being honest with myself, the craving for alcohol paled in comparison to what I felt for Hope. For how badly I wanted her. Especially now that I’d touched her, held her, felt her soft skin against mine…
I blinked.
“Of course, I don’t,” I said. “You’re a damn fine chef and employee. Thank you for the cupcake. Consider the matter settled. We’re even.”
She lingered in the doorway for a beat, despite my dismissal.
“Is there anything else I can help you with?” I asked, looking anywhere but at her.
“No,” she said. Now I did glance at her. She looked almost wistful. “It’s settled.” I nodded, and she was gone.
45.
Hope
The official blew his whistle as a monster defenseman from the other team slammed Kane Devereaux into the plexiglass partition right in front of me. Kane whipped around, jerking off his helmet, and the beefy guy was ready for him. Even as the whistle blasted, the two faced off, throwing punches.
They were separated and sent to serve time in their respective penalty boxes.
“The other team sure hates that fast little guy,” my mom said. I laughed, hooking my arm through hers and hugging her to me. Her cheeks were pink from the cold air inside the rink, her voice raw from cheering for Jamie. She and my dad had welcomed him into the family with open arms, and I got the sense that she’d taken him under her wing as a surrogate son since Reid moved to Denver. I’d even caught them talking on the phone a couple of times.
She looked worried as her eyes scanned the ice.
Usually, an attack on one team member would cause tensions to rise with the entire team, but that didn’t seem to be the case tonight. The rest of the Ice Hawks stayed in line and didn’t resort to any dirty plays. Their opponents targeted Kane and took him down, over and over again. By the third period, he was on the players’ bench and he wasn’t moving except to slug a sports drink from the bottle Rowan handed him with a smirk.
The game was tight, but the Ice Hawks pulled out a win. Jamie knocked a slap shot into the net and lit the lamp as the clock flashed zero. The other team looked on mutinously as the Hawks dog-piled in the center of the ice.
I hugged Mom goodbye outside the locker room, with a promise that Jamie and I would come over for dinner soon.
“Do you know why the other team was dogging Kane so hard?” I asked as I walked out to the parking lot, sandwiched between Rowan and Jamie. I felt more than saw the glance they exchanged over my head.
“I heard a rumor that he’s the next big thing. Our secret weapon,” Rowan said with a cryptic smile.
I laughed. “I mean, he’s pretty good. But he’s notthatgood.”
“He’s a piece of shit,” Jamie grumbled next to me.
I stopped dead. They both took a couple of steps forward in sync before they realized I’d fallen out of formation and turned to look for me.
“Why do I have the feeling that I’m missing something?” I asked, cocking a questioning eyebrow at Jamie. He glanced at Rowan for support, but I kept him pinned with my eyes and he was squirming in no time. “What is it?” I asked, suddenly worried. Was something serious going on?
“Can we talk about this at home?” Rowan asked, rescuing Jamie, who looked relieved. I scowled at them.
“How serious can it be that you can’t just tell me right here?” I asked, digging in. I could be stubborn when I needed to, and I really didn’t care for the feeling that they were keeping secrets from me. “Jamie?” I asked, turning my full attention to him.
