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I wake slowly to warm, golden sunshine and the sound of birds chirping. I stretch, smiling, before I remember why I’m happy. Noah. He’s seen me at my worst and at my best, he knows how hard I work and he still wants me.
The best orgasms I’ve had in my life don’t hurt my mood.
I roll and reach for him, but the bed is empty, his side cold. Did I dream our night together? Or maybe he regrets it? Maybe in the light of day, he realized I’m not worth the risk or the effort.
My phone on the nightstand still has no signal, but it’s got enough battery to tell me there’s no way I’m getting to work today. I get up, get dressed, and use Lennox’s land line to call in and let Joy know what happened.
“No problem,” she says like she means it. “I’m glad you’re safe. We were all worried about you with that storm yesterday. You weren’t caught out in it, were you?”
I’ve never before had a boss who expressed empathy when I called in, never before had a boss who even bothered to pretend to care about my life outside of work.
I thought that’s just the way it had to be in the working world. It never occurred to me things could be different. “No. I was here at Cynthia’s house when it started.” I haven’t yet decided if I’ll explain about Lennox. It seems like the fewer people who know, the better. “My boyfriend Noah hiked in with me, so I won’t be alone getting home.” My body tingles when I say the word boyfriend. I hope he still wants me to call him that for real.
“Oh, good,” Joy says. “Maybe send me a text to let me know you got home, okay?”
She gives me her personal cell number and I say goodbye and hang up. I stare at my phone for a few seconds, my chest oddly warm. Almost immediately, my brain kicks into gear and my suspicions rise.
No boss is going to genuinely worry about a recent new hire. There has to be an angle or a motive. Maybe she’s just worried about having a competent editor on staff for when Gloria retires. Or she’s…
I don’t know, but I’m not trusting it. It can’t be real. That’s not how the world works. People take you for granted, takeadvantage of you, and will step on you to get ahead. That’s reality.
People leave and never come back. That’s real life.
I use the bathroom, brush my teeth with my finger and the toothpaste I find there, and head downstairs. Lennox’s voice carries up the stairs. She’s talking excitedly about something, maybe telling a story.
Noah laughs, and metal clinks like he’s eating.
Jealousy surges up my spine, which is ridiculous. I’m going to be heading back to New York as soon as I get the opportunity and Noah’s going to move on. He’ll find someone, fall in love, and get married. He’ll live a small town life and I’ll make my dreams come true.
Except, when I picture my dreams, I don’t envision relief or happiness. I see myself working alone until late at night and going home to an empty apartment. I swallow hard against the lump in my throat.
This is what caring for someone does. It makes me dissatisfied and overly emotional. Noah’s not mine. Not really. No matter how real I want our relationship to be, it’s not headed for some happily ever after, like in a Lovemore book. It’s just a good-sex-and-good-friendship-for-now relationship.
That’s what’s safe for him and for me.
“Hey, Daisy.” Noah appears at the bottom of the stairs, his hair mussed, his smile wide like he’s actually happy to see me. “I was just about to get you up. We should probably leave soon.”
I hurry to the bottom of the stairs and wrap myself around him, all my rational thoughts lost. He hugs me tight and, when I tilt my head back and look up at him, he kisses me like I’m the most delicious part of his day.
We might not be forever, but Noah Brooks is absolutely the very best part of my day and has been since I met him.
“Good morning,” he whispers when he pulls away. “Hungry?”
I’m starving, but not for food. I want more of Noah. I want to drag him back upstairs, not just for sex, but to have more time with him in this bubble where the real world can’t penetrate, where I can pretend he’s mine for a little longer.
“I am.” He loosens his hold and I slide down his body and land on the bottom step.
Noah steps back, but he holds out his hand to me, and I take it. Together, we walk into a kitchen that smells like warm cinnamon and sugar.
Lennox’s hair is up on top of her head in a messy bun and she’s wearing an over-sized flannel shirt with a tiny tank underneath and tinier shorts. “Power’s back,” she says cheerily. “Would you like a tofu scramble and toast or cereal or toaster waffles?”
“Just cereal would be perfect,” I say. “I can get it.”
Noah hands me a mug of coffee, made just the way I like it. Lennox puts three boxes of cereal, a bowl, a spoon, and a carton of soy milk on the counter.
“How do you get groceries up here?” The question had occurred to me last night, but we’d had better things to talk about.
Lennox smiles serenely. “I can hike down to a dirt road in less than an hour, and I’ve got a car just off the road down there. I can’t buy a ton of groceries all at once, but it’s not like I need a lot.”
