AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Sadie’s expression barely slips, but I see it. She’s disappointed. This is why it’s better to avoid a social life - that way I don’t have to let anyone down. I don’t have to let Noah down and see him lose interest in me bit by bit. “Rain check?”
She kisses my cheek as I answer the phone.
By the time I get back to Sadie’s place three hours later, I’m starving and exhausted. The apartment is dark, everyone either sleeping or out. There’s leftover takeout from the night before, but my stomach is in knots.
Today was a shit show. That first email from Fernwood meant I had to call an author and suggest she turn her literary fiction into a psychological thriller, because thrillers are more marketable right now. It wouldn’t take much to make the change, only destroying the deeper truth she’d meant to express because she’d never meant it to be a thriller. I wanted to spend time with her and help her figure out how to maintain the meaning of her work and please the publisher, but Fernwood called me in for a meeting.
A mind-numbingly boring meeting about how literary fiction has enough publications set for this year and we need to try to find manuscripts that can be converted to something more marketable. Genre definitions are really just marketing terms anyway, so it’s not an impossible goal, but we’ve got five lessliterary books set for publication this year than last and the whole thing feels more like a money grab to me.
Also, why couldn’t it have been an email instead of a two-hour meeting?
I was so bored. I spent the whole time wondering what Noah is doing. Is he dating? Are he and Ellery going out tonight? Does he even think of me?
I force myself to eat my leftovers, brush my teeth, wash my face, and change into my pajamas. It’s too quiet here and I need to vent to someone about my day.
I’ll get the hang of the new position and the endgame is to be president of the company anyway, so I won’t have to answer to anyone. Except the board and the financial guys and market whims.
I slump onto the couch and drop my head back. What if I’m getting this all wrong? What if I should have stayed in Catalpa Creek?
The urge to call Noah is so strong I have to toss my phone to the other end of the couch. He doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore. He definitely doesn’t want to hear me whine about the job I left him for.
My phone buzzes, and I scramble for it. It has to be Noah.
It’s a text from Honey, a picture of Zephyr under a full moon. She looks good, filled out, almost back to her healthy weight.
Me:That is an amazing picture. You should be an artist.
Honey:Ha! Thank you. Miss you.
My heart pinches in my chest. Me:Miss you too. Everyone else pissed at me?
Honey:Yep. Are you happy?
With anyone else, I’d think she meant it like,are you happy now that you’ve pissed everyone off?,but Honey’s not like that.
Me:I don’t know if I’ve ever been happy.
Tears stream down my cheeks. A-fucking-gain.
Me:Forget I said that. It was just a rough day and I’m missing you and home.
I type home and send the message before I realize what I’ve done. Catalpa Creek feels like home. My sisters feel like home. Noah feels like home. And I’ve walked away and left them all in the most unforgivable of ways.
Honey:If you aren’t happy, figure out what you need to be happy and do that.
Me:You make it sound so simple.
Honey:It is simple when you stop caring about what everyone else thinks or what your plans were, and just do what feels right to you.
Me:Is that what you do?
Honey:I try really hard. It’s not always easy and sometimes I wonder if I’m on the right path at all. The best stuff isn’t supposed to be easy, right?
Me:Maybe.
Me:How’s Noah doing?I send the message and close my eyes, too nervous about what she might say in response.
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I peel one eye open.
