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I smile back, swallowing my laughter. As an only child, I’ll never get tired of hanging out with Daisy’s sisters.
“Why am I so itchy?” Daisy walks into the kitchen in the tank top and tiny shorts she wears to bed every night. Her hair is mussed from sleep and her face is without make-up. She’s fucking beautiful.
She’s also not wearing a bra. I avert my eyes because I am a gentleman.
If I think too hard about how much I want Daisy, about her bare legs and visible nipples, I won’t be able to stop myself from walking over there, pulling her into my arms, and kissing her. And, if I kiss her, I will lose her.
I almost lost her once, and I won’t let it happen again.
She scratches her arms, leaving long red welts as she walks over to the coffeepot.
“Did you shower last night?” I ask.
“I was too tired.” She doesn’t look at me.
“You need to shower after rolling around in the grass.” My skin is starting to itch just watching her. “Or you’ll never stop itching.”
“I need coffee first.”
“Why were you two rolling around in the grass?” Clover raises and lowers her eyebrows in a ridiculous expression.
“Seriously?” Daisy spins to face her sister. “How old are you?” She glares at Clover before glancing at me, her cheeks reddening. She goes back to making her coffee. “Noah is like mybrother and I’ll stop speaking to you if you try to match make us or whatever.”
That’s the reminder I need that Daisy doesn’t see me the way I see her. She doesn’t want me the way I want her. “The first time we met,” I say. “You were itchy. Remember?”
Daisy picks up her mug and holds it under her nose as though just breathing in the caffeine will wake her up. “What are you talking about? We met because of Mallory. I wasn’t itchy.”
“That was the second time we met. The first time, you were working at the med school library, your arms full of books, and I was just a student walking by. You begged me to scratch your nose because you didn’t have a free hand.”
“That can’t be right.” Daisy lifts her chin, displaying her long beautiful neck, and squints like she’s trying to look into the past. “Why didn’t I just put the books down?”
“We were in the main hall and the nearest tables were several steps away. I guess it was too far for you to go with an itchy nose.”
She looks at me like she doesn’t know who I am. “And you scratched my nose?”
“I did. You scrunched it up after and thanked me like I’d just saved your life.” Her blond hair had been longer then, falling halfway down her back, and she’d been wearing a plain gray t-shirt and jeans. I’d been drawn to her on a soul deep level. If Daisy’s friend, Mallory, the little sister of one of my oldest friends, hadn’t gotten drunk and needed me to help her back to the dorm room she shared with Daisy, I probably would have gone back to that library every day like some sort of creepy stalker.
Daisy shakes her head and sips her coffee. “I don’t remember that. You’re making it up.”
I shrug, all nonchalance. “Maybe I’m confusing you with someone else.”
And that’s the second reason I can never tell Daisy how I really feel about her. She doesn’t remember the first time we met, and I’ll never forget it.
∞∞∞
I sit in my car and admire the small building that is in the process of becoming my clinic.
The realization of a years-long dream.
It’s just gray cinder block with an outdated back door, but it’s mine. The first place I’ve ever been able to call my own. The first place I’ve ever stayed, fingers crossed, longer than two years.
When I tell people about my childhood, they’re impressed by how well traveled I am and all the exciting adventures I must have had. I’ve lived in twelve different countries and seen a lot of beauty, but my childhood was lonely. All I ever wanted was a place I could call home, a place I belonged.
Instead, I had two parents who worked long hours and moved us around according to their job requirements. Often, I lived with only one parent at a time, as their jobs rarely required them to be in the same places at the same time.
I had the best nannies and tutors, but few opportunities to see other kids, to make friends. And my parents never had time to spend with me, even when they weren’t working. It was as though I was an afterthought in their lives, another piece of furniture that had to be moved along with everything else.
An electrician’s van is parked a few spots over, meaning they’re already here. Progress is being made turning this old day spa into a doctor’s office. It’s a suitable location, just a block off the downtown main street and just a few store fronts from adentist’s office and a salt spa. During my lunch break, I can walk a few blocks to a pretty park by the river.
