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“That vein is pulsing again,” she observes, and reaches over for the one of the bottles of oil she had brought me. Opening the cap, she pours a dollop into her palm and rubs her hands together. “Close your eyes and take a deep breath.”
She steps in front of me, where I’m seated on the stool. I part my legs to make room for her hips, and she leans in, all warm and cushiony. I oblige, closing my eyes and feel her fingertips massaging the scented oil onto my temples and the centre of my forehead. I may not believe in all this mumbo jumbo, but I’ll never complain about having Jazz’s hands on me.
Using a firm yet gentle pressure, she rubs the space between my eyebrows. “Massaging this spot brings a sense of calmness,” she whispers in a low, hypnotic voice. “And here…” She places her fingers on the top of each ear and runs them up the sides of my head until they meet at the crown. “This raises your emotional energies. It stimulates awareness and allows you to connect more with your feelings.”
“You really believe this stuff?”
“Of course.” Her hands work their way through my scalp, down my neck, and onto my shoulders, kneading the tight muscles. “I’d like to study more about acupressure to enhance the meditative experience. Maybe even get certified. I’m sure you learned something about it in Kinesiology.”
“Only briefly,” I murmur. “The science behind it is lacking.”
“Your vein isn’t pulsing anymore.”
I open one eye. “That’s because your hands are on me and I’m pulsing elsewhere.”
Her gaze drops to my lap. Seeing the bulge of my cock, her eyes flash with a naughty glint. “I’d be more than happy to take care of that, but you said you wanted to talk.”
“And you’re making it damnhardto do.”
She teases me with a seductive smile, but removes her hands and scoots back onto the stool. My T-shirt isn’t the oversize kind, so it outlines her generous curves and accentuates her soft, dimpled legs. I want to spread her open and devour her again. I want to fuck her bare without any barriers. I want her, period, full stop. But life doesn’t always give us what we want, and that’s a bitter pill to swallow.
“You’re only twenty-four,” I say, which is arguably the least of my worries right now.
“So?” She blinks at me in confusion. “What does that matter?”
“I’m thirty-seven. You’re just starting your life, while I’m already in the middle of mine.”
“Please.” She rolls her eyes, clearly unimpressed. “I’m a woman, Leo. I own a business, and I’ve been taking care of myself since I was twenty-one. I’ve grown up fast. I know my own mind and my own heart. I’m not some naïve girl with a silly crush.”
I didn’t think that she was, but…“It’s not as simple as us being together, Jazz.” I wish it were. “Kai and I have serious issues from the past, and today I promised my mother that I would try to put that behind me and move forward. How can I do that and take the woman he claims to love away from him?”
“First off,” she says in response, “I am not anyone’s property. You’re not stealing me away from Kai because I was never his, and I will make that clear when I speak to him tomorrow. I’mchoosing to give myself to you, if you want me. But if you don’t, Kai is not going to get me by default.”
Damn, I adore this woman. She so calmly and effectively calls me on my shit and puts me in my place. “Fair point,” I admit. “And for the record, Jazz, as long as I’m drawing breath, I’m going to want you. And even without it.”
“A strong sentiment that I would love on any day, but not when you say it like it’s a curse.”
“It’s not. You make me feel things I didn’t even know I wanted or could feel. When I walked into your studio that night and saw you, it was like being hit by a tornado and tsunami all at once. It all came at me so hard and fast. And it’s been like that ever since. I’ve tried to analyze it, but I can’t.”
“I’m not a spreadsheet, Leo. You want to find a logical explanation, but sometimes there isn’t one. My mom always said to follow my heart, and I find that most of the time it’s led me to the right place. But you have a lot at stake here. It’s not just your heart, you also have to consider how your mother and Kai will react. I could never live with myself if I came between you and your loved ones.”
“Whatever happens between Kai and me isn’t your responsibility. I don’t want you worrying about that.”
“It’s hard not to when I know it’s worrying you.”
“Things between Kai and me haven’t been good for nearly five years.”
“Will you tell me why?”
“Yeah.” But I’m going to need a drink for that. I get up and pour myself two fingers of whiskey, even though it’s Sunday night, before an early day at work.
Jazz observes the glass in my hand and the vein that I can feel pulsating in my head. I’m sure she’s thinking I need to take deep breaths and meditate. But she doesn’t say anything, patiently waiting for me to begin.
I take a long sip, and stand at the counter across from her. “At the time, I had my own business as an athletic trainer, building a client roster of elite athletes. There was this kid. Jean-Paul, seventeen, a sprinter with dreams of making it to Nationals. He was exceptional, with potential for the Olympics, and I wanted to be part of his growth and success. I spoke with his high school coach, who vouched for his dedication and commitment. I decided to take him on pro bono since his family didn’t have the kind of money required for his training, and I knew them through Kai’s friendship with JP’s older brother, Denny. I didn’t much like Denny; he had a reputation for trouble, and that wasn’t a good thing for Kai, who could find trouble without anyone else’s help. But JP was different. He was focused and hardworking. I knew he could go places.”
Jazz nods, fully engrossed in the story, listening without interruption.
“We had the drug talk,” I continue, taking another sip. “I laid down the law. No juicing up, just proper nutrition, vitamins, and a comprehensive training regime. I even got him to sign a contract. Although it wasn’t legally binding, I wanted his commitment.
