AllFreeNovel
Share Us
When I arrive at the apartment I share with Zay, I’m greeted by the soft glow of the TV, but he’s nowhere to be seen. In the shower, probably. It’s just as well; I just want to go to sleep and not have to feel. I close the door to my bedroom, shutting out the light from the hallway. As I make my way to the bed, I strip off my clothes, and curl up beneath the sheets in just my panties. I hug one of the pillows, feeling hollowed out.
Minutes later, a gentle knock interrupts the silence, and the door creaks open behind me. The mattress sinks under Zay’s weight as he sits down, his hand caresses my hair. “What happened, Baby Girl?”
“Kai found out.” Tears seep from the corners of my eyes and run down my face. “Leo told him during an argument, and it escalated. Kai hit him.”
“Oh shit.”
“All because of me. Because I didn’t listen to your warnings. And now Leo is riddled with guilt and conflict. He doesn’t want me anymore.”
“Ssh…you’re not to blame.” Zay lies down on the blanket and spoons against my back, offering me comfort. “The situation with Kai was already heading towards disaster long before you ever came into the picture. Leo just needs time to sort this all out before he finds his way back to you.”
“What if he doesn’t?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
Zay’s sigh warms my neck. “Have faith, Baby Girl. I need there to be a happily-ever-after with a nice guy. I want to believe that dream is possible.”
I snuggle closer to him, desperately wanting to believe that a happy ending is possible too.
CHAPTER 24
Leo
I SIT ALONE IN THE dark, wishing I could rewind the clock and redo it all. Not the moments I shared with Jazz; those are prized and treasured. It’s all the time I’ve wasted. Instead of bottling up my anger for Kai and allowing it to fester, I should have confronted him years ago. Maybe we could have worked things out, maybe not. But at least I wouldn’t be carrying around this burning resentment and bitterness.
Now, the past is all tangled up like a mess of Christmas lights, where you can’t even find the beginning or the end. And right in the middle is Jazz, knotted up in the chaos. It’s not fair to her, I know she blames herself. I should have told her it wasn’t her fault. I should have stopped her from leaving, or at least had the self-awareness and sensitivity to ask her for some time to deal with Kai. But I was so mired in my own shit when Jazz found me, I said things I didn’t mean and kept silent about the things I should have said.
I’d hurt her, breaking my promise that I wouldn’t. My chest tightens as I remember the look on her face before I let her walk out that door. It was sheer disappointment. She loves me, and I let her down.
My mother’s voice is raised. I can’t remember the last time I heard her so angry. It’s directed at Kai, who sits at the kitchen table with his head hung low, resembling a child being scolded. But this isn’t her battle.
I enter the kitchen and both pairs of eyes shift to me.
“Leo. Oh, my goodness, look at you.” She gently touches my face and Kai looks away. “Let me get you some ice.”
“I’m fine, Mom. I want to talk to Kai. You don’t need to be involved in this.”
“I am involved,” she asserts firmly. “I’m appalled by Kai’s behaviour. Hitting you because he didn’t get what he wanted makes me so ashamed of the role I’ve played.” She turns back to Kai, who attempts a pitiful expression, but my mother’s resolve remains unwavering. “I have allowed you to believe that you were a victim of your circumstances, thatgrowing up without a father and with a mother who emotionally checked out for far too long wasn’t fair to you. But by doing that, it created a sense of entitlement, as if the world owed you something, and you never grew up.”
“Jesus, Mom,” he says, “enough already.”
“Don’t you dare speak to me like that.”
“Sorry,” he grumbles.
“I love you, Kai. I love you both, and I want you to work this out, but I will not enable you anymore.” She gives him a hard look, pats my arm, then leaves the kitchen.
“What do you want, Leo?” He fiddles with the salt shaker on the table, keeping his eyes averted. “You want to hit me back?”
“If I wanted to hit you back, Kai, your ass would have been grass hours ago.”
He snorts out a noise that’s neither denial nor agreement.
“I want to make something clear,” I say, facing him with my back against the counter. “I did not intentionally go after Jazz knowing how you felt about her. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you on Sunday when I should have. But I won’t take back falling in love with her. That’s a done deal. I can understand that her rejection was a blow, but if you do anything to try to hurt Jazz or her business, you won’t like the consequences.”
He scrubs a hand over his face in a copy of my habit. “You expect me to be happy for you?”
“That’s up to you. But I don’t think this has as much to do with Jazz and me as it has to do with the animosity between us that has been building for years.”
“You blame me.”
