AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I stared up at him. Once again, I was unable to stop myself from saying the words that were floating through my mind. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
His eyes had a strange, fractured look in them. Satisfaction and regret and desire. “I didn’t know either.”
And then his mouth found mine again.
CHAPTER18
AIDEN
Ididn’t sleep that night. I had Layla curled up against me, her body warm and her breathing even as a metronome. The moonlight was streaming through my curtainless windows, and I caught the down notes of the band playing at the bar across the street. How many nights had I spent sleepless, staring at the ceiling, listening to that bar’s live music? More than I could count. I’d never needed much sleep, and since the company got so busy, I needed even less.
I was tired now though. Bone deep weariness that came from being in an impossible situation. I’d crossed the line with Layla, but there was no way in hell I was going to cross back. It had been hard enough to resist her when I didn’t know what it would be like between us. Now I knew, and nothing was going to keep me from her.
Not even Jack.
The exhaustion moved into my bones. I’d have to tell him eventually. If this had been a one-time thing, maybe we could have gotten away with it, but it wasn’t going to be that.
I turned my head to look at her. In the moonlight, her hair was dark as shadows, her eyelashes were black crescents against her cheeks, and her skin was a pale silver. We’d fallen asleep naked, and she had one slim arm draped over my chest. Her breasts were warm against the side of my body. I felt a swell of gratitude that I’d never felt for any woman before. I’d appreciated them all. Loved a few. But this was something different.
I feltmovedby the sight of Layla in my arms. My throat felt tight. My heart felt too full. It was a wholly new feeling, something I’d only seen on other men’s faces a few times and never really understood. It felt like love, but it couldn’t be. We’d slept togetheronce. It had taken me three months to tell Shara I loved her.
I had convinced myself to love Shara. I could see that now. Because she was kind and she cared about animals more than her hair and she came from a family that prioritized education and culture and all the shit mine hadn’t. She spoke French fluently, and on top of it all, she was beautiful. I’d gotten a little high off the idea of being with someone like her. Full of myself that she loved me when ten years ago, she would have been out of my league.
But it hadn’t really been love, and it hadn’t come close to filling the void I’d told. Now, holding the one person in the world I really shouldn’t be touching, I couldn’t feel disgusted with myself. I was too struck by the realization that I couldn’t feel the missing piece anymore. I probed for it, like a tongue searching for a sensitive tooth, but there were no pangs.
I stared down at Layla and wondered if she was what had been missing, or if this was a coincidence. She sighed in her sleep and turned so her forehead was resting against my shoulder, my arm pillowing her head, a long sheaf of silky hair curving down her pale back like wings.
* * *
Just before dawn, when the moon had long slid out of view and the sky was lightening to a jeweled blue, I disentangled myself from Layla as gently as possible. Free of the weight of her head, my arm felt strangely light as I found my sweatpants and pulled them up over my hips. Out in the kitchen, I made coffee and took the first cup out onto the deep balcony that overlooked the last few streets of the city and, just beyond it, the harbor. My plan was to work for an hour, then wake her up. I’d only just gotten my computer powered up though when I heard the glass door slide open behind me.
Layla stepped out, wearing my t-shirt. It showed all of her long, slim legs, from her bare feet to her upper thigh.
“That’s a good look on you.”
She looked down at herself and smirked. Pointing a toe, she said, “Yeah? Maybe I’ll wear it to the office.”
“Sure, but first let me gouge out Blake Morten’s eyes.” I thought about it. “And Andrew’s. And Joe’s.”
Layla laughed and took my laptop out of my hands. Setting it on the other chair, she slid into my lap. “You can’t blind the whole office. How would they develop brands?”
“Fuck it. I’ll sell the company.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder. Absently, she curved her arm up to run her fingers through my hair while we both stared out at the view. It didn’t feel like any morning after I’d ever had.
Layla’s thoughts must have been tracking mine, because she murmured, “This feels–”
Right, I wanted to say, but that seemed like too much. “Good,” I said instead, because it did.
“Really good,” she agreed. She looked back at me. The rising sun put the red back in her hair that the moon had taken out. The disparate strands looked like they were on fire, and the flames made her blue eyes even more electric. “You don’t regret it?”
I shook my head. “Wish I did. It would be easier that way.”
“Not for me.” She kissed me, and the caffeine in the coffee became unnecessary. Kissing Layla made me feel like I was waking up for the first time. Seeing a different color on the spectrum. It was good and terrifying at the same time. If I let her, she would change everything.
Time passed, but I had no idea how much. I only knew that when we surfaced, the sun was higher in the sky. There were more cars on the streets below. We went inside and saw that it was dangerously close to time to leave for work. We hadn’t showered, and worse, Layla hadn’t brought a change of clothes.
“I’ll borrow something,” she decided, and let herself into my walk-in closet. It was half empty. There was a box labeledShara’s clothes, stuff she’d left behind when she moved out of our old place. We both looked at it silently, then Layla turned back to the rack that held my minimal collection.
“I wore jeans, so I just need a different shirt,” she said. She pulled a plain white t-shirt off a hanger. “I’ll make this work.”
