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Alex came around the corner, tucking a gun back into his waistband as the girls swarmed me, hugging me tight. Both had haunted looks in their eyes as they checked my injuries.
We moved quickly after that, knowing it was only a matter of time before someone stumbled upon the scene we’d created. Dev and Bex carried the man to his van, Bex tying him up with a rope that he already had in the cab. I didn’t want to think about that, or about anything else he might’ve had in the van. Dev’s angry eyes were enough to tell me it wouldn’t have been good.
“My dad has somewhere you can keep him,” I told them when Bex and Dev returned. Alex already had the phone to his ear, murmuring quiet words lined with anger into the phone. I doubted he appreciated someone getting too close to his fiancée, even if she hadn’t been the target.
Once Alex hung up the phone, Bex spoke up. “I’ll drive him. He can hang until we get to him tomorrow.” Alex agreed, and Bex stepped around him to kiss Wren goodbye, ruffling her hair with a soft smile. “You stay with Ames until I come to get you. Alright, little bird?”
Wren nodded, wrapping her hand around Ames’s as Alex led them back to his car. The two looked shaken up, and I didn’t miss the way Ames thumbed the pendant around her neck more than once, as if reassuring herself it was still there.
Only Dev and I were left behind, his knuckles still bloody, my adrenaline fading until I felt each bruise littering my skin. Dev watched the rest of them leave, his back to me with his fists clenched at his sides, and I wondered how he felt, what he was thinking.
I didn’t expect him to spin toward me, anger in the lines of his face as he growled, “Where were you?”
The accusation had me flinching, both from the blame in his voice and the fact that I deserved it.
“I just needed some space.” The excuse felt frail on my lips, a poor reason for putting myself in danger. If I hadn’t gotten my attacker’s hand off my mouth, if he had been able to overpower me faster, I might not have been able to call for help. I might’ve disappeared, just because I couldn’t handle the idea that Dev wasn’t falling for me as hard as I’d fallen for him.
I watched the shuttering of his features, how his frown curved down even further at my words. He looked like I’d slapped him, like my admission was somehow worse than the danger I’d put myself in.
“A week and you already need space?” He asked with a bitter laugh, throwing his arms out in exasperation. “What’s next? Will you be running from me the way you ran from your guards?”
He took off in the direction of the car, slowing his steps enough that I could keep up, and the consideration somehow hurt worse than his anger.
“No-” I tried to argue at his back, but the words were weak, and I cut myself off before finishing. I had never been a liar, and I couldn’t lie now.
Because I couldn’t deny that for a moment - as I watched Dev hold Wren the way he held me and realized just how foolishly doe-eyed I’d been this past week - the familiar anxiety tightened in my chest, urging me to run in the opposite direction until I could breathe again.
Dev pulled open the passenger door of his car, urging me inside with his jaw still tight, lips pursed in frustration. I watched him walk to the driver’s side, sliding into the seat without a glance in my direction.
The car ride was silent and tense as the tall buildings and gray pavement of the city turned into the familiar swaths of forest that had grown to represent home over these past few weeks. It was only once we turned onto the road that led to our house that I realized how thick the tension between us had gotten, and I attempted to reach out again.
“I’m sorry,” I said, voice catching.
“How am I supposed to keep you safe if you run away from me?” He sounded tired, and my heart clenched at the thought that I was the one who had sapped the energy from him. “I refuse to fuck up my duty.”
“Your duty?” I asked, incredulous, as if I’d misheard his words.
“My job is to take care of you,” he clarified as he pulled into the driveway, putting the car in park before he rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes, clear exhaustion in the lines of his face.
The words were a slap in the face, the final piece of my wake-up call after the delusions I’d entertained the past week. The way I’d foolishly convinced myself Dev felt for me an ounce of what I felt for him, that the kisses and sex and cuddling meant he was catching feelings when it was really just a product of the marriage he’d gone through with out of a sense ofduty.
And normally, it wouldn’t have hurt so badly. I would’ve liked to think that in most cases, my rationality would’ve kicked in. I would’ve understood the line he’d drawn in our relationship, would’ve started rebuilding the walls that had crumbled on our wedding day hoping to salvage some part of my heart. I would’ve reminded myself that my safety came first, and that Dev didn’t owe me anything, hadn’t made any promises about love, and confronting him about my feelings would only bring heartache and awkwardness into a union we couldn’t end.
But it was this night. The night that had spiraled from bad to worse. The waitress who flirted with my husband, as if she could sense our relationship was fake. The words she said, the realization that came afterward. The attack that came when I was at my weakest, when I’d allowed the feelings I always knew would hurt me to overwhelm me, allowed them to put me in a dangerous situation.
The worst of it all, though, was that I’d brought this on myself. I’d known, going into this, that Dev could break me - would break me - and I’d let him. Worse, I’d believed that this sham of a marriage could turn into something real, that he’d feel something for me and stay by my side. I’d watched my mother leave so easily, after years of marriage, after years of raising me, and yet I thought three weeks with Dev would be enough to convince him to care for me the same way I cared for him.
Unfortunately, knowing the feelings would hurt me and being able to preventing it from happening were two separate things. And knowing those feelings were the cause of the ache starting in my chest and spreading to each of my limbs didn’t make the pain disappear. I couldn’t just shut off those emotions, couldn’t build an impenetrable wall, as much as I wanted to pretend it was possible.
But what I could do was run.
Unwilling to be a hypocrite ten minutes after telling Dev I wasn’t running from him, I left the car at a quick walk rather than a sprint. I kept my eyes focused in front of me, ignoring the tears blurring my vision. I just needed to make it to my bedroom, already resigned to sleeping on the floor since Bex had never returned my bed. Maybe if I appealed to Wren, she’d take pity on me, and I’d be able to get my mattress back tomorrow.
“Rory!” Dev called, his toes almost catching my heels as he came up behind me. I only increased my speed, positive Icouldn’t continue this conversation without breaking down. “I can’t take care of you if you keep running from me.”
His hand caught my shoulder just as I reached the entrance to my bedroom, and he spun me around before I had a grip on the doorknob.
“I get it, okay?” I yelled, watching the shock that colored his face as he saw the tears brimming my eyes, and heard the crack in my voice as I whispered, “I get it.”
