AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I didn’t mean to say that out loud,” I murmured, embarrassed that my inner thoughts burst forth.
“I’m glad you did. You’ve been a little quiet about what you want,” Jackson said.
I swallowed. “I know we cannot go back in time. That’s unrealistic, but I want to get as close to where we were. I want you and me to be confident in touching one another.”
“I’m just at a loss as to how to get back there,” he said, brushing my tears and hair from my face.
We were lying on the bed facing each other. Each of us was laying on an arm we had curled under our heads. His other hand was softly tracing the contours of my face while I placed my hand on his chest. It was a sweet, tender moment, and I was getting ready to ruin it.
“Jackson, we need to talk about this. Liam says it will help.”
I watched as he closed his eyes, and then he swallowed hard. His chin trembled slightly, and he nodded. His eyes were filled with pain when they opened.
“It’s just too much, Katie. I…don’t know…I don’t know what to do.” The emotion made his voice thick and his nostrils flare.
“I know, Jackson, but we have to talk about it. Ignoring it like we have been isn’t good for us. Not if we want to get better. And let’s be honest, it’s not working.”
“What do you want me to say? I’m sorry. That’s a given.”
“Why would you need to say I’m sorry? You didnothingwrong, Jax. Nothing”
“I didn’t protect you. That’s what a man does. He protects his woman and the people he loves, and I didn’t do that. I watched while that vile, evil monsterrapedyou. You stared at me while he hurt you, and I did nothing. I just watched. They wouldn’t even let me look away.”
“Baby! No! I stared at you because you are my rock. At that moment, you were my only tie to sanity. I focused on you and the love I felt for you so that I could at least try to block out some of what was happening to me. The color of your eyes helped tremendously because the color changed so much. I tried naming all the colors of green.” I paused, trying to regain some control over my emotions.
“Jackson, I never wanted nor expected you to do anything then. I knew that if you tried to help me…” My nose burned as I tried to staunch the flood of tears threatening to overtake me. “I knew that they’d kill you.”
“Oh, Katie.” He pulled me to him, wrapping his strong, muscular arms around me, but tried to release me just as quickly when I flinched the slightest bit – not from fear, never that with Jackson, but from pain. Our stint on the floor in the bathroom a week ago was not such a good idea in hindsight, not to mention the flight out of the kitchen earlier without my crutches. I’d re-injured my hip after falling to my knees in the bathroom that day, setting my recovery back almost to square one, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It was the moment I knew for sure that if we stood together, we could overcome this.
“No, stay,” I murmured against his neck, wrapping my arm around him and holding him to me. I needed to get used to thisas well. If I wanted to get back to where we were, we would have to push the envelope.
I cuddled next to him, placing my head on his chest just under his chin. I love this man. Eventually, we’ll find our way back to what we were. Until then, we would have to draw strength from each other. Just like earlier, time slipped away when I was in his arms. I wasn’t sure how long we lay there without speaking, but being in his arms was a relief.
“What are we going to do?” He whispered against my temple.
I sighed. My face turned up into a small smile, relief flooding me. “We are going to go to Liam. We don’t have to talk with him – I know he’s your uncle, and that’s probably holding you back, but we will ask him for help. There is bound to be someone he knows that can help us.”
He sighed heavily. “Okay. If that’s what you want then,” another sigh. “I’ll do it … and you’re right about Liam. His being my uncle makes it weird. I know he wouldn’t say anything, but still.”
Looking up at him, I smiled at him. “Thank you, Jax.”
He stared down at me, brushing his fingers against my face. “No thanks needed, babe. I’m sorry we didn’t see Liam tonight, and I’m sorry I was an ass. Forgive me?”
I scooted myself up in bed so I was face-to-face with him. His beautiful green eyes were filled with emotion, but instead of fear, hate, anger, or shame, this time, love was shining at me. Love without any other emotions shadowing it—just pure, unconditional love. Leaning toward him, I pressed my forehead to his, staring into his eyes and blocking everything else.
I whispered, “Of course, you’re forgiven, baby. I love you.” Taking a deep breath, I leaned toward him, never taking my eyes from his. His eyes grew huge as he realized my intentions.
“Katie?” He asked, but instead of answering, I pressed my lips to his softly, closing my eyes at that very first touch.
I could feel the fear and the terror rising within me. The tears collected behind my eyes and started to fall from under my lashes. He pulled away just as I began to tremble. “Take a breath and take your time. I’m not going anywhere, darlin’. Don’t rush this. We’ll get back there, and until we do, I’ll be right here by your side.”
His words turned on the waterworks, and I started crying in earnest. He just pulled me to him, turning me so my back was to him, and he was spooned behind me. “I love you, Katie. Always,” he whispered against my ear. I could hear the tears in his voice even though I knew he was whispering to try and hide them.
Twelve
Jackson
The following day, Katie and I curled up on the couch in my room and called Liam, asking him to see us as soon as he was available. When he arrived, we told him what we had decided—that while we appreciated his help, we wanted to talk with someone outside of the family. Our family had been through enough, and we no longer wanted to burden them.
