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“Shit,” Jackson groaned, scrubbing his hand over his face. “I can get with Livvy and reschedule things to go with you.”
I felt my eyes round as I blurted, “You don’t need to do that. I’ll be fine. You take your warrior squad, and I’ll take mine. Then, after we’re done, we’ll meet back here for dinner.”
“If you’re sure. I don’t mind moving shit around. What Liv and I need to do won’t take long,” Jackson persisted.
I leaned forward and kissed him. “Jackson, I’ll be fine. Go. Spend some time with Olivia. And be nice to her.”
He looked so torn as he said, “If you’re sure you’ll be okay.”
“I’m positive. Spend some time with your sister and friends. There’s no sense in you wasting time watching the therapist torture me,” I whispered against Jackson’s lips.
He brushed his mouth against mine softly once, then pulled away. His eyes were filled with longing. I’m sure mine were the same. I hungered to let go with him like I would’ve before…well, just before.
I gazed up at Jackson, watching his eyes darken. His lips twitched as he chewed on the inside of his lower lip. It would puff up if he continued worrying it with his teeth for more than a few moments. His full, pink mouth had captured my attention from the beginning. Something about this strong, confident man showing vulnerability lit me up.
I leaned forward, unable to fight the magnetic pull between his body and mine any longer. Jackson’s hands fell to the bed, fisting themselves in the covers. Just before our lips touched, he sighed my name, and the longing was nearly palpable.
“Katie.”
I paused—our bodies, our mouths, a hair’s breadth away from one another. My eyes flew to his, and unable to help myself, Ilunged at him. My hands buried themselves in his hair, pulling him to me. Our mouths slammed together in a fury of lips and teeth and tongue.
We lost ourselves in one another. Neither of us pushed for more. We just enjoyed letting the world melt away. I reveled in his kiss, but I wanted more.
I inched toward Jackson slowly. I could feel the muscles in his arms jumping and the blankets under me being pulled and twisted. I crawled onto his lap, straddling him and ignoring the flash of pain in my hip.
Jackson growled against my mouth. His hands found their way from the blankets to my back. He pulled me into his chest, pressing us together.
I felt him growing hard under me, but I pushed the unease out of my mind. I was in the arms of the man I love. A man who’d taken not one but two bullets for me. Who’d endured physical torture at the hands of people who were out to get me. Torture that had left its mark. Marks that would never fade.
I shifted, and Jackson groaned into my mouth as our tongues danced together in just the perfect way. When I shifted against his hard-on again, Jackson gripped my waist, twisting us until my back hit the bed. Our bodies aligned, so his hips pressed into mine, with him straddling one of my thighs. His dick pressed into the groove between my leg and pelvis.
That feeling of perfection I’d always gotten when in Jackson’s embrace was still there, but it was buried. Dulled by all the stuff covering it over. A month ago, Jackson manhandling me would have set my soul on fire even though, at the time, we weren’tspeaking to one another. Who knew angry, cold-shoulder sex could be so hot? This time, though…
While my body seemed to have traveled back in time to when sex and lust and want and need were a thing for Jackson and me, that wasn’t the case now. Now, everything was different. It was ruined. Everything was a mess, and I worried life would never be good again.
I sucked in a deep breath when Jackson’s mouth moved from mine to the spot under my ear that drove me wild. Usually. This time, the butterflies weren’t the good kind. They were an angry swarm in my belly set on ruining me.
I tried to calm the nerves and anxiety. This was Jackson, I reminded myself. The man who’d nearly died for me. He wouldn’t ever harm me. I just needed to tell myself that even if I had to do it a million and one times.
I could feel Jackson over me, his mouth toying with my neck. Something I usually loved, but the kissing, licking, biting, and sucking pushed me away instead of pulling me in. It was like I was a spectator but also a participant.
Everything felt off. As things continued blending but also diverging from one another, reality seemed to fall further and further away, leaving me feeling outside my body.
“Red,” I mumbled so softly I wasn’t sure it was loud enough to be heard outside my head.
When Jackson didn’t respond, I panicked, screaming, “Red!”
Jackson backed away from me, and I scrambled to the other side of the bed, putting as much space between us as possible.
“Katie, darlin’, I’m so proud of you, but I need to know if you’re okay?” he asked.
“Proud?” I asked.
Why the hell is he proud of me? I flipped out.
“You used your safe word. You felt unsafe, and you tapped out. Just the way you’re supposed to, but now, we gotta talk,” he said.
I didn’t notice him reaching toward me, so when his hand slid over my knee, I jumped. Jerking away from him, I nearly toppled off the bed, knocking the lamp from the nightstand as I caught myself.
