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Jackson flew away from me, his hands in the air as if under arrest. He backed away until he was off the bed and standing before the window seat. We just stared at one another, both of us broken and unsure.
He dropped to sit on the window seat. His chin dropped to his chest, and his hands fisted between his splayed knees. Tears blurred the sight of him, but I could still see him well enough to notice when he started shaking. I didn’t know if he was crying or just angry, but everything in me wanted to go to him. I wanted to comfort him, but I was so freaking scared. I’d already ruined the first intimate moment between us by flipping out.
When the sound of Jackson sobbing penetrated the fear, I stood to go to him. I walked to him slowly, carefully. I slid my hands into his hair.
He must not have heard me approach because Jackson surged to his feet. He looked like a caged animal as he shoved me from him.
“Jackson!” I yelled as I stumbled backward.
He reached for me but stopped and shoved his hands into his hair.
"I failed you, Katie. And I keep failing you.”
"No, Jackson, you didn’t. You saved me."
"How can you fucking say that? Huh? How?"
"Jackson…"
"I gotta go. I cannot stay here because every time I look at you, all I see is how I failed you. You’re my girl, and it was my job to protect you, and I fucking watched him hurt you. I FUCKING WATCHED!” Jackson screamed, tears running down his face.
“Please don’t go,” I sobbed.
“I love you, Katie, but I’ve got to go. I’m no fucking good for you. No good for anyone, Katie.” He stormed across the room to the door, jerking it open. It slammed into the wall so hard it got stuck.
Jackson paused, staring at the door he’d opened so hard it got stuck like he didn’t know his strength. Just as I stepped toward him, hopeful he would stay, he roared and slammed his fist through the wall.
I screamed and backed into the corner of the room between my nightstand and the bookcases lining the wall with the window seat. Sliding to the floor as tears rolled down my face, I buried my face in my knees and drew them up to my chest, making myself as small as possible.
Shouting and angry voices filtered up the stairs. I sobbed, torn completely apart by everything that had happened. By how I’d failed Jackson and caused us both to meltdown.
When the sound of Jackson’s truck peeled out of the driveway, and tires squealed as he left, Evan and Ava came to sit on the floor with me. They stayed just far enough away that I didn’t feel threatened. Even though they didn’t say anything, their being there helped so much because I didn’t feel so damn alone.
When my phone rang, Evan passed it to me.
“Hello?”
“Katie? It’s Liam. Are you still meeting me at the hospital?”
I closed my eyes and swallowed past the ball of emotion still choking me. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you wait.”
“You didn’t. I’m getting caught up on some paperwork. I’ll be here for a couple of more hours, at least, if you still want to come in.”
I nodded to myself before I answered, “Yeah. I do. We’ll leave in a few minutes.”
When Celeste, Lucia, Adam, Evan — who refused to stay behind — and I pulled up at the hospital, Liam stood outside waiting. Celeste dropped the rest of us off before pulling away. The others walked me up to where Liam waited.
Without any fanfare, he said, “Follow me. I’ll take you in through the back.”
I kept my head down and followed Liam through the hallways while Evan and the team surrounded us. Thank God because I knew I looked a wreck. Ava had begged to help me get ready, butI balked at her touching me to help with my hair and makeup. I just threw on the clothes she’d tossed at me, and that was it.
My hair was in the ugliest, messiest bun possible, and the mascara I’d fallen asleep in the night before had smeared and run down my cheeks.
At the door, the team stood guard as Liam ushered me inside.
“So, what is going on?” Liam asked as he took a seat.
I paced the room. Panic rattled through me, making my palms sweat and my fingers tingle. For several moments, Liam waited as I stomped and fidgeted. The blender my mind had become was set on high.
