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“Good. Have you congratulated the bride yet?” I asked, pulling her behind me to the fridge to get a beer.
“Not yet. I’m going there next. I wanted to see you first. Charlotte’s been so sweet to me this week. She’s texted all week, giving me a running commentary about what you were doing. She’s even sent me some photos of everyone,” Katie said.
I smiled at her. I wanted to talk to her, to get all this shit out in the open and packed away, but this wasn’t the time. Today was my buddy’s day. The talk Katie and I needed to have would have to wait.
I stared into the mirror, fighting with the fucking monkey suit Charlotte had chosen for us. I was more than a little drunk. Hell, the whole team was. We were all flushed, laughing and joking, and cutting up. Morgan was fucking glassy-eyed, and we poked fun at him all day, trying to keep him from losing his shit.
The guys on Team Holt were terrific, and as always, I fucking missed them during the off-season. Typically, we got together regularly between seasons, but with all the shit that had gone down, Morgan and I had been otherwise distracted. From the sound of it, though, the rest of the team stayed in touch. The team didn’t begrudge either of us, though. It seemed Olivia and Evan had kept them all in the loop, so I wasn’t plagued with questions I couldn’t answer when they’d shown up at the farm the day before.
“You and Morgan need to point out the water you’ve been drinking because I need to avoid that shit like the plague,” Kyle said as he handed me another beer.
“From the sound of it, Morgan didn’t stand any more of a chance with Charlie than I did with Katie. They turned our shit upside down without even breaking a sweat. And I don’t remember there being any water involved.”
I laughed at the incredulous look on his face. Kyle was a great guy, but his last girlfriend was a cunt, and I, for one, was glad to see her gone. I hated that my buddy got his heart fucking tromped in the process, but he was better off without her.
“Yeah, well, you can keep the world flipping women to yourselves. I’ve had one of those, and it didn’t turn out so good on my side of things,” Kyle said.
“Dude, don’t let her ruin you for good. She isn’t worth it. Now, let’s go get Morgan’s drunk ass up the aisle before Tinkerbell kicks our asses.” I clapped him on the back, pushing him toward Morgan.
“Oh shit! I’m late!” Morgan yelled when he saw us coming toward him. He rushed toward the door, teetering unsteadily as he went.
A couple of hours later, I was sitting at the table my family had been seated at for the reception dinner, staring out over the crowd of well-wishers. There were so many people here to celebrate, even though Morgan had been worried, with Charlotte being the only living member of her family left, it would belopsided. It was something he’d told me one day on the phone. Katie overheard, and she’d sent him a slew of ideas to integrate the guests into one group instead of dividing them into his and hers.
Speaking of my girl, Katie kept her distance from me all night. I didn’t know if I was pissed or sad or a combination of the two. Every time I’d gotten near her, she’d slipped off in the opposite direction. I finally spotted her sitting with Ava at the wedding party’s table.
Seeing my gaze locked on Katie, my dad said, “Something going on with you two?”
I glanced at him, shrugging. My gaze shifted back to Katie almost immediately. She was radiant. That brief moment we shared before the ceremony wasn’t enough, and I didn’t believe it had righted the things that had gone sideways between us last week.
“Well, that’s a yes,” my dad chuckled as he raised his whiskey glass to his lips, smiling as he took a drink.
I rolled my eyes at him. “It’s not something I’m comfortable talking to my dad about.”
“So, it’s sex.”
“Jesus, Dad,” I groaned, stroking my hand over my mouth and beard before reaching for my own whiskey.
He tossed his head back, laughing like a hyena. He turned to me, glancing around us. “It might come as a shock, but you ain’t done nothing I ain’t done, kiddo. As much as you don’t wanna hear it, your mama’s a hell cat in the sack.”
“Fucking hell. That dinner was too damn good to let it make a reappearance, so let’s not talk about you and Mama’s bedroom shenanigans.”
If he doesn’t fucking shut his trap, I am going to puke.
Dad smirked. The same one that I wore frequently before New York. It was the same smirk all the Holts sported on occasion. Being on the receiving end of it reminded me why people frequently said they wanted to smack it off my face. I was having that exact same reaction at the moment.
Realizing he would keep pushing until I opened up to him, I said, “Katie and I…” I sighed, scrubbing my hands across my face. “We aren’t doing well. The therapist gave us some coping skills and has been working with us on some shit, but…fuck, Dad. I don’t know that it’s doing any good.”
“You have to give that shit time, son.”
“I know.”
I glanced back at Katie and caught her looking at me, but her gaze flicked away when she saw me look her way. I hung my head, whispering to control the emotion that swept through me. “But what if I lose her in the meantime because I scared her, or she finally realizes I failed to protect her and may not be able to keep her safe in the future?”
My dad patted my knee before saying, “Sometimes it’s not about protecting them from harm, son, because sometimes we can’t. Sometimes, it’s about being there to help them recover. Even more, it’s about letting them love you and help you recover from what this shit-ass world has heaped into our fucking laps. That’s the hardest part of loving a woman. Letting her see your tender underbelly, your flaws, and all your ugly scars and thenaccepting that she loves you. Not despite them, though. No, the right woman loves you and all your ugly parts, too.”
I looked at him. “How do you get passed not being strong enough to protect something so sweet and beautiful from all the evil, ugly shit in the world?”
“From what Katie tells me, you were strong and brave and so fucking courageous that she’d never have made it out of there without you. That she held onto your strength and bravery and courage when she had none. That you were the light in the darkness. The beacon at the end of the tunnel.”
