Page 122 of Justice


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“What’s a limpet?”

“It’s an aquatic snail.”

I frowned up at him. “I’m not sure if I should be insulted or not.”

He smiled down at me, his fangs peeking through the gap. “They’re very strong. They cling to rocks during high tide so fiercely that not even the sea can move them.”

My fingers spasmed on Sebastian’s chest. “I’m okay with being a limpet then. I’m going to hold on to you and never let you go.”

Sebastian’s hands fell to the bed. “You can’t say things like that. We’re not together, Matty.”

His body tensed, like he was preparing to nudge me off. I clung to him more stubbornly.

“What do you call this then?”

The silence was so long that I thought he wasn’t going to answer me. But eventually, he spoke. “We’re having fun.”

“Fun,” I echoed back at him flatly.

“Yes.”

I couldn’t think of what to say that wouldn’t make him run. Others saw a sinister and terrifying vampire, but I knew the truth.

Sebastian was scared. He didn’t know how to be happy. I was offering him that on a platter, but he was too afraid to take it. Or, even worse, didn’t know how to allow himself to.

“Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

Sebastian’s question threw me. Hadn’t we been talking about him? Us?

I bit my lip, drawing circles on his chest as I considered my answer. How honest did I want to be?

Sod it. If I couldn’t be open, how could I expect the same from him?

“Ideally, I’ll be married,” I said softly, keeping my eyes on his chest as I spoke. “My husband and I will have a house close to Leo and Ferry. We’ll spend our summers in the South of France, visiting my parents.”

“Your parents live in France?”

There was a note of surprise to Sebastian’s question. “Yes, they moved there a few years ago once they retired. I don’t get to visit them as often as I like, especially not on my student budget.”

“So you’ve got your husband, your house, and your holidays planned,” Sebastian said quietly. “What else? What else is in this dream future of yours?”

You, my heart screamed. That answer would have him out the door in a second. Instead, I offered him a tiny glimpse of truth.

“Children,” I whispered. “The thing I want most is a family of my own. I don’t want to work. Not really. I want to be a stay-at-home dad. Take them to all the toddler classes. Be on the school playground at pick up and drop off. Maybe join the PTA if I’m brave enough and organise fun events.”

Sebastian was silent, his chest barely moving, like he was holding his breath.

“Then, when they’re older, I’d like to maybe do some volunteering. But, if this is my dream future, I don’t want to work. I want to be there for my husband. To be able to dedicate all my time and focus to him and my children. I don’t want anything getting in the way of that.”

I trailed off, aware that maybe I’d shared too much. Would Sebastian judge me for wanting such a simple life?

“That sounds perfect, Matty.” He hugged me close, burying his face in my hair. “You deserve all of that. Don’t you dare settle for anything else.”

Even as he held me tight, I felt my heart start to fracture.

Because even though I saw Sebastian next to me, with me during every future phase of my life, he didn’t see the same.

This was going to end. He was going to walk away from me.

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