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I grabbed his shoulders. “Is Matty okay? Has something happened?”
Leo’s lips thinned. “No, he’s not okay.”
“Shit,” I barked, rushing around the flat, grabbing my go bag and shoving my few belongings inside. “You can fill me in on the way back. I need to get to him.”
“Sebastian” Leo’s hand touched my shoulder, holding me in place. “Matty isn’t injured. He’s not been kidnapped, attacked, or otherwise physically hurt.”
The relief had me stumbling back against the wall, the bag in my hands slipping to the floor with a thump. “But you said?—”
“He’s heartbroken. You broke his heart, Sebastian. He’s so far from okay that I’m not sure he’ll ever recover.”
I slid down the wall, burying my head in my hands. “Fuck. I thought he’d get over me quickly.”
“Get over you?” Leo’s voice rose in disbelief as he continued to dig the knife in. “He’s not even the same person without you. He’s barely eating or sleeping, Sebastian. He doesn’t leave the flat unless he’s dragged out by one of us. I can’t remember the last time I saw him bake or crochet. Christmas is usually his favourite time of year and I could hardly persuade him to take part in any of it. He doesn’t wear makeup anymore. Doesn’t go out with his friends. He’s not living, Sebastian.”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen.” A sob broke through my hands. “This is what I was afraid of. I didn’t want to ruin his life.”
“Then why the fuck did you break up with him?” Leo roared. “Jesus, Sebastian. Matty literally offered you his heart on a platter and you threw it back in his face!”
“Because I’m not worthy of it,” I yelled back. “I’m no good for him, Leo. He deserves so much better than me. You don’t want me with him either, not if you’re being honest.”
“Oh I’ll agree that you don’t deserve him,” he said, his voice dripping with disgust. “But not that you shouldn’t be with him.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“But you’re right that you don’t deserve him,” he continued like I hadn’t spoken. “Matty deserves to be fought for. Worshipped. Cherished.”
I nodded. Good, Leo understood.
“So, you going to do that?”
My head snapped up. “What?”
Leo crouched down in front of me. “I’m not a total dick, Sebastian. I can’t see Matty suffer any more. I know part of this whole thing is on me. If I’d reacted…better, when I walked in, maybe you wouldn’t have broken it off. Hell, if I’d been less of a dick and tried to get to know you, this might not have happened at all.”
I tried to protest at that, but Leo cut me off with a glare. “It is partially on me. I could’ve made more of an effort where you were concerned. You’re important to my brother, which should automatically make you important to me. Believe me, Matty has informed me of every area I let him down. Honestly…I’m ashamed of myself.”
I stared at him, stunned.
“We’ve been trying to track you down for the last two months,” Leo continued. “Basically since I realised Matty wasn’t going to be happy unless you were part of his life. We weren’t making any headway though. Even Mori couldn’t find you. It was only when Toby got back that we finally located you.”
“Does Matty know you’re here?”
“No. I didn’t want to get his hopes up. Not after what he’s suffered through already.”
Suffered. Leo wasn’t one to exaggerate.
It wasn’t only my heart I’d broken that day, but Matty’s too.
Fuck. Matty was in pain, because of me.
I’d never hated myself more.
“I’ve had a plan in place this whole time,” Leo continued. “I was going to come in here, beat the shit out of you, and list all the ways you’ve fucked everything up. Tell you that I hate you for hurting Matty, and that the last thing I want to do is let you back in his life. That you’re fucking pathetic for toying with him the way you have.”
“All valid points,” I said heavily. “Why isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“For one, you’re in a state that’s possibly worse than Matty’s. That helps. I’m enough of a dick to be happy you’re suffering too.”
