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“Why would you do that?”
“Because you need him,” Leo said simply. “And now you won’t feel pressured to let him bite you before you’re ready. Not that he’d let you feed him. I think he’d literally starve to death before asking you to feed him.”
Yeah, that sounded like the stubborn man I’d fallen in love with. This whole thing was just so confusing though. “What was the point of him breaking my heart if he was just going to give up entirely?”
“That’s the thing,” Leo said carefully, “I don’t think he thought he was breaking your heart. Or, if he was, he thought you’d get over him quickly.”
“Then he’s an even bigger idiot than I realised.” But I kind of understood it. Even before that terrible day, I’d known Sebastian believed himself to be unlovable. Nothing I’d said could convince him otherwise.
“His logic was warped, but I genuinely believe he was trying to protect you.”
I swivelled my head to stare at him. “Never thought I’d see the day you’d be persuading me that Sebastian’s a good person.”
“Wouldn’t go that far,” Leo said gruffly. “But it’s obvious he loves you, Matty. I don’t think he’d fuck it up again. Not like that, anyway. Having said that, I’ve learned my lesson about interfering and not trusting you to make your own decisions, so just know I’ll support you no matter what you do.”
I rolled my eyes. “You say this now, after you’ve tracked down my ex and dragged him back into my life.”
Leo ruffled my curls. “Well you’re still my little brother at the end of the day. If you’re sad, I’m going to move mountains to try and fix it.”
My heart swelled. He might overstep sometimes, but I truly was lucky to have Leo. “Or fly to Argentina.”
“Trust me, that wasn’t a hardship. Did you know Toby has a private plane? I’ve never felt so damn fancy in my entire life.”
I was saved from responding by Ferry reappearing, mugs of tea held in each hand as he eyed us warily. There was no annoyance there, like he’d already got over the idea that Leo had given Sebastian his blood. That made sense—I didn’t think Ferry was capable of being annoyed at Leo for longer than thirty seconds. “Is it safe to come in yet?”
“Yes,” I said, standing smoothly and gathering the papers from the sofa. Taking a cup of tea from Ferry, I stooped to kiss Leo’s cheek. “Thanks, Leo. I love you.”
“Love you too.” He pointed at Sebastian’s notes. “Just let me know if any of that upsets you at all and I’ll send Ferry round to beat on him a bit.”
Ferry’s scowl transformed into a smirk as he inclined his head. “It’d be my pleasure.”
I scowled at them both as I backed away towards my bedroom. “No more beating on my…” What did I even call him? My ex? “On Sebastian.”
I was almost out of earshot when I heard Leo mutter, “Spoilsport.”
Itold myself I wasn’t going to dive straight into reading what Sebastian had written. I was going to be mature and breezy. Take a shower first, get my pyjamas on.
Yeah, I don’t know who I was trying to kid either.
I’d barely shut the door behind me before I was flopping down and carefully unfolding the pages.
Like he’d told me, Sebastian had replied to each individual text message, transcribing them above his own responses.
13th Nov 4:30 p.m.
Please come back.
Seb, you can’t leave me like this. I won’t let you.
I’m so sorry, sunshine. Leaving you was the worst mistake I’ve ever made, and believe me, I’ve a list long enough to condemn me in even the most lenient of courts. My second worst mistake was throwing away my phone. If I’d seen this message, I would’ve come back so fast. Thrown myself at your feet and begged for your forgiveness.
It hurt to read back my messages, the pain so evident. But Sebastian’s words soothed that ache a little, patching up the wounds he’d inflicted.
His replies to those first few messages were just as full of sorrow. Devastation that he’d hurt me. Horror that I’d reacted so badly and he hadn’t been there to pick up the pieces.
That was particularly obvious when he discovered I’d been to his flat only to find it abandoned, like no one had ever lived there.
I had to empty it, sunshine. If I’d left anything behind, I would’ve used it as an excuse to come back and check on you. It might sound stupid, but I’m not as strong as you. I thought by leaving nothing behind, and taking no reminders of you with me, I might be able to cope.
